Page 31 of Dreaming of Darkness

I huffed a short laugh, “I mean, no. But, God, I just…” My frustration peaked and I knew that he must think I was crazy. “I’m not perfect.”

“I’m not either,” Traum said simply, still watching me with dark eyes.

I sniffled, “But you are, you are beautiful, you are insane in bed, you dance, you flirt, you are even fun to shop with. Everything I’ve seen about you is perfect.”

“Is that, perhaps, because you want to see me as perfect? Because you know, just as much as I do, that we were made for each other. And this fated mates business, as you called it above, is merely an excuse to finally take what you really wanted?”

I stared at him, emotions still running high. “I don’t know. But Traum, you have to know something. You need to know them before you say things like that. Permanent things.”

Traum came into the room, sitting on the small armchair, which he immediately made look like a kids toy. “I’m all ears, darling.”

I drew in a long breath, “I hate mornings, I bite my nails when I’m nervous, I get angry when I don’t know how to do something and I’m a horrible driver.”

Traum remained silent, so I pushed on. “I burn everything I bake. I get lost in my own neighborhood. I’m a selfish friend and partner. And I don't know how to be in a family.”

Silence followed again, broken only by the sound of my ragged intakes of breath. Finally, Traum cleared his throat. “That’s it?”

“Uh,” I sniffled, “That’s all I can think of right now.”

“Come here,” Traum commanded from his seat. I didn’t move. I was suddenly terrified to move. Because what had I just done? I had just come completely unglued after a beautiful night together. I had ruined it.

I was ruined.

“Fine, I’ll come there then. I was only suggesting the chair because your feet have to be sore.” Traum pushed up, coming to stand in front of me. His hands slipped into my hair and with a soft tug he pulled my head back, so our eyes met.

“I have one more thing to add to your list.”

I swallowed, “Okay.”

“You are, without a doubt, terrified to fall in love with anyone,” Traum said, his dark eyes burning into mine. “Which, while a small hurdle, also thrills me to my core.”

“What? Why?”

“Because this panic you’re feeling, it means that you are falling for me.” His smile was bright and full of teeth. “And that, little dream, I can work with.”

I reached up to grip his wrists as he held my head. “I’ve never been with anyone like this, and you are so…”

“I’m a lot,” Traum said with a shrug, “But if you’re hoping I will apologize, I won’t. What we have is something my kind kills for.And while I can never predict what I would’ve done without the bond driving us together, I will tell you this.”

He waited until the single tear that had been gathering streaked down my cheek. “You are kinder and funnier than you think you are. I love the way you smell. I love the way you dance. I have a hundred questions to ask you and I hope we get to spend the rest of our lives answering them. Because I don’t know everything. I know enough.”

I could actually feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears.

“And I will wait, for as long as it takes, for you to understand that. Three dates or three hundred, I will wait until you are just as sure as I am that we are meant to be together.”

“But the coins?”

Traum shrugged, “I know a demon who owes me.”

I laughed, surprised. “Okay.”

His hands gentle on my scalp and he leans down to drop a kiss on my mouth. “No pressure, little dream.”

“No pressure,” I echoed. My chest and mind were already lighter. “How long until you have to go home?”

Traum glanced around, “Soon I’m afraid. I probably have time for one more dance though.”

My heart physically ached at his words. At the goodbye behind them. “I’d love that.”

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