Page 29 of White Room Virgin

Shortly afterward, he sent me a screenshot of an email that I hadn’t even seen yet. The task was to deliver sketches of bars and restaurants by Saturday morning.

There goes my resolution not to drink.

It was inevitable now, especially considering Steven’s prediction that it was going to be a pub crawl.

14

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Jonah

It was impossible to concentrate on the lecture. I had been feeling terribly uncomfortable in my skin all morning. Nothing felt right, whether I was observing the professor or gazing at the screen before me. The evening at Lucien’s studio hung over me like a dark, demonic cloud.

I didn’t even know how I actually felt. Was I exhilarated? Tired? Confused? Or maybe angry?

Lucien had me under his spell and I succumbed to him with the first little touch. He was a demon! And he looked like a damn angel!

It made me angry because he had been following me everywhere since I left the studio. He was constantly buzzing around in my mind like a ghost, and every time I licked my lips, I tasted him.

When Simon and I left the university at lunchtime and cigarette smoke wafted into my nostrils, I turned around. Maybe he was there––which made absolutely no sense.

“Have you seen anyone you know?” Simon asked.

“Hm …” I said quietly. “No, I was wrong.”

“You’re kind of out of sorts today. Are you okay?”

“I had a rough night’s sleep.”

“Must be the mid-semester slump. Soon it picks up and suddenly the year is over.”

“Yeah, I guess it will be,” I mumbled, my mind already back in the studio.

I kissed him. Of course, he kissed me first, but I kissed him. And I wanted more. And he would have given me more.Oh God, I’m so stupid!

Maybe Lucien was right. Maybe I really was a liar. Because if I had been honest with myself, I would have stopped fooling myself. Lucien awakened a desire in me and tickled someone who was a complete stranger to me. Just the thought of him kissing me made the blood rush to my center and my cock twitch.

I remembered how I had held him in the stairwell. His slim body … And how I had placed my hands on his head during the last kiss. I felt the warmth of his body, the heat on his neck, and his sweet tongue. I hadn’t wanted him to stop.

Oh God! Stop it already! He’s a man! And I like women!

At least this time I did the right thing and left—albeit with quite a delay. But I had run away. That was good.

Shit, man! And yet I couldn’t let it go.

Not even a hot shower had helped. Afterward, I lay in bed, clutching the pillow and staring at the wall. When I realized that Lucien’s room was behind it, I turned to the other side and crawled under the covers. My thoughts were so scattered that I couldn’t even recall a comforting psalm. Instead, my hand had wandered into my pants while I thought of Lucien.

“Oh, we’re having curry today,” Simon happily said as we reached the canteen.

I wasn’t hungry at all and went to the salad buffet instead.

***

The day was more challenging than rewarding, so I felt relieved when I finally made it home in the evening.

“Saturday in a week works for me,” Martin said in the kitchen. “I’ll take my cousin with me. Ah, I thought you might be able to use them.”

It sounded like he was on the phone, but when I stepped into the kitchen, I found Lucien sitting there. He was smoking andlooking at a pile of new magazines spread out on the table in front of him.

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