Page 39 of White Room Virgin

Even though I had just come, I still hadn’t had enough. The urge in my pants was so strong that I paused and took a deep breath to compose myself.

God, Jonah is hot!

Stop it now!

Gradually regaining my composure, I found myself near a bus stop. I tried to keep a cool head because after all, it was actually quite simple: I was horny and hadn’t fucked in a long time. I’d also been working far too much recently, so it was only normal to look for relief. Jonah could be glad that I hadn’t really gone down on him straight away. The man was just hot and he didn’t even know it. He was so innocent and pure. It wasprobably even good for him that I showed him this side of life. Maybe it brought him out of his shell a little.

Don’t kid yourself.

I tried to make myself feel better, even though I knew I was dragging Jonah into the darkness with me. And he didn’t deserve that. Oh yeah, I was just a selfish asshole. Most of the people I surrounded myself with knew that, and they didn’t seem to care. Otherwise, they would have turned their backs on me long ago. No matter how messed up I was, I didn’t want their pity, and they knew that.

But what was I supposed to do now?

For better or worse, I had to admit to myself that I wanted to see Jonah. But with this thought, Phil also appeared before my inner eye. I wiped my face and tried to think of something else. There was still a longing pulsing inside me that needed to be satisfied somehow. Maybe that was the key to distracting myself from other things.

Before I grabbed the phone out of my pocket, I felt it vibrate against my leg. An uneasy feeling welled up inside me.

Martin? Or maybe Jonah?

I glanced at the screen and was relieved.

Clarissa.

Her message arrived exactly when I needed it. It had been a long time since we had spent time together. In many ways, she mirrored my approach—averse to commitment and skeptical of love—and yet whenever she needed it, just like this time, she called me.

She texted,“Fancy a bit of fun? ;—)”

“Right away. Where do we meet?”

“Can’t meet at home,”she replied, which probably meant that her parents were there.“I’ll book at Widder. In an hour?”

“Okay.”And so I took a long walk toward the old town.

Clarissa was one of those rich kids who spent her money on anything and everything and wasn't afraid to book a night at the fancy Widder Hotel just to have some fun. She was very different from her brother because Steven wasn't interested in luxury at all—apart from the fancy clothes he always wore. He didn't care that I fucked his sister every now and then––I was just one of many.

***

“You’re somehow different than usual,” Clarissa said, tying her long brown curls into a big bun.

Like the Little Mermaid of Copenhagen, she sat in front of me and stared at my naked body with pleasure.

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. Somehow you’ve changed.”

I snorted derisively, leaned over the edge of the bed, reached for my pants on the floor, and pulled my cigarettes out of my back pocket. When I lit one, Clarissa immediately yanked it out of my mouth and dropped it in the water glass on the bedside table.

“This is a non-smoking room,” she calmly said. “I’m not paying your fines.”

“As if the few francs mattered.”

“I like spending money, yes. But I don’t burn it.”

“It’s not your money anyway.”

Clarissa let out an exasperated sigh. “Let’s change the subject. It’s impossible to talk about it with you anyway.”

“You see. I’m completely normal.”

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