Page 97 of The Hotel Room

When he set the steaming mug in front of her, he didn’t expect her to speak.

“I used to think it was special,” she said softly, her voice catching him off guard.

James froze for a moment, his hand lingering on the edge of the table. “What was?”

Kate didn’t look at him, her fingers tracing slow circles along the edge of the mug.

“That we’d only ever been with each other,” she said, her voice quiet but steady. “It felt...sacred. Like it was this thing that set us apart. Like it made what we had stronger.”

James felt his stomach twist, the familiar wave of self-loathing rising hard and fast.

“I thought so too,” he said hoarsely, his throat tight. “I swear I did, Kate.”

Her gaze lifted to his then, sharp and full of pain.

“Did you?” she asked, her voice trembling now. “Because if it felt that way to you, then how could you...how could you throw it away so easily?”

He swallowed hard, his chest aching as he pulled out the chair across from her and sat down.

“I let myself believe...stupid things,” he admitted, his voice rough. “That I was missing out. That I’d never figured out who I really was outside of us. It was never about us. It was about me. My own selfishness. My own insecurity.”

She blinked, her lips trembling as she tried to hold herself steady.

“You said you felt trapped,” she said softly. “I thought what we had was beautiful, James. That it was something we built together. And you...you thought of it as something that held you back?”

“No.” His voice cracked, and he reached across the table, his hand stopping short of hers. “Kate, no. That’s not how I feel. I didn’t understand it then. But I do now.”

She didn’t respond, her gaze dropping back to the mug, her hands gripping it tightly.

James exhaled shakily, the words spilling out before he could stop them.

“I’ve been working on this in therapy,” he said quietly. “Trying to figure out why I got so turned around in my head. I let myself believe that being a husband, being a dad—that those things were just surface roles. That they weren’t...me. But I was wrong, Kate. God, I was so wrong.”

Her eyes lifted to his, shimmering with unshed tears, but she didn’t speak.

James swallowed hard, his chest tightening as he forced himself to continue.

“Thatiswho I am. Your husband. That’s me. That’s my core. And I hate—God, Ihate—that it took me this long to see it. I hate that I hurt you to figure it out. I hate that I destroyed something so beautiful, so sacred, just because I was too stupid to see what was right in front of me. I love you, Kate.”

Her tears spilled over then, her lips quivering as she whispered, “Say it again.”

He leaned forward, his hand finally brushing hers, his voice raw.

“I love you,” he said, the words heavy with emotion. “I love you so much, Kate. More than I can put into words. You’re my heart. My home. I’ll never stop hating myself for what I did. There’s this...this stain inside me now, something I can’t undo. Something I’ll carry forever.”

She let out a soft, broken sound, her fingers tightening around the mug as her tears fell freely.

James felt his own eyes burn, his throat tightening as he continued.

“But I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make it right. Whether you forgive me or not, whether we’re together or not—I’ll never stop trying to make this right. I’ll protect you, Kate. I’ll protect you and this family for as long as I live.”

Her shoulders shook, her breath hitching as the weight of his words hung in the air.

For a long moment, she didn’t respond.

Then she let out a trembling breath, her voice barely audible.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” she whispered. “Not yet.”

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