Page 17 of Rejected Plus-Size Mate

I was practically naked last night when he saw me. I had started a load of laundry and figured I might as well clean the dress I was wearing while I was at it. I wasn't leaving the house, and I was going to head to bed as soon as I threw them into the dryer. I hadn't expected company, much less for Cayden, to walk in.

I took a deep breath in and exhaled loudly. "Riley, let it go. He doesn't like you like that. He made it perfectly clear."

If he had wanted me, he would have tried years ago. Which means he didn't.

I thought back to the first time I felt that tug to be with Cayden. We were sitting together in the living room playing scrabble. April had put down the word Bubble and won the game. She got up, cheering, when I felt a tug towards the doorway. Cayden had just entered the living room, and his eyes snapped to me.

I'd seen Cayden from a distance and heard about him from April all the time, but I'd not seen him. I remember the wind being knocked out of me as he stopped by the couch. His eyes stopped on me, and I could see he felt the same tug I had.

Then April started talking, and he acted like nothing had happened. I was suddenly like everyone else.

Cayden and I spent a lot of time running into each other. But he never stepped across the line. He was respectful, but that was it. He didn't even go near the line, let alone let me think he liked me that way.

I felt he would have if he were ever going to tell me. We had time alone together. He'd pick me up for sleepovers and drop me off after them. If Cayden really wanted me, it would have happened by now. Which meant he didn't.

I pulled myself up and sighed. My mind wasn't going to calm so I needed to go for a run to clear my head. If I didn't, I wasn't going to get past this.

I stripped down and dug around to find a pair of pants. As I moved, I caught a glance at myself. I stared, taking in my thighs and my stomach. I was a larger girl with curves; that was how I saw myself.

I could suddenly hear Brad, and a shiver ran down my body.

Put Some clothes on. No one needs to see you like that.

I grabbed my pants, yanking them on quickly, tightening the string too tightly. I pulled on sneakers, feeling my blood growing hot with embarrassment.

Why would Cayden want me? The look in his eyes couldn't have been shock of want but shock of horror. Brad was right. No one would want me when I looked like this.

I headed for the front door, popped the headphones into my ears, and clicked on the music. I shut the door, locked it, and hurried down the steps to the sidewalk.

As loud as the music was, I could still hear Brad.

"You need to start focusing on your image. Don't you think about how we look together? It's important. People will see us together and think a certain way."

I shook my head, trying to push him away. The entire point of this trip was to get away from him, yet here he was inside my head. Would he always be there?

You need to lose weight.

You need to eat healthier.

You need to stop eating.

You need to start working out.

You need to do a diet.

Over and over and over, it went.

You need to do this. You need to do that.

No matter what I did, it was never enough.

When I first met Brad, everything seemed perfect. We went out for dinner, and after eating, we shared dessert. Brad didn't care about my weight—he never commented on it. Then, when we moved in together, suddenly, the comments started.

Let's skip dessert. You want to fit into that dress tomorrow, don't you? How about you cut back on the snacks? We have that photo shoot for my job.

The comments were simple at first, and I honestly thought he cared. He wanted what was best for me, but even if I lost a pound, he expected it to be ten. Suddenly, nothing I did was enough. He always wanted more.

The tears built up, and I jogged quickly down the road. I hated how much I listened. I hated how I just took it and thought he wanted what was best for me.

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