Page 96 of Say You Will

“Kept eyes on me. Literally? You had peoplewatchingme?”

“There was no one following you. We kept an ear out for rumors, changes in spending habits, unexplained absences. Financial or medical upheaval. New people entering your sphere.”

“This is sick. I’m not a criminal. I have a right to privacy.”

Henry’s jaw flexes, and his brows furrow as he trains his blue gaze on mine.

“You’re not even sorry. You’d do it again,” I say in disbelief.

Never breaking eye contact, he reaches for my hand and presses it under the water to the scar on his abdomen, his skin hot under my touch. “A child was responsible for this. My brother had no idea what was happening until it was too late. They manipulated him. It doesn’t mean we couldn’t trust him. It meant he was vulnerable, and we have a responsibility to protect our vulnerable,” he says gently.

Stricken, I look down at the place where he’s holding my hand against him.

“My biggest regret is that I didn’t ask you not to go with your mother in the first place. My second biggest regret is that I didn’t tell you to call me to bring you home the moment you realized you were unhappy with her. The one thing I’mnotsorry for is checking on you. I wish I’d been more thorough about it. You were hurt and afraid, physically and emotionally, andI didn’t know. That’s my regret.”

I lean forward and rest my forehead on his shoulder.

His wet hand moves up to splay wide across the center of my back. “I don’t like ripping off your rose-colored glasses. I’m not a hero and I never have been. I’m not going to lie to you about this and pretend I give a fuck about laws written in books. I care about your feelings, but I care about keeping you and my family safe more.”

“Your parents did everything they could to give you normal lives, including friends.” It’s a denial, not because I don’t believe him, but because I wish I didn’t.

“I’ve never had a normal life, but they gave us what they knew how to. Within reason.”

“You could have been raised like Clarissa.” Clarissa’s childhood and teenage years were spent as a virtual prisoner. Even inside the classroom, a private bodyguard hovered in the background.

“The only reason Clarissa Harcourt’s father permitted her the small freedoms he did was because we claimed her as ours. Most of the time, our reputation acts as a deterrent to harm. Few come after us when they know annihilation will be the result. We aren’t under constant guard unless we have reason to believe there’s an active threat. But it only works if we’re diligent enough to root out problems early. We can’t get sloppy.”

He avoids my eyes and plays with my fingers. “Do you understand what I do, Franki?”

“You investigate criminals. Organized crime bosses. Sex traffickers. People running guns. Pedophiles and murderers.”

“I do more than investigate.”

I press his hand to my heart. “I know there are people with so much power that charges never stick, no matter how much evidence you find. I know there are monsters who need someone like you to stop them.”

“I’ve killed. Many times. I need you to know that I would end myself before I ever hurt you.”

“Do you like to kill people?” I know the answer, but I want to give him the opportunity to say it.

“Does it matter?” He asks in evident exasperation.

“It matters.”

“No. I don’t like it. I kill when it’s necessary to save lives or stop atrocities. I’ve never killed anyone because Iwantedto.”

“Then you’re still one of the good guys.”

He closes his eyes. “You need that from me. For me to be a hero.”

It wasn’t a question, but I answer anyway. “No. I don’t need you to be perfect, and I sure don’t want you living your life for everyone but yourself. As long as you’re trying to do the right thing, that’s all I care about.”

“Are you afraid of me now?”

“No.” I try to smile, but my heart hurts for him. “I already knew.”

I guide his hand to my throat. “Feel. I’m not afraid.”

Henry’s thumb skates over my steady pulse. His fingers tighten just enough that I know he’s holding me on his own now. Then he leans forward and presses his lips to mine, before pulling back and searching my eyes. “I’ll always try.”

---