Page 22 of Rejected Plus-Size Mate

She nodded, chewing on her lower lip. "Yeah. I'll be okay."

I smiled before I turned and headed back with the guys. I felt that tug, suddenly wishing I had kissed her one more time.

Chapter 9 - Riley

I groaned as my alarm went off. I yanked the pillow over my face, not wanting to get up. I hardly slept because my mind was a churning train all night. I kept replaying Cayden kissing me on the cheek, his words ringing over and over in my ear. I hope you find what you're looking for.

What did he mean by those words? Was there something I was missing? Did he want something to happen?

"Ahhh," I growled loudly, throwing the pillow off me. This was not good for me. Did the man know what he was doing to me? Did he not think about it? Or was he just being nice, and I was looking too much into what he said?

I had never wanted someone so damn badly in my life like I wanted him. This crush was beginning to become a problem. He was invading my mind, and there was no stopping it. I couldn't even sleep.

I pulled myself out of bed and stripped down, grabbing a pair of stretchy pants. I grabbed a bra, yanking it on. I searched for April's headphones, needing to go for a run. I was a goddamn mess of hormones and need. A run was the only way I knew how to bring myself back to normal or what was close enough to it.

I pulled on a shirt and grabbed my shoes. I tied them tightly, and as I pulled myself up, my eyes paused on the hat that Cayden had bought me. It was a simple black winter hat with a pompom on the top.

We ended up going around the festival after he finished the day. We played some games and took in a few of the shops that were set up.

My mind went back to him putting the hat on me and how close he stood. A shiver ran down my spine as his fingers pulled some of my hair away, his eyes roaming over my face. "Looks good."

I felt my heart skip a beat, and I stared at him. I could hardly speak, let alone thank him.

"Enough," I whispered to myself. "He doesn't like you like that. Get over it."

I thought back to when we were younger and the summer party. It was the summer before he left. April and I were sitting outside sunbathing. Our goal was to get tan, even though I knew I would get burned. I just enjoyed being out of the house and spending time with her. Some of me wanted Cayden to see me as more than just April's friend. My crush had grown a lot over the summer.

I had felt decent about myself. At least April made me feel good in my own skin. I was just starting to grow out of my child body and more into my adult one. I was just getting my curves, and when Cayden came out, I desperately wanted him to notice me.

I remember feeling my heart skip a beat as he looked at me. I remember not breathing and waiting for him to do something or say something. I was wearing the perfect swimsuit and a sun hat. I had painted my toenails and made sure to have a little water on me so it looked like I was glistening. I made sure I looked good.

And then he cringed.

I felt like throwing up. I felt the tears bloom and the ache twists in my heart. Cayden had never made me feel unsure about my body, much less question it, until that day. That day, I quickly learned what he really thought.

I remember excusing myself and getting dressed. I had fake cramps so I could go home and be left alone. I'd rather be around my folks than see that look in his eyes again. I remember crying for hours, wishing I could take everything back. I remembered wishing I'd never met Cayden.

"If he really wanted me, he wouldn't have cringed," I whisper to myself. It was clear Cayden put up with me. April was a bit bigger herself, so it made sense that he didn't say anything, but that didn't mean he was into girls like that. I knew he only put up with me because of April; otherwise, he wouldn't have done half of what he had for me.

But I couldn't stop rethinking it over the past week. Cayden might have continued to be respectful, but it was different when he looked at me now. When he saw me half naked and in the dress, there was no disgust in his eyes. It was almost like a hunger. But that couldn't be right. Cayden could have any girl he wanted. He was fit and clearly a catch, so there was no way he would look at me with want. I was just some girl who was friends with his sister. Mate or not, he didn’t have to fancy me.

Yet, my mind didn't let it go. I needed to know, but I didn't want to at the same time. I didn't want to relive that day all over again. Rejection cut deeper than a knife ever could, and it hurt. It was a cut no one even knew you were carrying around.

It was enough to get me moving. I started my music and made my way outside. I started down the road and let the music push me forward.

I was just about to turn around the block when I heard my music stop and my phone ring instead. I groaned, knowing it was around the time April normally called me.

It always started with I'm sorry I left. I hope my brother is not too big of an ass. The other day, she told me she wasn'tcoming back as soon as she wanted and would let me know when.

I smirked and clicked answer, not even looking at my phone. I stepped toward a bench, taking a deep breath to calm my heart.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

My entire body tensed up, and I froze. I swallowed quickly, realizing it was Brad. Why hadn't I looked at the name before answering?

Fuck.

I took a slow breath, pulled my phone from my pocket, and ripped the headphones out. I then tried to think of what to say.

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