Page 26 of Catching the Mistletoe

Half an hour later, we were driving out of Yosemite and within five minutes of getting in the passenger seat; she was asleep. Or pretending to be, at least. I flicked a glance her way and felt my heart turn over. She was just so lovely, with her pale skin, her long, dark lashes, her beautiful blue eyes. And those lips. Fuck. Now I knew how they felt under mine, so sweet and full. I could kiss her a thousand times and not get enough of it.

And yeah, even though I couldn’t get the kiss out of my mind, the fact was, I shouldn’t have done it. Shouldn’t have let myself give into that temptation. Things between us had been so good, but now everything was weird. She couldn’t even look at me, let alone speak to me. And who was I to blame her? She just didn’t deserve that from me.

My head was filled with her, though, and I couldn’t help myself. I slid another glance her way. And almost veered off the road. Because she was awake, her eyes on me. Eyes that were filled with such…longing. There was no other word for it and I felt it like a kick in the guts. Felt it turn me inside out. Then it was gone. Her gaze was shuttered, and she was turning away, shifting in the seat so she was looking out the passenger window, her back to me.

The mountains receded, and the vegetation turned scrubby, more sagebrush than evergreens now and the colors changed from the rich browns and greens of Yosemite to more muted tones.

My knuckles whitened on the steering wheel as we ate up the miles. Every so often, my eyes would twitch in her direction, but I’d rein them in. Whatever was hanging between us, whatever had changed during that hike, was a line I wasn’t going to cross. So I drove, letting the highway stretch out in front of us, a long, empty space that felt a lot like silence.

As we got closer to Reno, civilization crept back into the scenery. Small towns dotted the landscape, then gas stations, motels, and eventually, the casinos that let me know we’d arrived in the biggest little city. Arabella was awake, staring out the window, her shoulders hunched. She radiated misery, which made me feel even more like a fucking asshole.

We made it to the RV park moments after Evelyn and Sam, which was lucky, because there was already a crowd gathered when we pulled in. The brightly painted RV was a showstopper, for sure. There was no escaping the attention.

Arabella drew in two deep breaths and squared her shoulders. I saw the moment she put her game face on and, without looking at me, climbed out of the RV to greet the crowd.

“Oh wow! Hi everyone! Thanks so much for coming along to say hello!”

I desperately wanted to hide, to just stay where I was and not face a hoard of people right now. But that was hardly fair to Arabella, so I forced myself out and over to her. She tensed the moment I moved to stand next to her, and it made me wince.

We got through the next few minutes, with Arabella talking and laughing and me standing there like a big block of wood. There were a few people who wanted to talk about the specifics of the show to us, but Evelyn gently reminded them we were on a very strict information diet and giving away any details would ruin the energy of the show. Then she let everyone know we’d had a long drive and needed to get some rest.

Once the crowd had drifted away, Arabella turned to Evelyn. “You guys wanna join us for dinner? I’m sure we can stretch it for two more people.”

Shields. Good idea.

Apparently, Evelyn didn’t agree. “Oh, sweetie, thanks for the offer but I’m looking for my bed right now. I’ll come by in the morning, just after breakfast, when I’ve received the plans for the day. How’s that?”

“Great. That’s great.” Arabella’s voice still had that brittle edge to it.

I didn’t miss the look Evelyn cast over both of us before saying goodnight and leading Sam over to their campervan. Did she think she was doing us a solid by forcing us to be alone? Far from it.

Arabella went ahead of me into the RV and before I could say anything, grabbed some things and headed straight for the shower. She spent long enough in the bathroom that by the time she came out, I’d made dinner and set the little dining table. We ate in silence and it was fucking excruciating. There were a thousand things I wanted to say to her, but since I was absolutely chicken shit, I didn’t say a word.

After dinner, Arabella said, “I can clean up here, if you wanna take a shower.”

That seemed so much easier than cleaning up together, in the agony of distance that now sat between us. “Okay.” I walked away from her, a tight band around my chest, making it hard for me to breathe. When I came out of the bathroom, twenty minutes later, the kitchen was all cleaned up and the dining table was converted to Arabella’s bed. Figuring that it was in both of our bests interests to get away from her right now, I turned to go into the bedroom.

Arabella cleared her throat. “Mack.”

The way she said my name like that, all soft and uncertain, made my breath hitch. She was standing next to the bed, eyes downcast, twisting her fingers in the hem of her pajama top. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry I kissed you. I shouldn’t have done it and, you know, I hope you can get over it.”

“Arabella—”

“No, please don’t say anything. It’ll just make it more awkward. I’d rather just go to bed. Start fresh tomorrow, if that’s okay.”

“Sure. Okay.” The band around my chest got tighter still, but I did what she asked, going into the bedroom, sliding the door closed behind me.

I couldn’t sleep though, so I just lay there, staring up at the ceiling. It was after two o’clock when I heard Arabella get up and turn the kettle on. I pictured her out there, standing at the counter, staring at the tea bags. Forlorn and out of sorts, like last night. I wanted to get up, go to her, make the tea for her, and sit with her until she felt able to go back to sleep. But I was the last person she’d want with her right now. So I didn’t.

CHAPTER13

Arabella

Achildren’s hospice. Oh god. I just did not have the level of…whatever it would take to do that today. Another weird, rough night of not sleeping properly, on top of the weird, rough energy with Mack was doing me in. I was already on my second coffee of the day, while Mack sat on the couch, reading through the briefing. Me? I didn’t need to read it. Because I’d lived it.

A soft tap on the RV door let me know time was up. Evelyn gave me a quiet smile when I opened the door. “Hey, you two. Ready for another day of spreading some cheer?”

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