Page 4 of Christmas Promises

“How could you do that? To me or her?” Laney asked.

“I was just trying to get through the wedding.”

“Get through the wedding.” She narrowed her eyes. “Wouldn’t it have been easier to call it off than have to get divorced afterward? My mom’s right. You’re a coward.”

He flinched. “I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“Well, guess what? You’ve failed.” Laney looked at him through blurry vision. “Did you switch the phones on purpose, so I’d find out? Because you were too chicken to tell me the truth?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” He ran his fingers over the top of his closely cropped brown hair. A thing he did when he was nervous or anxious. She’d always found it endearing.

Not so much at the moment.

Anger rose to the surface, pushing aside her grief. “What is it about her that’s so much better than me?”

“It’s not like that. There’s no one better than you. You’re practically a saint.”

She drew in a deep breath to keep from striking him. Who would have guessed she had a violent streak in her? “Practically a saint? Is that the problem then? I make you feel bad about yourself?” As soon as she said it, she realized it was true. His sheepish expression told her everything she needed to know. Her innate personality made him dislike himself. “My God, Josh. Why would you marry me then? Why would you marry someone you despise?”

“I don’t despise you. Not at all.” He bowed his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That’s the thing. I admire you. Your intelligence. Your kindness and compassion. Like I said, you’re the best person I know.”

“All of which equals what?” She peered at him, taking in his even features and long-lashed brown eyes. He had his hair slicked back for the occasion and had shaved off his stubble. Stubble he’s started wearing about six months ago. Right after the dinner Laney had had to skip because she was home with food poisoning. She vowed to give up chicken right then and there. If it hadn’t been for bad chicken, she might not be in the middle of the most devastating day of her life.

Josh splayed his hands over his knees, leaning over slightly, as if his stomach hurt. “I’m not sure. I guess I haven’t felt good enough for you. After spending time with Dahlia, it became obvious to me that you don’t bring out my best self.”

She gaped at him. “We’ve been together for two years. When exactly did you figure that out?”

“I’ve tried to tell you. Dozens of times. But the thought of hurting you stopped me. I didn’t know how to hurt such a good person. Someone who didn’t deserve this.”

“So, you left your phone for me to discover it on my own?”

“Yeah. I guess I did.”

“You’re doing a lot of guessing today.” How could any of this be happening? Her whole life had just blown up. Nothing would ever be the same. And all he could do was shake his head and look helpless? “At least own up to what you’ve done. How you’ve treated me. I wouldn’t do this to my worst enemy.”

He apologized again.

“How could you do this to the woman you supposedly love? Not me, but Dahlia. As in, how could you not make a decision—at least for Dahlia. Putting her through the last few days? That’s the sign of a true coward. Do you know that?” She narrowed her eyes, seeing him for what he truly was. An indecisive little boy. A liar. A cheater.

“Dahlia’s torn up about all of this, trust me,” Josh said.

She flashed back to the day she’d met him. They’d been seated at the same charity function dinner. Her father had been out of town, so she’d agreed to go as her mother’s plus-one.

What had Laney thought about him that night?

He wouldn’t make eye contact with her, even though they’d talked for much of the evening. She’d thought it was shyness, as she often felt herself. But no, it was something else. Now she could see it all as it truly was. He was playing a part. They were the perfect young couple. From similar backgrounds and wealth. Their parents ran in the same circles. The very same circles that were now getting into their cars to go home. God, the reactions and speculation might break the phone company with all the texts being sent back and forth. Her mother was right. This would be lunch gossip for months. Once another scandal happened, they would move on to that but for now, she and Josh were the “it” couple everyone would be talking about. All for the wrong reasons.

Had his heart ever been in this, or had he simply gotten carried away with their suitability? At least on paper they seemed the perfect match. Until he’d taken up with her best friend.

“What can I do?” Josh asked.

“Just get out.”

“Yeah. Okay. About the honeymoon—everything’s been paid for. You know, by my parents.”

“What’s your point?” An all-paid two-week honeymoon in Paris had been Josh’s parents’ wedding gift. She’d been looking forward to it so much the last few weeks as she worked fourteen-hour days to finish up with her clients. Former clients. She’d helped them to find new freelance marketing managers so as not to leave them in the lurch when she moved to Boston to live with Josh.

Now she would have to rebuild her business. She’d loved the clients she had, all of them small business owners who hired her to manage their marketing. What an idiot. Trusting this man with her heart? Trusting Dahlia too, for that matter.

---