Page 14 of The Kraken's Queen

My lack of response doesn’t go unnoticed. Danika seems to realize I’m not going to respond and turns her attention back to Allarick. “Tetria is in good hands, my king. Waters are calm for now. When will you be returning?”

“Soon.” Allarick’s answer unsettles me. How soon? What happens when he goes home? Do I go with him? Stay at the house? There’s still so much that needs to be discussed, and it’s my fault we haven’t been able to getinto the details of the contract. I’m nervous about making any more decisions right now.

“Thank you for coming. We will take our leave now. Please inform Delmare to check in with me at his earliest convenience,” Allarick instructs.

Danika and the other mermaids say their goodbyes and dip back into the ocean. Blue, orange-red, black, and pink tails all swish in unison. I track them as they swim farther and farther away until I can no longer make out their colors.

Allarick and I are alone once again.

Despite my hesitance, I’m still in awe over what I just experienced. Straight out of a whimsical fantasy novel my mother used to read to me before bed when I was little. If she could only see me now…

“Thank you.” The words are barely more than a whisper and “thank” sounds more like “ank.”It doesn’t begin to cover my feelings about the surreal experience, but he needs to know that I appreciated his efforts to show me his world little by little.

“You’re welcome, Erin. There’s nothing to fear in the water. You’ll be safe there when the time comes,” Allarick says.

For a moment, I allow myself to forget about the practicality of me living in the water and my ability to trust the wrong types of men. I think about safety and freedom. What would it be like to not have to constantly look over my shoulder or hope today won’t be the day he takes it too far?

I would kill for that feeling.

All too soon, the feeling vanishes when Allarickreaches out for me. Flashbacks of violent hands on my body flash in my mind, and I jerk away from him, scampering back. There’s no longer Allarick. Only James.

Only pain. Hands on my body. Hurting me. I beg him to stop. I plead. He doesn’t listen. Only grows angrier. Calls me weak. Calls me pathetic. I’m reduced to pain and tears.

Then my nightmares overtake me.

Chapter 10

Erin

My heart races out of my chest. The world around me begins to spin, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t catch my breath. My body trembles, unsure how to hold in these big emotions whirling inside of me.

I’ve had panic attacks before, but I usually have clues before they start. Sweating palms. Snappy moods. Even a buildup of anxiety. This one came over me suddenly. All I see is James. All I feel is James. I’m no longer in Mescos but back in Grym Hollow.

Tears blur my vision, and I think I’m screaming.

What if I’m not rid of James?

What if I’ll only know pain and lies?

What if…

What if…

Hands rub up and down my shoulder. Soft words I barely hear.

“You’re okay. I’m here. It’s okay.” The words repeat over and over again, but they aren’t calming me down. Ithink I cry harder even, though I try to stop. I’m just a fuck-up. If I were different, maybe James would have loved me. Maybe Allarick would get a strong queen.

Maybe…

Maybe…

My body is pulled forward. Gentle hands lead me. If it weren’t for those same hands holding me up, I would be little more than a puddle on the ground.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I hiccup, chanting the words over and over again because Allarick needs to know that this isn’t the woman I want to be. This isn’t a woman who has the capabilities to lead an underwater kingdom. James told me repeatedly how worthless and stupid I was. I’m starting to fear that maybe he’s right.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he repeats. Allarick is still moving me, but I’m so disoriented, I can’t tell where he’s taking me. Not until I feel my feet submerged in warm water. It’s enough of a shock to give me a moment of clarity.

“What—”

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