Page 14 of Ardently Yours

The sheriff followed me around for a while and generally made life miserable. I thought I might end up having to call you, but I flashed your card at him, and he backed off after that. So even though I never reached out to you for help, you helped me anyway. You just didn’t know it. ;)

I'm glad he isn’t here. In case you think I mean I’d rather he was off making someone else’s life hell, I don’t. I think that the world would be better off if we found out he drove his car off a bridge.

I’m sorry if that makes me awful.

As for me, the life insurance policy allowed me to work part-time at the grocery store for Bronnie’s first year, but my sister offered me full-time hours at her diner, so now I work there.

I’m not a fan of waitressing, but I’m grateful for it because I don’t like digging into my savings too much for living expenses.That’s Bronnie’s money. Besides, it’s better to save some for emergencies.

I moved out of my parents’ house and am trying to be more self-sufficient. I am a mother, after all.

All my best, Charlotte

May 6, 1996

Dear Charlotte,

Thank you for the photo. She’s growing fast. It’s hard to believe Bronnie is over a year old already. She’s beautiful. You’re right: She does look a lot like Steve.

I’m glad to hear Polford isn’t living in Blackwater any longer. You’re a kind person to think about others, but remember someone with his proclivities could have put himself into a dangerous situation he didn’t walk away from. Try not to worry if you can.

If you ever need someone to talk to about anything, including Polford, I’m here. It’s not a platitude. I mean it.

The next time anyone attempts to question you, call me first. Do not answer their questions without a lawyer present. Don’t allow them to perform any searches without a warrant. You’re innocent of any and all wrongdoing, but innocent people get arrested, and even convicted, all the time.

I’m glad my card proved sufficient in the situation, but please don’t hesitate to reach out next time. You don’t have to handle everything alone. In a case like this, it’s much, much better if you don’t.

It sounds like you aren’t enjoying working at the diner. In a perfect world, if you could do anything you wanted to, what would it be?

I’m attaching a photo of my boys at Henry’s birthday party. He just turned five. His expression is a little somber because he was upset about the candles on his cake. He doesn’t like the idea of blowing germs on something everyone would eat. He has a point, I suppose. He was only at his party for about twenty minutes when he disappeared.

Eventually, after a full-blown incident where we tried to figure out if he was still in the house, I found him hiding under his bed. He says parties are “not fun,” and sent me a formal request written on notebook paper to “limit my fucher birthday selubrayshun to no more than 4 peepole.”

Arden

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May 7, 1996

Dear Arden,

That must have been nerve-wracking to not know what happened to Henry. I’m pretty sure if Bronnie disappeared, even for a short amount of time, I’d have a panic attack. Luckily for me, she’s so loud about everything she does, I’d hear her long before I lost her. She’s even noisy in her sleep.

I can relate to Henry, though. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all hide under our beds, sometimes, when the world gets too hard? Both boys are adorable and so was Henry’s note. I can almost hear his little voice saying the words. He must be really advanced for his age. I don’t know any five-year-olds who can read or write that well.

I like his bow tie. Did you choose that or did he?

Polford is an evil man. I realize your comment was nothing but guesswork. But if it turned out to be true that his own actions led him into danger, it couldn’t have happened to a more deserving person.

Your private investigator probably told you about the rumors about me and Polford. He met me through Steve and told me he was interviewing teens to find out how he could help the community. He guilted me into going there and planned the whole thing.

His wife caught him red-handed. I got away before he got my clothes all the way off because of her, but afterward she pretended she didn’t see anything. In my mind, that makes her as bad as he is.

After I told people what happened, Polford told everyone I was jealous and trying to destroy his marriage. Bianca stood by him, so it was my word against theirs. They said his blood under my fingernails only proved that I attacked him, not that he’d done anything to me. A lot of people still believe those lies.

I can’t pretend that I understand anything about how my brain works, but it’s gotten harder to talk about now than it was when it first happened. At that time, I felt like telling people about itwould wash it off my skin and soul. I thought if I could just get it out of me, maybe it wouldstayout, instead of living in my head and making me feel sick and afraid all the time.

I found out my mother has her own story with someone else. How is it that so many of us are expected to hide it like it’s OUR shame, instead of the person who did it?

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