Page 56 of Untouchable Queen
Then I pad down the cool marble steps to head toward his office. Luca and Tullio stand outside, their expressions carefully blank, their gazes trained forward as I knock on the solid wood door.
“Yes?” Lucian’s familiar voice is low and inviting, and it sends a shiver down my spine.
“Can I come in?” I ask, hating how meek my voice sounds.
“Of course. You’re my wife. This house is as much yours as it is mine.”
Something in the ice that hardens the edges of his words, makes me want to cry, but I push the feeling down and choose to take him at his word. Stepping inside his luxurious home office, I close the door behind me, leaning back against the solid wood for strength. He rarely uses the space, but it’s nice enough. I’m tempted to use it as a new place for us to mingle work with pleasure. The thought makes my core tighten, and warmth floods my stomach.
But Lucian keeps his attention focused on the paperwork before him. Shuffling papers, and scribbling notes, he doesn’t even glance up to acknowledge me as I wait. The longer the silence stretches between us, the more apparent it becomes that if I want to speak to him, I’m going to have to start.
It makes my hands shake and my stomach quiver. I’m not good at being the vulnerable one. Lucian’s taken the reins all this time, forcing that vulnerability from me, wringing it out of me one drop at a time. Initiating a conversation is so much harder than I could have imagined, and the words stick behind the lump in my throat.
Clearing it, I release the doorknob to take a step farther into the room, and I lift my chin as I strengthen my resolve. “What’sgoing on, Lucian?” I demand crossing my arms defensively over my chest.
Finally, his scribbling stops, and his eyes lift to meet mine. “You’re the one who asked to speak with me,” he points out coolly.
“Yeah, because you’re not talking to me at all. You’ve been distant and standoffish for days. At first, I thought it might be because I was hurt. Then I figured it was because you were focused on dealing with Saturo, but now I’m getting the feeling that it’smeyou’re intentionally trying to distance yourself from.” My voice cracks on the last word, and I press my lips together to fight the wave of emotion that threatens to overwhelm me.
Meanwhile, Lucian’s hazel gaze is cool and assessing as he studies my face. It holds none of the cheeky playfulness he usually catches me off guard with, and even though I’m wearing little enough that I know it should arouse him, he hasn’t even glanced at my body.
“Why are you being so cold?” I demand, striding forward to slap my palms against his desk. Because I want to get a reaction out of him—anything to break through the stony silence.
“My aim was to gain the Manhattan territory,” he states flatly, his usually warm hazel eyes glacial in their apathy. “Our marriage alliance guarantees that at least any progeny we have will inherit it—even if I can’t. And now, we’ve gained the yakuza territory as well, which means I have no further need to do business with you. So, what does it matter if we have feelings for each other or not? Why keep up the pretense?”
If he reached across the desk and slapped me right now, I would be less surprised, and my lungs freeze in my chest, incapable of functioning as his words cut me to the core.
“We might be married,” he continues, his tone agonizingly nonchalant as he remains seated in his chair, the desk an impenetrable barrier between us, “but I see no point in actinglike we’re in love when we’re not. You wanted to keep things separate, Tatiana. Remember? So, that’s what I’m giving you. I’ll rule my territory, and you can rule yours. Once you give me an heir, I see nothing else keeping us together. So, after that…?”
He clicks his tongue, making it sound like this is all some inconsequential logistical meeting—not him bringing my world crumbling down around my ears.
“You can go back to living in Manhattan if you’d like. We can lead completely separate lives. You won’t have to cross paths with me aside from the occasional public event that requires us to present a united front or when it’s time to have another child.”
“Is that what you want?” I breathe, the blood in my veins solid ice.
“Does it matter?” he counters, his expression smooth and emotionless.
For one agonizing second, I stand frozen, speechless as I try to make sense of his words.
He never loved me.
He doesn’t want me.
He married me only for the benefits of becoming my husband.
Crushing devastation breaks my trance, and I whirl, sprinting from his office, unable to stop the sobs that rip from my chest.
33
TATIANA
“Natasha!” I call as soon as I step into the vaulted entryway of Killian’s Seagate mansion. I’m getting too comfortable with showing up unannounced, but I really need my sister right now.
“We’re in here!” I hear from the general direction of the kitchen.
Heels rapping sharply against the marble floor, I head briskly toward the sound of her voice, doing my best to wipe the tears from my cheeks and pull myself together. But try as I might, they just keep coming. I can’t help myself. I feel like I’m falling apart at the seams, and I don’t know where else to turn.
“Oh my God, Ti!” Natasha gasps, jumping up from her bar stool as soon as she sees the state I’m in.
