Page 41 of I See Red

“He never chose me. Liam did, and Itoldyou I deserve to be fuckingloved. You just wouldn’t fucking let me have it.” Pulling the knife up, carving through her flesh like a turkey on Thanksgiving Day, I listen as her breath hollows out from her chest. She’s a fighter, I give her that; honestly, it would be offensive if she wasn’t, but I mean, she’s not immortal,for everyone within a body is capable of dying. It’s our only true weak spot as humans—our flesh—yet our most powerful strength. She forgot I knew her weakest point all along, and sometimes you must sacrifice the one for the many. This is the decision I knew I would be making since the moment I saw the way she looked at him that night. I think fear of what would happen to our company without her was all that ever stopped me. Fear of who I would become without her in my life.

“Now you have no choice,” I bite, pulling the serrated knife from her, sealing her fate with my bare hands as I watch her bleed out. This could have gone differently. Red spent her years studying and evaluating my moves, but what she never realized is that sometimes the grasshopper outgrows the master.

“I… I… I…” is all she can get out, her words merely gargles, her body limp within my arms.

“I…- I…- I…, come on, spit it out. You know you’re dying to get the last word—literally,” I coax, brushing her blonde hair from her cheek. My words intermixing with laughs as her last breaths exhilarate me. Freedom feels closer than ever. My taunts proving the control I have and always have had in this friendship.

“I… I lo, lov, love, y, yo, you.” Her words bubble with blood from her mouth, using up the last of her strength before her eyes roll back into her head, and in an instant, I am whole and the murderer of my best friend. Suddenly, it all hits me, and I am alone in my thoughts.

Fuck. What have I done? Where is Evalyn when I need her? Oh, that’s right. Fucking dead, just like fucking Red.

Where It All Began

“Everything is so messed up. I wish I could talk to the man who set my fate in stone. Sometimes, no matter how far you run or who you kill, you can’t help but love even the worst among the worst. Today, I miss him. Today, I wish I could call him. Today, I have no hate for him. Today, I need my dad. I’m pathetic. Fuck you, Dad.”

—Ivy

Tayden:Good morning, little flame. Nothing like driving to work in my second love, only to be reminded of my first when I touched my face sitting at my desk this morning after driving my present to work today.

Now it’s all I can think about, and I find myself flashing back to the image of you slidingdown that leather every time I place my hand anywhere close to my nose taking in your scent. I blame you for my cock being randomly hard at work today but don’t worry, I’ll punish you for it later. I love you……. All of you.

Tayden:I never heard back from you last night. Is everything okay? Meeting go well?

Tayden:Babe, it’s 10:00 A.M. Talk to me. I don’t know if you’re simply just busy or having a meltdown. For fuck’s sake, my mind is going in a million directions; just message me back. I’m worried about you. Did I upset you?

I’m awoken by the dinging of a phone going off relentlessly. Rolling over, I reach for it, the sun burning the cracks in my eyes as I stare up at the screen. I have way too many missed calls and certainly too many missed messages. Scrolling through, only one catches my eye. I suddenly feel sick as the memories of last night roll through my brain. It’s as if I’m seven, sitting in his room again, the toy pressed to my eyes as I flip the trigger, forcing the paper wheel to spin. The flashing images of Peter Pan, changing flick by flick with each click, my frustration growing bigger as the images move faster and faster at the will of my own hand. Except the images today are not that of the Lost Boys—No. They are painful images of me killing Red.

Tayden:What’s going on?

Tayden:I’m not sure what’s going on, but I never heard back after the car delivery last night. Is everything ok? I’m starting to fucking worry.

Tayden:God dammit, Ivy. Somebody better fucking reply to me now. I’m on my way!

My brain moving slowly, my ability to register my reality is fogged.Just as his last text rolls in, I snap out of my insanity.Fuck.My breaths grow frantic as I jump up, pacing around, thinking of what to do.Think Ivy, fucking think. What would Red do?The last thing I need is Tayden coming anywhere near here. I can’t, I can’t fucking… Ignoring the messages he sent to Red, I pull my phone to me, as I begin to type.

Ivy:Everything is fine. Don’t come. Seriously, you’re so dramatic, I swear. I’ve got one better. Meet me?

I’m so full of shit, everything isn’t fine. It’s all so far from fine. My head is pounding, and my memory is so foggy.I can only see pieces of what happened last night. They are like snippets with no beginning or end. It’s probably best I don’t, but I need to remember, I want to remember. Searching around, I see the mess of my reckoning. Empty champagne bottles are thrown everywhere, broken furniture, shattered glass. Switching from view to view, examining the loft; words laced in cursive on a nearby mirror catch my eye. Walking towards it, I squint in an effort to read the words swirled across the glass in red lipstick.

Checkmate Bitch

Suddenly, my feet fall out from under me, and I’m face down on the floor.

The hit to my head knocks sense into me, and I realize I slept at Red’s, but she isn’t here. Suddenly, it all comes crashing back, and I need to get the fuck out of here.

Do not look back. Get up and leave now. Go home, Ivy. Get your head straight. Fuck.

Fear haunts me, andI can only hope my passive-aggressive text throws him off from reality. I am not okay.

Tayden:You sure you don’t need me to come? Something seems off Ives.

Ivy:Seriously, T, all good. Meet me?

Tayden:What are you thinking?

I haven’t thought that far ahead. Now that he’s biting and his guard is coming down, I need to give him an address—and quickly. It hits me—the end started last night. Let’s end it for good today.It’s time.

Ivy:I’ll send the address.

---