Page 58 of Untouchable Queen
“Am I? I guess I just wanted you to know,” I say, turning my eyes back to my sister. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I would never betray the family, and I love you so much?—”
“Hey, hey. You haven’t betrayed anyone,” Natasha insists, jumping up from her chair to pull me into another hug. “I know how much you’ve given up for me, for the men. You don’t have to be miserable for the rest of your life to convince me of that. Okay?”
Sniffling, I nod, and Natasha slowly lowers back into her seat.
“I don’t know when it happened—or even how exactly. All I know is that I was so angry with Lucian. Ihatedhim for everything he’s done. I was awful to him. I said awful things. I pushed him away every chance I could get, but he just kept coming back for more. I don’t know. It’s like…I built him up to be this horrible villain in my head, a man who couldn’t have a single redeeming quality. But from the moment we said our vows, he’s been nothing but good to me. He’s…respected me. He’s listened and seemed to actually value my opinion. He’s treated me not just like his equal but like someone he would do anything for. He’s smart and funny and playful—he knows how to make me take myself less seriously. And God, these big, ridiculous romantic gestures, they used toinfuriateme. I couldn’t possibly think they were genuine after what he did. But then, in Italy…I don’t know. It changed. I lost it on him that first night—like really lost it. I told him just how much I hate him, and he got on his knees andapologized.”
Quinn and Natasha both look stunned once again as they sit with rapt attention.
Shaking my head, I look down at my hands. “After that, I just couldn’t seem to hold onto that anger like I had before. I knew I shouldn’t forgive him. He doesn’t deserve it. He took something from us that we’ll never get back. But every time I turned around, Lucian was doing something kind or making me laugh. He can be so affectionate and charming and…”
“Hot?” Quinn suggests.
“Yes,” I groan, dropping my head onto the table. Then I slowly look up at them. “I’m pregnant,” I murmur. “I’m carrying his child.” My chin wobbles dangerously, and I swallow hard to keep myself together.
Two gasps echo back to me, making my stomach knot, and I nod.
“I found out a few days before the deal with Saturo went south, but I never told Lucian.”
“Why not?” Natasha asks, her eyes gentle.
“Because I’ve been too scared to admit that I’m falling in love with him. I kept holding on to the idea that I would come up with some way to defeat him—that if I just bided my time, I could think of a plan that would bring him to his knees, and that would make up for these traitorous feelings I have. But when I realized I was pregnant, all of a sudden, none of it mattered. All that matters is doing what’s best for this child.”
“And that’s not Lucian?” Natasha asks. There’s no judgment in her voice, no opinion, she genuinely wants to know what I think.
I shake my head. “No. That’s the thing. Everything that’s happened since Saturo knocked me out has made me realize that heiswhat’s best for this child.”
Quinn frowns. “Now I’m confused. If you’re in love with Lucian, you want to be with him, you want him to be the father of your child, and you’re already married to him, why are you here crying instead of telling him he’s going to be a father?”
When she puts it that way, it sounds silly. But they didn’t see him in his office just now. They didn’t hear the things he said to me. Something deep inside me tells me he didn’t mean what he said—or at least not all of it. But I truly believe he said those things to hurt me. And I’m terrified that it’s because I’ve been so stubborn that he’s finally given up on me. I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I’m in love with him, but it might be too little too late.
Rolling the mug between my palms, I can’t bring myself to look either of them in the eye. “Lucian’s been distant this whole last week. I thought it might be because I was hurt and he was worried, and then I thought it could be because he was so dead set on teaching Saturo a lesson. But after the fight today, he…told me we could stop pretending to be a couple. That I can go back to Manhattan, and he’ll stay in Queens, and we can rule separately.” A tear escapes my eye, and I brush it impatiently away. “Is this safe to drink?” I demand, lifting the mug of peppermint I’ve been avoiding this whole time.
Quinn’s head jerks back in a startle response. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“I’ve been terrified to eat or drink anything that might hurt the baby, but I can’t just go buy a baby book when I’ve been hiding it from Lucian all this time, and I’m starting to realize just how little I know about babies. All I know is that there’s a slew of things that I could do to hurt it, and I’m freaking out a little.”
“Easy,” Quinn says, giving my arm a reassuring squeeze. “Yes, the peppermint is perfectly fine. It could actually be helpful with any nausea you might be experiencing. And I’ll put together a list for you about foods you should avoid. But seriously, Tatiana, you’ll be fine if you just think about anything you’re unsure of in moderation. Okay?”
Releasing a breath, I give her a grateful smile. “Thanks.”
She nods, giving my arm one last squeeze before she gets up to start shuffling through the kitchen drawers.
I turn my attention back to my sister, needing some kind of guidance. “Have I ruined it? Should I even want to fix it if I have?”
Natasha gives me a kind smile. “One, you haven’t ruined anything. If Lucian’s not man enough to survive the firecracker you are, then he shouldn’t have signed you up to be his wife in the first place,” she says, holding up her finger for each item on her list. “Two, you deserve to be happy. After sacrificing so much to protect this family, how could you think you should have to settle for anything less? And if he’s the man you want, then who am I to stand in your way? You supported me when I fell in love with Killian, even though neither of us thought it was a good idea. Remember?” Natasha smirks as Quinn releases a bark of laughter. “And three, Lucian will come around. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I saw the way he looked at youtoday. If you tell him everything—that you’re in love with him and carrying his child—there’s not a chance in hell he’ll walk away.”
“She’s right,” Quinn says, returning to the table and tucking a small, folded piece of paper into the palm of my hand. “I put my number on there as well. Call me if you need anything, day or night. I love talking baby stuff.” Then she winks at me, her hand coming to rest on her abdomen.
My heart leaps. “Are you … ?”
Quinn nods, her face splitting into a radiant smile.
“Oh my God, congratulations!” I’m out of my chair and pulling her into a hug before I can decide if we’re really at that level of close.
But Quinn giggles and wraps her arms around me in a tight hug. “We can be baby bump buddies!” she says, making me laugh.
“Alright, is there anything else we need to clear up before you go home and get your man?” Natasha asks.
