Page 61 of Destruction

Lio gestures for me to sit on the small couch he keeps in his office. I’m not surprised to see him working out of it, instead of Il Padrone’s. I am surprised when he stands and joins me. He situates himself so he can stare at me directly. It’s slightly disconcerting.

“So, I’m sure there’s some best friend rule thingy that you’ll break out. Something along the line of emotions, feels, whatever. I’m going to preempt that, and you can tell me what the fuck is going on. Do you want Tennant? Do you no longer love Ignacio? Should I kill Ignacio to make things easier on you? And did he hurt you? Because I can make his death slow.”

I give an aborted laugh because…fuck,where the hell do I begin? “Tennant is…complicated. I don’t know what the hell happened. One moment, I’m just there for training, and the next, I’m being claimed. And I claim him in return.

“I wish I had a logical explanation—you know how much I prefer those—but this defies all logic. He calls to me. I guess that’s the only thing I can say. There’s something in him that brings out a freedom in me.”

“Hmm. I guess I can see that. Me falling in love with Master wasn’t logical, I suppose. And it’s far from where I started with the Family. But having the freedom to let go, to take off societal expectations, that is definitely heady.”

I sigh in relief, leaning toward him, because at least he gets it. “It really is. After everything that happened with Jax…things were in a tailspin. You know that. You’ve walked with me when I’ve paced at night. You trained me, when you had time, knowing I needed it. Not only so I’d be prepared for this, but to work through some of what I went through. I never, ever, want to be that helpless again.

“I did everything I could to protect Ignacio, by giving myself over to that maniac. And Ignacio doesn’t… Shit! I don’t want to say he doesn’t care, but he treats me like I’m glass that’ll break. Tennant doesn’t do that, as you saw when I did fuck up and he put me in my place, despite our connection.”

“Yeah, those punches. Damn.” Lio cringes. “I’m not saying you didn’t earn them, but fuck. He doesn’t pull them. Ignacio is pissed about that, by the way. And yes, I shared the video. Iwanted to see his reaction, and to make sure I didn’t need to handle anything before you got here. But, we’ve talked about Tennant, and a little about Ignacio. Now, tell me. Do you love Ignacio? Do you still want to get married?”

It’s like the bottom of my life falls out from under me. I’d been deliberately not thinking about this. We were so happy. What the fuck do I say? Hell, I’m not even sure how I feel some days.

I can still remember those first moments of love, that thrill of our engagement, but then I think about what came after. The way he withdrew. The way he put me into a box, one I don’t fit in anymore.

Slowly, I say, “You know, at the start of all this, he had problems taking instructions from me. And yeah, we had some hot, possessive sex because of it. But…it felt empty. Now that I’ve been with Tennant, I can see that. It’s like he was trying to hold onto me, but I was already slipping away. Not on purpose. Fuck, none of this was on purpose. I wanted him so badly. I loved him so much. But at the end of the day…”

“No, I understand. I have to let you know something, and it may be hard to hear.” I gulp as I stare into my friend’s eyes. “I know you say you’ve been slipping away, and this may make it worse. When I came home from uh,visitingwith Hollis, Ignacio went crazy that you weren’t with me. Don’t worry, I punished him for showing any doubts in you. But I want you to be prepared for when you see him.”

“Fuck,” I whisper. “And that’s the problem. He’s tearing us apart. Hell, he tore us apart with his doubts and his need to control me, to protect me. He says he wants the best for me, but how can he? How can he want the best for me when he won’t give me space to grow?”

Lio surprises me by pulling me in for a hug, and I go greedily, needing this comfort as my heart breaks. Because it does. Thepain throbs inside me, and worse—I know I’m going to have to break Ignacio’s heart as well. How do I do that to someone who just wants to protect me?

Pushing me away gently, Lio gives me a sad smile. “Do you think you could find your way back to each other?”

I turn my head and stare off into the distance. It’s a thought that’s run through my mind before, and I don’t have an answer. Or maybe it’s that I have an answer, but don’t want to admit it. “I…”

“Got it. Well, if I do need to kill Ignacio, because he’s being a pest, or it’s too much for you, can you wait until we get Il Padrone back? I can kill him beforehand, but I could really use his help still. If he’ll actually be helpful.” Lio’s face scrunches up in doubt, and I have to bite my tongue from asking about what Ignacio told him. I don’t want to place my best friend in the middle of things, and really, this is something I need to tackle on my own.

“No need to kill him.” At least, I hope so. “But I think I’m going to get ready for bed. I’ll check with Ignacio first, but I’ll probably crash in my old room. That way, we can hit the ground running tomorrow.”

Lio nods, somewhat distractedly, but waves me on. “A suggestion before you go see Ignacio. Take a shower. Maybe put some makeup over where Tennant claimed you. Unless you want to flaunt it, which I’ll stand by you on, however you’d like to do it. I’ve never broken up with someone.”

I stand up and touch my best friend’s shoulder. He gives me a smile, even as his eyes are filled with worry. There’s nothing else we can talk about. Tomorrow will be another day of work. I’m excited to be part of it, to be the Second Lio deserves. We will find Il Padrone, and make the world pay for taking him.

But first, I need to tear myself and the man who used to stand by my side apart. I don’t have a fucking clue how to do it.How do I tell someone I’ve loved, who I know still loves me, that one chapter has ended, and maybe there won’t be another? That maybe the pages are blank for us? The ink all dried up, and it’s time to put it away, even if we wished for more.

We don’t live in a world where happily ever afters exist. If they did, I’d hold onto him, and love him forever. But now it’s time to close the book and put it away. All I can hope is that there’s another book out there for each of us. One that brings us our own happiness, even if it’s no longer together.

“Be careful, we don't have time for you to be sidelined,” Roman says.

I huff but give him an indulgent smile. “I am always careful, Little Prince. Remember, Carter and Jude are in charge of security. So, if shit hits the fan, you and Hollis fuckinglistento them. Understand?”

He rolls his eyes. “Yes, Tennant. Go, the last thing we need is to piss them off by being late; they're already unhappy we delayed the exchange.”

“I'll check in when the deal is over.”

He raises his chin and I kiss him, slow and sweet. “Later, I'll take you upstairs and lavish you with the attention you deserve. Maybe I'll watch Jude take you first, and then fuck his cum out of you.”

Roman moans and reaches for me, but I back away, smirking at the desperation on his face.

“I'll see you soon.”

Walking away is hard, especially when I know how much he needs space to just let go, after the hell he's been through.

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