Page 74 of Covert Desires

I can’t.

No more.

Digging my fingers deeper into the earth as if it can find me strength, I find the single word I’ve stored in my mind.

“D-dolphins!” I mutter my safe word, and Kiah stops immediately, dropping my cock without hesitation.

Slowly, careful not to hurt me, she pulls her pegging dildo out.

Like a discarded rag doll, I collapse onto the forest floor, crying, my body ablaze with overstimulation.

As she sits on the cold ground beside me, Kiah takes off her mask and sets it beside her. Carefully, she unties the ropes and pulls my body against hers, onto her lap, with those strong arms of hers.

I can’t stop crying, but for once, I don’t feel ashamed about it. Kiah just tugs me closer, enveloping me with her warmth, her essence, as the flood of emotions consumes me.

“It’s all over now,” the innkeeper says, her voice soft and soothing as she strokes my hair. “You did so well, baby. So well,” she praises, and I curl up in a little ball, still unable to open my eyes.

Such simple words, yet I’ve come to crave them from her more than oxygen.

My Queen kisses my forehead, pressing her head to mine. “I’ve got you, Nico. You’re safe.”

I believe her.

I’m a dirty, broken, freezing mess, but none of that matters. All that matters is that Kiah is here, by my side, holding me.

She doesn't make me feel like I'm weird for wanting what I want; she lets me explore my desires, my curiosities, my needs. Within bounds, of course. But without shame.

The structure of our dynamic calms my mind. I know what's expected of me, how to be. I don't have to calculate a response. She's trained me in what she needs. I can just let go and be.

No matter how imperfect, I want her to have every part of me.

Everything I do is in service to her, the great Goddess who nursed me back to life when she could've left me for dead, who killed for me, sacrificed for me, who took a gamble on me.

When Kiah’s around, I don't feel lost. I'm not just darting my eyes around the room, trying to identify threats. Her scent, her warmth, it grounds me in the present.

She is as much mine as I am hers, and I will break anyone's neck if they even look at her funny.

But she doesn't need me to fight her battles. I've never met anyone Kiah can't take out. Maybe that's why I feel safe, in a literal sense too. I know she'd kick anyone's ass if they tried to fuck with me.

It's just us now.

Us against the world.

And I'm the luckiest fucking Don alive.

Somewhere, a coyote calls into the night, but I’m no longer scared.

I amhome.

Chapter twenty-two

Mine

(Kiah)

IonceaskedNicowhere the darkness in his mind came from. He said it had always been there, that he’d spent his life trying to hide it, pretending to be normal.

I don’t want him to pretend with me. I want to own all parts of him, even the dark parts, the ugly parts, the broken ones.

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