Page 20 of I See Red

Falling back into the pillows, I try to still my breath, a large exhale pushing from my lungs. Suddenly, I feel warmth at the head of my cock, still at half salute. I look down and find Ivy running her mouth all the way down my shaft, her tonguetwisting and twirling, becoming the towel I would usually reach for at this moment. Completely turned on by the sight, I can’t help but just stare and watch in silence. My erection begins to grow, encouraging her to continue. Her mouth moves deeper and faster, engulfing all of me deep in her throat; the sounds forming are what porn stars wish they could create. Her saliva begins dripping down my shaft, being sucked up with each rise of her lips. My sweet Ives deep throats with such precision. I feel the electricity begin, my legs tightening, my calves hardening as I come deep in her throat, my hand wrapping around her hair, pulling her deeper. She resists as I empty all of me into her once more.

“Fuuuck,” I groan.

Lifting her head up, shaking her hair from her face, her fingers brush across her swollen red-tinted lips, sweeping my sweet cream that was dripping down back into her mouth, swallowing it all as she speaks,“Heaven has no hold to the taste of hell, Amor.”

Jesus Fucking Christ, is she everything.

Fuck Tayden, what are you doing? Claim her, burn it all down.

“I’ve battled wars my entire life. I may have just created the one that finally kills me.”—Ivy

I stand here naked in front of the mirror, my body on full display and my soul fully exposed like never before. I’m grasping themarble countertop so hard my knuckles have whitened. Just moments ago, my legs laid here, opening myself to him for the first time. I catch myself in the mirror, watching as beaded tears slowly stream down my cheeks as I release a gasping breath so fierce, fighting the war behind my eyes. Fog forms on the mirror, expanding wider with each heated breath I release, as I fight to control my emotions.

“The water’s almost ready, Amor. Don’t keep me waiting,” he taunts from the bedroom.

I’m truly not sure why I am crying right now. Maybe it’s guilt over Liam, Red, or Anastasia? Maybe the pleasure of finally experiencing what I felt my heart was destined to have but never allowed myself to grasp. The thought of all the times we could have been together without betraying two people we love and didn’t. The years left wide open before we ever met them, to allow this, allow us. Freedom without betrayal. Although I must admit, our timing has never made it that easy, someone would have always been hurt regardless. We were written in the stars, not for this earth.Possibly, it’s the fear that this will ruin me forever, kill me even. Perhaps the fact it was everything I ever dreamed it would be and more, fucking euphoric. So many emotions run through my head when I do what I do best—lock it in, shut it down, and file it away. Taking my finger, I leave myself a message on the mirror that within seconds shall pass, just as my regret.

You are not evil.

Smearing the tears from my sweaty skin, I build myself up mentally in a stare-off with my worst enemy for a moment to draw strength, my enemy a direct reflection of myself. I am her, and she is me. Regardless of our actions, I won’t allow my guilt to take away from the pure bliss our bodies just created,the love and intertwinement our souls just weaved. Fuck was it everything I imagined and more. If only for this weekend, I deserve this happiness, and the rest of the world’s problems will not take this from me. Even if they are my own, they are simply for another day. I’m selfish, yes, and greedy as fuck, but he’s my best friend, my first love, my unspoken desire. They say don’t play with fire, and for years I could abide by those rules, but being burnt feels so fucking exhilarating.

“Coming, my love, there better be bubbles.” My words trail off as I push open the French doors leading into the bedroom. I stop, momentarily striking a pose in all the skin that is me, like my insecurities have all been washed away, and for a few moments, I am okay with myself. I want to ride this emotion as long as possible. For I know with every high, there is an even bigger low waiting just ahead. Self-sabotaging at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. He’s so beautiful. I know that’s an odd term for a man, but he truly fucking is. Sitting there, his chocolate eyes dig into the depths of my soul, his hand brushing through his hair as the water and bubbles slide down his forearm, trailing off as they reach his elbow.

The candles lit, the array of plants growing up from their pots trailing back down from the ceiling is truly a picture-perfect moment—one I wish I could capture.

“Look at you looking all Rico Suave, like the cover of a GQ magazine,” I state, my eyes developingthismoment into the film of my brain.

“Why don’t you climb in and make the picture worth a thousand more words,” he relishes.

Sliding into the majestic clawfoot tub, he grabs me by the waist, pulling me onto his lap. My legs slide down the sides of his thighs, forcing me to straddle him. Our breaths touching, our two souls admiring one another, getting acquainted. Reaching up, he pushes the golden strands from my face. Gliding his handback, cupping my cheek, his thumb trailing off my bottom lip, his eyes darken.

“I love you Ivy Sage Rutledge, I’ve loved you for most of my life, and I can’t imagine you ever not being a part of my world. Please don’t ever let that become of us.”

“Vulnerable looks good on you. I love you too, T; however, I don’t think the stars would allow that to ever be in our lifetime or the next. Somehow, we have the galaxies on our side. Unfortunately, I’m not sure it will bring us much luck though. Hope…. Hope it brings for certain, but star-crossed lovers never truly become one,” I reply, trying to avoid the seriousness of his gesture and emotional nakedness. I appreciate his attempt to feed my emotional and verbal needs, as I’ve requested all these years. Things between us have always had more of a sexual intertwinement in conversation.

Truth is, as much as I love his attempt at vulnerability, a very unfamiliar place for him, I have never done well with receiving them. I always wanted the man to say the right things and pull the grand gestures; however, accepting them, well, that’s a math problem I can’t solve, along with every other one that exists in the world. That’s why just like T, faceless fucks and unobtainable relations have been my go-to. They are easy, yet complicated. Pretending the world is your own hallmark movie for a night can bring one such peace, knowing damn well when you wake up, it will all be gone. But to have those few hours of sex and emotional conversations with a complete stranger you’ll never see again feeds something in me, something in him. I’ve never asked him why he is the way he is. I guess I always just assumed it was for the same reasons as I. Knowing you could have someone is better than having them, just as well as loving and fucking for a night brings more than doing it for a lifetime. Each time is a new story with the same ending. An ending you find comfort in—loss. A great pull and push, if you will, while allowing yourselfthe ability to never allow yourself to be truly seen or known, all while leaving room for a chase. Sure, this life has brought complications and unforeseen turns, cue Liam and Anastasia. I still find it so ironic how T and I both got into a relationship just a few days apart, even though we hadn’t spoken in a few years at that time. We truly are connected.And fucked.

“Look at you, being all rational and evasive,” he taunts, a smirk growing on his face as he latches onto the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. His cock hardens between my thighs as the water washes away my shame. Our mouths ravishing in one another, my hips forcing his dick to be cradled within my pussy. His body is so warm, yet his hands are so cold, causing my nipples to peak as he rubs them throughout my body, holding onto me like it’s the last time we will ever fuck, the last time we will ever be this connected. The water starts splashing in all directions escaping the tub, as I ride his cock with such passion and force. My hands pressing onto his chest, holding him pinned against the porcelain. My head drifts back, the weight of the water pulling on my hair, riding out the orgasm I feel building as his dick trusts into my gem, taunting it and teasing it. Suddenly, he stands, bringing me with him, our bodies cradled, perfectly forming into one another’s. Flipping me around, our bodies back into what water remains. My stomach folds over the side, my face almost flush with the floor as he opens me with his cock once more, thrusting into me from behind. His hand grabbing into the back of my hair, jerking my head up using it to thrust into me like there is no end, a chase for my orgasm.

“I don’t give a fuck about the stars or the galaxies; you are mine on this earth. I want you in the grass, against the trees, on the banks of the rivers, and in our home forever.”

“Then fucking claim me, T. Claim all of me now,” I gasp.

His words causing my back to curve even more, meeting him thrust for thrust as the oxygen leaves my lungs, fighting andclimbing away from my own climax until I lose all control. My release, elevating my moans three octaves, as I give into all that is my climax.

“Fuck,” I grunt.

“Yeah baby, come all over that cock, fucking release it because I’m never releasing you,” he taunts, his thrusts becoming more powerful with each moan I let escape. My hair tugged with such strength, my neck jolts back as he releases his sweet cream into me, filling me full. His body jerks with each shot leaving through the tip, my head feeling dislodged yet pain-free all at once. Pure fucking bliss.

“Well, I guess we need more water if you’re going to cleanse my body,” I joke, throwing what little water is left in the tub up in the air; by my calculation, it’s only about two inches.

“Agreed, but let’s relax for a bit. I feel we have so much to catch up on. Don’t you worry your pretty little head, Amor. I’ll wash every inch of your beautiful skin soon, baby.” Reaching behind, he turns the hot water on full blast as we sit facing one another, our legs mingling between each other and the warmth of the water. Fuck, the water feels so good. Especially since my body is starting to feel like a Mack truck hit it the more the adrenaline subsides. I am absolutely certain my ribs are bruised.

“So, how’s business? How’s Dallas?” I question, trying to small talk my nerves away. Tayden and I have had many conversations over the years but never face-to-face, much less naked in a tub together. The fuck else does one start with?

“Business is good. I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it, actually, but we haven’t really had the right moment since my arrival. I’ve been rather intertwined,” he jokes, his gaze shifting from me, his expression revealing his uncomfortability of my question, raising red flags, intriguing me.He’s been hiding something.

“How’s Liam? Is he enjoying his retirement from the architectural world?” he fires back, confirming my suspicions. He is hiding something. Something I will get the answer to by the end of this tub, but I’ll bite.Sacrifice the pawn to get a kingside space advantage.

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