Page 88 of The Hotel Room

James let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “No. I mean—really,reallystupid. I...I had another therapy session this week. And it finally hit me.”

Nick set his drink down, leaning in slightly. “Hit you how?”

James stared at the scarred wood of the table, the words thick and uncomfortable. But he forced them out.

“That night—the cheating—it wasn’t random. It wasn’t curiosity. I’ve been telling myself for months that I was just...trying to recapture what I missed out on by getting married so young. But it wasn’t about that.”

Nick stayed quiet.

James forced himself to look up, meeting his friend’s gaze.

“I didn’t cheat because I was curious, Nick. I cheated because I didn’t know who I was anymore. I thought maybe if I...if I could be someone different, just for a night, I’d feel more like myself. Except it wasn’t freedom. It wasn’t...anything. It felt rotten, and I hated every second of it. I hatedmyselfas it was happening.”

Nick’s face didn’t change, but there was a flicker of something—an edge of tension around his jaw.

James shook his head, voice thick with self-disgust.

“Kate gave meeverything. Her trust, her love, our family—and I still threw it away because I was too much of a coward to face the fact that I was lost.”

The words felt like they scraped raw on the way out. But they were true. And James was done lying to himself.

Nick finally set his beer down, eyes narrowing as he folded his arms across his chest.

“Youarean idiot.”

James blinked. “I know.”

Nick shook his head, voice sharper now. “No, listen to me. You’re an idiot because you had the thing most people spend their whole damn lives trying to find. And you almost threw it away for what? Some half-assed fantasy? Some stupid idea you got from watchingme? Jesus, James. Do you even know how lucky you are?”

James blinked, caught off guard.

“Nick, you’re the one who—”

“Shut up.” Nick’s voice was tight. “Yeah, I talk about the hookups. The apps. The whole...‘no strings attached’ thing. But you know why I do that?”

James shook his head slowly.

Nick’s expression shifted, something more vulnerable pushing through the sarcasm he always wore like armor.

“Because I’m jealous ofyou. Of what you have with Kate. I tell those stories because I don’t want you—hell, I don’t wantanyone—pitying me for being alone. But the truth? I don’t even know how to start looking for what you found. I’ve never had anything evencloseto what you and Kate built together. And the fact that you risked that for something so meaningless?” He shook his head, voice low and rough. “It pisses me off, man.”

James’s stomach twisted painfully.

He knew Nick cared. Knew he was loyal. But hearing it—hearing the quiet pain behind his words—made James’s chest ache.

“I didn’t see it then,” James admitted quietly. “I do now. I was a fool, Nick. And I’m trying—really trying—to make it right. But I won’t blame you for what I did. That was all me.”

Nick nodded, exhaling hard. But the tension hadn’t left his posture.

There was a beat of silence. Then—

Nick pointed his beer at him, his voice dead serious.

“If youeverdo something that stupid again, I swear to God, I will personally make you pay for it.”

James felt his throat tighten, the weight of that threat not feeling like a threat at all.

It felt like love. Like someone who had watched him crumble and was still here, still holding him accountable.

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