I’m still that seventeen-year-old girl who lost the father-figure she always dreamt of having, who realised that loving something with your whole heart doesn’t mean that it won’t get ripped away from you.
And when it gets ripped away? It feels a million times worse than if you hadn’t felt anything at all.
Even that night of our prom, when Jason told me he would back out of joining the Army, that he wouldn’t go to military college and put me through that stress, I knew that I couldn’t be that person. Hell, my own brother was still going to go to military college – so who on earth was I to tell him what to do with his life?
I’m a strong believer in people following their dreams and, if those people are meant for you, they’ll find their way back to you. I would never be the person to stand in the way of what someone wants, and because of that moral standing, I think Jason fell in love with me even more.
But now? Now that I’m older and financially settled, I want to settle down. Whether that’s in Nashville or Phoenix Falls, I want a partner and a family.
And if I’m lucky enough to have children, I don’t want them to go through the pain of loving their father, only to lose him when they least expect it.
I won’t have them feeling the same pain that I endured.
So the second that I’m inside the guest bedroom, I shove all of my belongings back into my little carry-on, because I can’t stay in this house for one more day knowing that Jason’s career is always going to have me feeling like this – feeling too much because my feelings for him are too deep.
And this is exactly why Nashville was so good for me. Because the relationships I formed there were shallow – casual and fleeting. Nothing like this bone-deep worry to find out if he’s still okay.
I pull off Jason’s sweater until I’m wearing nothing but my underwear, and then I’m slipping on my shirt, my jeans, and, the second that I get down those stairs, my trusty cowgirl boots.
I toss my carry-on into the back of Casey’s truck and kick the vehicle to life.
I’m not waiting around for another unhealable heartbreak.
Chapter 24
Sunday
A reckless heart is dangerous because the less you fear the more daring you become.
The more that you do, the more you’re willing to try, to push your luck a little harder.
Which is probably why I’m feeling so good, so wild and free, by the time that I’ve tossed my stuff back in Casey’s cabin, taken a spontaneous winter walk through the lower valleys with Haven and Tucker, and then pulled up into the parking lot in the snow-covered town square.
The roads have been cleared, making the remaining snow accumulate on the sidewalks, and I secretly kind of love it as my boots slowly sink into the sparkling piles.
I cast a glance toward the roof of the diner where one of Jason’s team members is currently dismounting a tall ladder, casting me a double-take of surprise when he sees me walking past.
“Sunday?” he calls out, blinking quickly as he looks over his shoulder.
I’m ninety-nine-percent sure that this crew member is Knox, a no-nonsense, thick-muscled guy, with tan skin and incredible biceps.
I smile up at him over my shoulder, offering him a naughty wink as I head to the bar.
Casey’sbar.
I wonder how long it’ll take me to get used to that.
Knox’s handsome smile is enough to spur me forwards, and I almost collide with Beckett’s chest as he heads over to his truck, his lighter in hand.
His strong brow lifts as high as Knox’s, but the look in his eyes isn’t as sweet.
I have a feeling that Beckett’s a total bad boy, through and through.
It takes him less than a second to veil his expression and pocket his lighter. His eyes rake down my outfit, appreciation flickering in his gaze.
He backsteps into the bar as I stroll effortlessly forwards, casually tugging my gloves from my fingers and tossing them over to one of the tables.
Sensing the storm brewing inside of me, Beckett comes to a sharp stop when we hit the counter.