Charlotte uses a knuckle to wipe away a tear and laughs.
The sound sears into my chest like it’s a tangible thing forging a path straight into my soul and filling every broken, empty place with light. I want to hear that laugh every day. I want to hold her in my arms and taste it on my tongue. Without planning to do so, I take a step toward her, no longer hidden from view.
Charlotte lifts her head and glances my way. The moment her eyes meet mine, she freezes solid, every bit of nervous energy she’s been showing, suddenly trapped in stasis. Waiting . . . waiting.
She jumps to her feet with a smile. I shouldn’t be here at all, but if she wants me—
“Maggie Miller? I thought I recognized you! Is something wrong with Bob?”
Charlotte jolts, then turns startled eyes to the middle-aged white woman dressed in maroon scrubs who has barreled her way into the waiting room. The woman’s short wispy hair is dyed a startling matte black, and her sharp eyes rake over both Charlotte and her mother in rampant curiosity.
Charlotte’s blue gaze burns all the way to my soul when she looks my way, the line of her throat moving with a swallow ofagitation. I can see the argument going on inside her head as she weighs what she wants against her fear.
I’m here, Charlotte.
Reese put my feelings for her into words and made me face them. But she's safe, secure, and content with the life she has.
Knowing it doesn’t mean I can stop wanting her. No more than I can will my heart to stop beating.
I shouldn't have put her at risk of exposure this way, but the ball is in her court now. Acknowledge me or turn away.
I’m a selfish man. The words pounding in my head are proof of it.Choose me.
I step back, sit down, and look away, my chest tight as I wait for her to come to me or pretend I’m not here.
Can't Take My Eyes off You
The Emails
Same Day
October 15, 1997
Dear Arden,
I don’t have the words to tell you how much it meant to see you at the hospital. Not just for me, but to know you were there for Bronnie. If Frances Maynor had arrived twenty seconds later, she’d have seen me with my arms around you smacking kisses all over your beautiful bearded face. (The beard and flannel was a nice touch, btw.)
I was so close to throwing caution to the wind, but I have more than just me to worry about. I know you understand. The disguise and the way you kept your distance was proof enoughof that. I'm so grateful to have you in my life, even if we are unorthodox.
Knowing others rely on me was the only thing that could have stopped me. Looking away from you physically hurt. The memory of it still does.
Bronnie’s surgery went well, just like you said it would. She’s groggy, and I had to give her Children’s Tylenol, but she should be back to herself in a day or two.
She loves the stuffed hedgehog you gave her. She named it Ardy, lol. I hope that doesn’t offend you, because it cracks me up.
The flowers are stunning. My whole place smells amazing, and I smile every time I see them. During the day I put them on the kitchen table. At night, I carry them into my bedroom and put them on the bedside table.
This is NOT permission to start sending me fresh flowers all the time. (I know how you are.) Just between us, though, I love the way you try to spoil us.
Your scarf stopped smelling like you a long time ago. I’ve forgotten the scent of you. I wish I could remember.
Wistfully Yours, Charlotte
Same Day
October 15, 1997
Sweet Charlotte,