I was so shaken by the news about the changes that would soon happen in my life that I ended up forgetting to ask for permission to set up a private dance studio at home.
Now, if the Greek businessman really becomes my guardian, I will have to talk to him about it.
Dealing with a stranger, whose personality I have no idea of, and more than that, asking him for a favor, leaves me terrified.
And to make matters worse, Mr. Van Lith said that, for now, the news about my change of guardianship is confidential. Not even JeAnne can know. It has to do with the sale of the shares. It was a demand from Mr. Ares.
I don't like lying to JeAnne. Of course, I don't tell her every thought I have. All people keep secrets, even those who live a dull existence like mine. However, in this case, it is different. She knows and respects Mr. Van Lith. As for Mr. Kostanidis, we have no idea who he is. I have no doubt that when she finds out about the change, she will be worried.
I enter the dance studio, which is still empty at this hour, and look at myself reflected in all the mirrors simultaneously. It's the only thing I don't like about this school. I feel overwhelmed by so many reflections of myself.
I spent thirteen years in boarding school, and when I see my image, I feel as if I have suddenly grown up. One day I was a little girl, the next, an adult.
In high school in Germany, every hour was like the next. I couldn't sense the passage of time. My entertainment consisted of dancing and reading.
And the dreams,a voice reminds me.
I had a lot of dreams about life here in New Orleans before I moved to boarding school. They were strange, confusing dreams, full of people with unclear faces.
I don't remember any special moments with my parents. I don't remember anything, to be honest. I am a hollow, a shell filled with the present. That's why I compulsively dedicate myself to dancing. Dancing brings me comfort and purpose. It's lucky that I'm good at the profession I chose.
No, it isn’t luck,I correct myself. It’s much more.
My teacher is one of the most talented dancers of all time: Debra Villatoro. Although her career was interrupted early, she is the owner of one of the most prestigious dance schools in the country. Every year, Madam Villatoro chooses a student to whom she dedicates herself exclusively, seven days a week, after regular classes. I had only been here for fifteen days when I was asked to audition.
I knew right away what that meant: she was considering me as a candidate for her undivided attention.
I'm insecure about a lot of things in life, but not about my dancing.
I was euphoric and could barely sleep the night before the final test.
I went to the theater where she had scheduled the next audition and found her with four other men, all teachers, too.
Before I started, JeAnne, who had gone with me to provide support, hugged me and said that regardless of the result,whether or not I was chosen to be trained by Madam Villatoro, it wouldn't make me a worse or better dancer. I thanked her but said I didn't want to hear those words.
For me, winning and being the best is non-negotiable.
I have no other goal in life other than ballet. I dedicate myself one hundred percent to it and accept nothing less than being excellent at what I do.
It was the second time I performed for them. The first, two days before, took place at the dance school, where they asked me to perform the classic movements: barre, center, diagonal, and on pointe.
The second performance, at the theater, was a solo, a short excerpt from the classic “The Nutcracker”. I only had to look at Madam Villatoro's face at the end to know that I had succeeded.
I smile, remembering when I had confirmation that I was herchosen one.
I am taking steps towards realizing my dreams.
I will no longer simply exist. I'm going to live. Travel and be acclaimed by the public. Transform myself into who I was made to be.
"Daydreaming, my sweet Serenity?" Madam Villatoro asks on one of the rare occasions when she seems relaxed.
I was so distracted that I didn't realize she had entered the room.
"Aimingawake," I joke. "Dreams can come true or not, but for me, there is only one option."
One month later
"It's done, Miss Blanchet."