Page 61 of Heartless Sinner

How could I let my brother go after what he’d done? How could I just let him go on living his life while knowing he’d so viciously, and easily, killed our brother? What would my mother say?

…what would my mother say if I killed him?

Would Alexander come after me if I let him live? Could I even trust his word that he wouldn’t? Would my family become a liability to Vince and his family? What would his father do if he found out about this?

I felt furious and nauseas at the same time. I wanted revenge for my brother, Dmitri. I wanted to cry for my other brother, Alexander.

Whichever option I chose, I knew it wouldn’t make me happy.

Whatever I did, a part of me would be irrevocably broken.

But there was only one option that would guarantee peace.

Swallowing hard, I turned to Vince and held out my hand.

He knew what I was asking for. He pulled his gun out and handed it to me. The look in his eyes was all too knowing. I knew, in that moment, that if our positions were reversed, if one of his own brothers had betrayed them so horrifically… he would make the same painful choice.

Because there was no other choice to make.

We were alike, that way. We were mafia. Me, more than I’d ever realized.

I turned and looked at my brother. He had beaten and stabbed Dmitri multiple times, viciously and without mercy. When the murderer had been a faceless man, someone I didn’t know, I had imagined dealing the same pain back onto him, making him die the same slow, agonizing way Dmitri had.

Now I just aimed the gun at his head.

Alexander had a grim, savage smile on his face. “Dmitri was right. You are the smart one.”

“Oh, Alexander.” I blinked to keep my vision clear, and swallowed hard to keep myself from falling apart. “I know you don’t believe me, but I do love you.”

It was just that love wasn’t enough to save his dark, violent soul.

I pulled the trigger and fired.

I’d always been a good shot and the bullet hit its mark.

The gun was taken from my shaking hands immediately and I knew from his warmth, his scent, his strength, who it was. I turned into Vince as I heard the returning footsteps of Toby and the others, ignoring them.

“Shh.” Vince held me tightly, so tightly it hurt, but I wanted it to hurt. My nails dug into him as I finally released my tears and pain and sobbed uncontrollably. “Shh, sweetheart, I know.”

“Don’t ever do that to me,” I whispered. “Don’t ever make me make that choice again.”

I didn’t mean the choice of what to do with Alexander. That was a choice only I could make and I was glad that Vince had let me make it, that he respected and trusted me. I meant that I couldn’t ever be put in such a position again, or I’d break. I couldn’t imagine what I’d do if it was Vince in that chair and I’d lost him.

“I won’t,” Vince promised, his hands gentle in my hair. “I won’t ever do that to you. You won’t ever have to make that choice with me.”

“Mom would hate him if she knew,” I said, the grief in my heart a huge aching chasm of agony. “I couldn’t banish him—he’d come back—I didn’t—we couldn’t be safe—we can’t have a war—”

“I know, sweetheart. I know. You did the right thing.” Vince stroked my back, comforting me with his words and his touch. “I’ll sort it all out. Let’s get you home.”

I clung to him tighter, scared he’d leave me to take care of things and I’d be dropped off to the apartment alone, but Vince just soothed me and kissed my hair again. He didn’t let me go.

I only dimly registered what happened on the drive home. I realized, as if I was floating in some dark space separate from my body, that I was in shock. It wasn’t until sometime later I realized I was in bed, in Vince’s arms, still being held.

I’d been crying, I noted, but even though the tears had finally stopped, I knew it would be a long time before the torment and anguish of losing both brothers would fade.

Vince noticed that I’d come back to myself and gentle untangled me from his arms. “I’ll order us some food,” was all he said.

The next few days were a weird blur of grief and heartache. Vince, I noticed, was always home. Even though I knew he was on the phone, handling business, he never left the apartment.

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