Page 85 of Guardian

ChapterTwenty-Nine

KATERINA ELI

For once, it wasn’therwho pestered my mind like a thorn. But me. I was driving myself insane.

After Lorenzo’s confrontation about the not-so-empty jars, I realized some of my memories were gone. There were small gaps, completely blank. I didn’t remember what happened after he’d left. How I’d fallen asleep for the past week leading to the Christmas Ball. Or how I’d end up in some places. Not even the little girl that popped out of nowhere.

Or was it from somewhere?

Shewas silent for once.

The little girl loomed in every reflection I turned to. The mirrors. Bathtub and toilet seats. On top of the briefcase hidden in my closet. She was everywhere. Did the house actually have ghosts that none of the guys noticed?

Maybe. But that didn’t explain why she looked eerily like me.

Was she an entity likeher?Was she a part of me that had been erased by the medication? Or was she a new existence from that thing that jabbed beneath my chest?

When exactly did she start appearing? The more I searched for the exact moment, the more distant the memory grew. As if she didn’t want me to know. But she didn’t use her force likeshedid. The little girl knew this was my body, and she was a brief presence.

The thought wouldn’t be as unsettling if she wasn’t staring back at me from the piano’s reflection.

“What the fuck,” I whispered to myself. The tailors —and Alek with a sly grin— caught that.

He stepped off the platform when the tailors finished. Once we were left alone, I exhaled a breath of relief as guardian mode dissolved.

He’d requested me instead of Tristan for the visit, and I kept my mask as still as possible. But damn, was it hard. We were alone so often now that I had forgotten we were employee and employer.

We’d become so much more since my first day. The thought made me smile.

“What are you smiling about?” He asked lowly as he walked to me.

The deep, plum velvet suit was perfectly tailored to complement his broad shoulders and lean body. An ivory tie decorated his collar, shades of yellow hinting at the edges as the afternoon light shined on it. The handkerchief in his breast pocket glinted the same color.

“Nothing.”

My feet dangled in the air as he twirled us, our lips meeting in a soft kiss.

“Careful,” I muttered as I broke apart and wrapped my legs around his waist. “If Ms. Hoko notices a single wrinkle on your outfit tonight, she’ll kill you with her bare hands.”

“Hands that have become frail through the years of sewing and designing for countless events,” Alek said as his large hands gripped my thighs, closing any leftover distance. Why hadn’t I noticed how sexy they were? I wanted them all over me. “But it’s a risk I’m willing to take to taste you.”

He plunged forward, his plump lips ravaging mine without warning. His kisses grew hungrier each time, and I reciprocated tenfold. How could I not when the same hunger was becoming harder to calm down? It was as if he was my calling, and I settled by molding into him. My body remembered every nook of his like it was the back of my hand.

My tongue rolled and searched, no fangs meeting me. Disappointment weighed down my chest. I trailed my fingers into his hair and pulled, earning me a groan. That sound alone was enough to tip me over the edge.

“Alek,” I moaned. “If we continue, your clothes will be ripped off, and you won’t make it to the Ball.”

“I don’t mind,” he panted, his eyes shimmering. It squeezed my heart, equally warming and breaking.

I hadn’t been able to tell him about my leave tomorrow. Not even Lorenzo orders to keep me away from the Ball. At first, I was going to go against his words after finding out his backstabbing. But I rationally considered my cousin's words. Even if he was the assailant, he was still right. Lace would say the same. If I went to the Ball in this state —withherstate haunting and simmering— I couldn’t promise anyone’s safety.

Not even my own.

And if I went against Lorenzo’s logic, I’d be no better than him.

That’s why I stuck to acting like everything was fine. Normal. As if I was sticking to Alek’s plan. Once I retrieve the notebook, though, it’d change. I’ll give it to Tristan and send him off by convincing him that I can get to Lorenzo without suspicion. I’ll find my cousin. I’ll get the answers that I so desperately needed. I’ll even be ready to get back to the CEG and become a guinea pig again. Not.

The thought of meeting with doctors pricked my skin. They were made of shit, just like their supposed advice. It never changed: to get better, I needed to want it. And I did— but they didn’t understand it was my body that didn’t want to.

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