Page 60 of Merlot Marriage

“Again, that’s not exactly new, is it?”

“I suppose not. But I think I’ve really done it this time.” The bench is hot enough to burn the back of my legs as I sit, but I ignore it in favor of getting advice with minimal fuss.

Clearing my throat, I get the worst shock over with first. “So, for starters, you should know that Ophelia and I kind of got married.”

“Kind of married? You’re either married or you’re not, boetie.”

“We got all-the-way, legally married.” I choke back a laugh. Trust Jono to give me shit, even when I’m feeling low.

“Well, congratulations. Or is that the mistake? I thought Ophelia was great? She’s been awesome every time I’ve talked to her.” Paper rustles in the background, and Jono calls out something to someone I can’t make out. “I assume you’re staying in the States, then?”

“For now. But we had a bit of a…I don’t want to say fight. More like, she told me something I didn’t want to hear, and I think I may have overreacted.” I outline the conversation and how it had gone from both of us accidentally spilling the beans to me storming out after being blindsided by the news of her job offer.

There’s a long scratch in the plastic material of the bench, the rough edge of it distracting me from my frayed feelings as I run my finger over it.

“What were you really upset about, then? People figuring out your not-very-well-kept secret? Or Ophie getting a job offerwhen you haven’t? Or am I missing something?” It’s annoying how quickly my brother can lay out all the reasons I feel like crap.

“What if she takes the job and leaves me behind?” The fear that she’ll leave me adrift makes my well-thought-out argument sound more like a whine.

“Is that a real question?”

Hiking one foot up onto the bench, I lean my elbow against my knee so I can mope more easily. “Maybe.”

“God, you’re an idiot sometimes.” Jono snorts into the phone. “Did you or did you not get married?”

“Yes.” A squirrel runs along the branch of a tree across the patch of grass, holding something in his teeth. Even the wildlife has a job, unlike me. Right, maybe Jono has a bit of a point.

“And you’re not taking the job here because you don’t want to leave Ophie, right?”

“Right.” The squirrel stops to stare at me. Judging me.

Jono sighs into the phone. A familiar sound. “And she hasn’t actually taken the job yet, as shejustgot the offer. And immediately told you?”

Right. It appears I have, in fact, overreacted. “I see where you’re going with this. I’m not prepared to say you’re right, but I can’t argue that you’re wrong.”

“Didn’t those vows mean that you guys were going to figure it out together? Wasn’t there some line in there about ‘hard times and good’?”

“Actually, I think it was ‘I promise never to step on your blue suede shoes,’ but I get the point you’re making.”

“So figure it out together.”

“Figure what out?”

“Life, you dummy.”

I don’t need a video to know that Jono is shaking his head and rolling his eyes at me right now.

“Do you think I just decided one day to move to Australia? Nicola and I talked it out. With words. We made a freaking spreadsheet. Like adults. Because adults make decisions that way. Especially married ones. Now quit being an idiot, go apologize, and talk it out with yourwife.”

“God, you’re bossy.” I give him the middle finger, not that he can see it, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

“And Flippy?”

I pull the phone back to my ear. “Yeah?”

“Tell Ophie congrats from us. And that I’m sorry I inherited all the good genes and left you with all the idiot ones.”

Ophie

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