Page 18 of White Room Virgin

“You do realize what the assignment was?” he asked, squinting at my sketch.

“Modern still life. Right?”

“Uh … close. That was last week. Nude is on the program today.”

I stopped and gawked at him in disbelief. “You sure?” His statement didn’t concern me yet, considering Steven was always stoned.

He pulled out his phone, opened the semester schedule, and pointed to today.

“Nude.”

Shit … Okay.

I spontaneously drew the lines of the leaves longer and turned them into the lasciviously spread legs of a woman. From the apples, I sculpted the curves of the pelvis while the bouquet of flowers morphed into a wild mop of hair.

“That’s almost outrageous,” Steven commented on the passable drawing. “But will Professor Seeger approve of that?”

“Probably not,” I thought aloud, but first and foremost, I was just relieved to be able to submit something. “There’s nothing to be done about the fact that the guy doesn’t like me anymore anyway.”

Steven tried to suppress his laughter. “That’s your own fault.”

“Pff, nothing happened at all.”

“But you wanted to give him a blow job.”

“So? I still would if he took me off his blacklist for that.”

“I’m afraid he doesn’t seem gay or bi.”

I rolled my eyes and tried to forget the embarrassing situation almost a year ago. “I told you, I was just drunk. It wasn’t a hookup.”

“Of course, keep telling yourself that. It obviously felt different to him.”

Steven didn’t know what had really happened then. It had been a similar situation to the one with Jonah in the stairwell. There was a fall festival and exhibition at the art school. I found myself standing with Seeger in front of my painting, which he commented on in detail and praised. At some point, I stopped listening altogether. All I could see was Phil in him—every movement, every sparkle in his eyes. Even his voice sounded like Phil’s to me. That warm tone, so beloved, overcame me, and I couldn’t resist any longer; I simply kissed the professor.

Unfortunately, Seeger’s subsequent apology for his behavior—he had pushed me away so forcefully that I landed on the floor—couldn’t salvage our relationship. My actions had offended him deeply, and he couldn’t look past it.

“The man thinks I’m a pervert. I should be thankful he didn’t report me.”

“Well, that would have been going a bit too far,” Steven said, pushing the joint into the ashtray by the entrance.

I grimaced and muttered. “Whatever…”

***

There were two nude models present. I loved approaching human forms in this way, deciphering their proportions and turning simple shapes into figures. In my paintings, I still kept the human bodies abstract, although I would have liked to depict them in more detail—one of my weaknesses that I had to work on.

I was so absorbed that I didn’t even notice someone standing behind me. It was only when they leaned slightly over my shoulder that I flinched, startled.

I guess Professor Seeger isn’t that homophobic when he gets that close to me.

“You work with rectangles here too, Mr. Gilliéron.” Without looking at me, he pointed to my male’s torso with his pencil. “That makes it easier to depict the rotation of the upper body.”

“Th-thank you.”

Seeger walked over to Steven, who was sitting next to me, and glanced at his drawing. When I saw the professor from the side, I wondered how I could have had such hallucinations—he didn’t look anything like Phil. It was different with Jonah; he looked much more like him. And that athletic body was so hot.

My eyes drifted back to one of the nude models. I’d been staring at the naked torso for over an hour now, but it just wasn’tthe same anymore. I kept thinking about that day when Jonah had come shirtless into the kitchen. I know I had devoured him with my gaze, but I just couldn’t help it. The guy was so sexy and didn’t even know it.

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