Page 75 of Covert Desires

If I’ve learned anything about Nico, it’s that sometimes he just needs a bit of punishment to feel okay. To rebalance. To soothe the chaos.

Who could blame him? Not when you hear the fucked-up tales of his past. Whenever I think this is it, it can’t get any worse, he shares another twisted memory.

I wish his mother were alive just so I can kill her again.

That bitch.

It’s her fault he has those nightmares; her fault the forest haunts him.

But nobody gets to fuck with his mind but me—never again. I have it in writing, in our contract, in black and white.

The contract also includes a long list of things my darling brat is curious about. Some were more of a surprise to me than others.

When Nico first approached me with the idea of a consensual non-consent scene, I was hesitant.

CNC is not something I’ve ever considered, and what little I’ve seen of it online looked abusive as fuck.

But the more we spoke about it and researched safe practices, the more I realized it could be cathartic for both of us.

Not only that, but I also found myself aroused by the idea, lying awake at night wondering what it would feel like tohuntNico, to claim him in a way he would never allow anyone else to do.

But I didn’t agree to the scene so I could overpower or hurt him. I did it because his mind craves it; because I want him to have peace from those restless nightmares that haunt his dreams.

It takes a lot of trust to do something like this with a partner, and the fact that Nico trusted me with it spoke volumes.

Letting himself be this vulnerable couldn’t have been easy for a man who grew up in a world where toxic masculinity was celebrated.

But he did it; he let me chase him through the forest like a piece of game—just like we rehearsed.

I was worried about the weather, that it would be too cold, that we should wait until another time, but we got lucky with the exceptionally warm temperatures.

Well,relativelywarm. It was still only 50 degrees out—killing Nico’s dream of having me chase him naked through the forest. Perhaps in summer, we can try a rematch…

Jesus fucking Christ.What a rush.

I didn’t think it would feel like that.

It felt good to take my power back, to be the hunter instead of the hunted.

As soon as that mask went on, I became a different person, a faceless hunter with a simple mission—to take what’s mine.

It was exhilarating!

I haven’t been that in touch with my primal instincts in a long time.

Even now, as I hold Nico’s bruised body against mine on the forest floor, my heart is still pumping pure adrenaline.

“You okay, baby?” I ask, kissing the tears from Nico’s dirty cheek.

“Yeah…” he manages his first word after nearly ten minutes of silence. I am prepared to sit here for hours if he needs it, even if we both freeze.

“Do you want space?”

He shakes his head; no.

I stroke his knotted hair. “Do you think you can walk?”

“I think so.” Nico’s voice is small, uncertain, and I help him up, leading us back from the forest’s shadows.

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