Page 66 of I See Red

I feel my heartbeat starting to settle with the lack of objections; relief and sadness both flow through my veins as the preacher continues.

“What is true love? Well, it is love, but even more, it is a bond that is forever. It is never changing; true love is like a link between the root, the heart, and the soul of two people that keep them adjoined forever.”

I look up at the preacher, recognizing these words. Although they are neither mine nor hers, they are those of Ivy’s. I glance at Anastasia, wearing the biggest smile across her face, as fear overtakes mine, pure dread.Did she read the texts? Does she know?Surely not. She wouldn’t come all this way to call me out on our wedding day in front of everyone we hold dear. That’s not in her or how she operates; her father and family,yes, but not her. She would never embarrass herself this way. She tilts her head, squeezing my hands, and then it hits me. I wrote these words down a few years ago in my home office. I always had to clear Ivy and Red’s texts in fear of Anastasia ever seeing them, but thisone thingshe wrote I wanted toremember foreverand always have the ability to go back to it when I felt I needed to hear her words. Ivy always had a way with words when she wrote them out. Red’s ability was always in person. Anastasia must have found it and assumed I wrote it.

This is what happens when you live two different lives and love two different women in two different ways. They eventually collide, and your childhood crush turned lifelong lover’s words are read at your wedding at the request of your fiancé unbeknownst to her. Of all the business transactions I’ve made over the years, this is certainly the hardest one yet. I have made this a transaction for all the reasons I am marrying Anastasia, but I do love her, just not the kind I know and crave so desperately with my past.

I glance away into the crowd as the tears start to pull at my eyes, my body tenses, trying with everything in my power to keep it together. Anastasia will assume I am crying in happiness for my appreciation of her words, which they are not. Tears pour as I feel I am in mourning for a greater love. My worlds collide as I catch a glimpse of the back row. There she sits—Red. I’m not sure when she arrived, but relief settles in me as I see her long blonde hair cascading down this beautiful V-neck long-sleeve red dress that could take a man out.

She came; just breathe. You two will make it through this as well. You are more than lovers; you are best friends—forever and through.

The preacher’s words pull me back in. “It is not fazed by time or feeling; it cannot be altered by circumstance or distance. It is infinite. When you have that with someone, the energy flows continuously and feeds both involved in that bond together over and over as an infinite replenishment of love.”

I look back up to Ivy, shooting a half smile her way, watching her stand, raising a champagne glass to me accompanied with a nod, acknowledging and accepting the decision I have made before she walks away, the slit extending up her thigh, exposing her long soft legs that on any other day I’d prefer wrapped around my face before she is no longer in my line of sight, and in a second, my soul shatters the tears uncontrollably building, pleading for release. Turning back to Anastasia, the preacher continues withMi Amor’s words.

“True love is not something to barter, or an achievement, nor something you go after to obtain; it just happens. True love cannot be monetized in any form. It is its own existence within the universe. It is timeless, untamed, and unintentional. True love has no intent; it just is. It’s like a precious stone everyone always wants to find, but many never get to hold.”

Fuck, it’s so true but I fucking have, I know what that love feels like. The ache in you it creates. The holes it heals.

Off in the distance, the sweet purr of the 763 horsepower red vintage 959 Porsche I purchased for Red a few years back after we had started talking again. I’ll never forget the smile on her face when I surprised her with it. Ivy was never into materialistic things. Even as her wealth grew, she tended to always do more with it for others than for herself. Buying her that car was me doing for her what she would never do for herself. Like she did for me just a few months back. Even more, it was a part of me gifted to her. She’s never been into cars further than fucking in them, but she did appreciate all I loved about cars, and tried to love them in her own way.Fuck, she learned Formula One for me. She learned my business for me. She learnedmefor me; to always help me be a better version of myself.

I’m not sure what her showing up meant, but I find comfort in her short appearance.

“Anastasia, do you take Tayden to be your lawful wedded husband?”

“I do,” she replies.

“And Tayden, do you take Anastasia to be your lawful wedded wife?”

My throat dries as I try to speak the simplest of words.I do, say you do.

Suddenly, sounds of locked breaks, bending metal, and shattering glass take over the stillness of the winter day.Gasps from all in attendance form, our heads shooting in the direction of the sounds. Smoke fills the air, and my face turns white, unsure of who it is or what has happened. Something has gone very wrong close by, and to continue with this wedding without attending aid would be even more unethical than my marriage to Anastasia.

Instinct kicks in as I start trekking through the snow racing towards it, the smoke in the air my guide. Fear takes over me like I’ve never felt in my life, afraid I will find something I am not prepared to see, fear of whether it is her or some random person driving by. My panic grows with every step I take, racing into the unknown. I know others are behind me, but I don’t even glance back. I race like the Devil himself is chasing me. I finally make it close enough, and my worst fear is confirmed as I lay eyes on Ivy’s car wrapped up under an eighteen-wheeler, completely demolished and entangled within the wheels. The quiet in the air is eerie and haunting. I rush over to her car, trying with all my strength to pry open the door, but it won’t budge. I scream at her, “IVY! Ivy, wake up.” Ripping my jacket off, I attempt to dislodge the door with my bare hands, pushing back my exhaustion. I steady one foot on the frame of the door as leverage, using my hands to grab onto the shredded door once more, grunting with each attempt to pry it open. I fail again, until suddenly, I hear my father and Maikel behind me. “Tayden, move your hands down. If we all pull at the same time, we have a chance.” I move my hands down making room.

“One, two, three, pull.”

Screams explode from my lungs using all my force, tears flooding from my eyes, my vision all a blur at this point. I am on instinct, fueled by desperation. On the sixth pull, the door finally opens. I reach in, wrapping Ivy up in my arms. A crowd filled with wedding guests, workers, and traffic has formed. I’m fucking broken, in complete disarray, holding my past, unsure if she is even alive. “Get back, get away from her,”I shout.

Falling to the ground, laying her across me, I brush her blonde-as-the-snow hair away from her face, blood trailing down her forehead, forming a river down her cheek. I hear my fiancé’s voice call to the crowd.

“Someone call 911!” Her voice snaps me out of my rage momentarily as I look up to her, she’s full of confusion and so many questions, but I have no concern for her needs at this moment, just Ivy’s. I snuggle my face into her limp body, shaking her, begging her to wake up. “Come on Ives, wake up. I am sorry. I’m sorry for it all, just please don’t leave, you hear me? Don’t leave me, not like this. You fucking wake up, little flame. Fight, baby. Fight like you always have.” Glass-shattering screams at the top of my lungs echo through the tall pines as I hold her fragile body, the wind blowing her beautiful red dress as snowflakes drop down on us, soaking up her blood as they hit her body, her blood becoming one with the cold, tragically. Her arms are limp and lifeless. I fall back, continuing to embrace her lifeless body, begging for this to not be the end, our end, but she is gone and not breathing. Refusing to give up, I lay her in the snow, starting CPR, pushing on her chest, and pausing only to share the oxygen within my lungs with hers, her lips turning colder. “You fight, Ivy. You fucking fight for me. You fight for you. You fight for Liam. Fight for us. Come on now, fight dammit. That little girl didn’t become the woman you are today by giving up. Fight, baby, just fucking fight!” I yell out to her, pleading to her, to whomever, to just save her.

Suddenly, a hand touches my shoulder. Wiping the snot and tears from my face, I turn, looking up, my father standing above me, looking back at me, tears filling his eyes, as he realizes who lies in my arms. “She’s gone, son.” Glaring up at him, I shout back, “No, you don’t get to do that, not this time. I say when now, not you. Not ever, you hear me, Mr. Bergess? Not fucking ever!” The sirens in the distance close in as I lay there holding the love of my life that I never allowed myself to have, crying out to the sky, shaking her viciously in my hold as I beg “Take me. Here I fucking am. Take me. Take it all. I beg of you, just please, not her. Don’t fucking take her. Don’t take my Ivy, mylittle flame.” My roars travel with the wind. I’m a deranged man, a lost, broken fucking man.

Looking back down at her, my tears falling on her olive skin as I wrap my hands in her hair, lifting her to me as I lean down kissing her, her lips cold and frozen. Her hand falls off to her side onto the blood-stained snow from her injuries, and my heart shatters further as I see that cheap Gatti-Town smiley face ring I had given to her so many years ago when we were just kids, in love and unphased by what our future would hold, as long as we had each other. My hand wraps around hers; the ring, finally where it has always belonged, bound between our hands, uniting our souls.

Forever and through, Mi Amor. I love you Ivy Sage Rutledge.

“There was someone else in that car,” a voice screams from the crowd.

I look back, spotting the person behind the voice. He’s wearing a red valet vest. He must have been the one who escorted her into her car.

Who the fuck would it have been? Liam? Who would she have with her? I race back to the car, searching it over again. I could have missed something, my focus only having been on Ivy, but I come up empty-handed. There is nobody else in the tattered car. Just as I’m about to think he’s crazy, the shattered hole in the windshield catches my eye.There was someone else.They must have been thrown before the car got sucked up under the eighteen wheeler’s wheels.

“Check everywhere,” I yell to the crowd. “There is someone else, somewhere.”

My father gasps out, “I’ll stay with her.”

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