Page 103 of Most Likely to Fear Love

I looked up, my vision a little blurry, and what I saw in his eyes made my heart twist painfully. Love. Pure, unguarded love. The kind of love I’d dreamed about before Brian had twisted those dreams into nightmares. It scared me to fucking death.

He reached for me again, his hand brushing my cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear I hadn’t even realized had fallen. I wanted to lean into his touch, to let myself believe in this moment, in him, in us. But the voice in my head whispered warnings I couldn’t ignore.

“I love you.” His voice broke on the words raw and honest in a way that made my chest ache. “I want to be with you, for the rest of my life.”

The world tilted sideways. My lungs forgot how to work, panic clawing its way up my throat. I stumbled back, needing distance, needing air, needing to think past the roaring in my ears.

“No, Harle. No.” I shook my head, my voice coming out strangled and desperate. “You don’t understand... I can’t do this. I can’t give you what you want. I can’t be who you deserve.”

His eyes clouded with confusion and hurt, his hands dropping to his sides. The loss of his touch felt like a physical ache. “Cassidy, I’m not asking for anything you’re not ready for. I just?—”

“That’s just it,” I interrupted, my voice breaking. The words tumbled out, brutal in their honesty. “You deserve someone who can meet you where you’re at, who isn’t terrified of falling apartall over again. I’m never going to be that person, Harle. I’m too broken.”

He opened his mouth, but I held up a hand, stopping him. “I can’t risk it. Not again. I wish I could, honestly. But I’m just not strong enough. You need to understand that.”

Harle’s face twisted, like he was trying to find the right words, but instead, his shoulders dropped. He looked utterly defeated as he stepped forward and cupped my face in his hands. Searching. I held his gaze, knowing he wouldn’t find what he was looking for. I wasn’t capable of it.

I saw the moment he gave up, the resignation that flickered in his eyes. Acceptance had never had such sharp fangs. He pressed his lips to my forehead, his breath shaky. Then, “I wish I’d met you first.” His voice was heavy with pain, tearing at my heart.

Tears welled in my eyes, spilling over as I whispered back, “Me too.”

He pulled away slowly, his eyes lingering on mine before he turned and walked out of the kitchen. The sound of the front door closing behind him was softer than a whisper, but it echoed through my chest like a gunshot.

I hadno idea how much time had passed. Maybe an hour, maybe a day. But the coffee had gone cold and I was still sitting on the kitchen floor, back pressed against the cabinets, myface buried in my hands. The hollow silence of the empty house echoed around me, amplifying every doubt and fear that was taking root in my mind. It was all just too fucking much.Suddenly, I heard the front door open, followed by Hannah’s voice calling my name. “Cassidy?”

Her voice drew closer, then a second one. “Cassidy, are you here?” That was Mia.

“Check your phone again, see if she replied to your text.”

A beat of silence. “Nope. Nothing.”

I didn’t move. I couldn’t. I stayed there, curled into myself, feeling like a dried out husk. Stupid to feel this way over something I chose myself.

Footsteps approached, and then they found me.

“Fuck, Cassidy! What’s happened?” The urgency in Hannah’s voice had me forcing myself to my feet.I wiped my face hastily, trying to regain some semblance of control.

“I’m fine.” My voice was almost steady, but I couldn’t meet her eyes. “You want a coffee?”

Hannah’s brow furrowed, glancing over at the two mugs still sitting on the coffee machine. “Who else came by?”

“Oh, Harle was here.”

Hannah’s gaze sharpened, her eyes narrowing as they moved to the counter. She caught sight of the envelope and, without a word, picked it up, peeking inside. Her eyes widened. “What the fuck is this?”

I let out a long breath, my shoulders sagging as I leaned back against the counter. I knew my sister, knew she wasn’t going to let me get away without answering her. “It’s money from Harle.”

Hannah’s voice was laced with confusion. “What for?”

“He wanted me to hire a private investigator.” My tone was almost flat, as if it took all my energy just to say the words.

Mia’s eyes went wide. “Wait, what? Why would he want you to do that?”

Jesus Christ, I wished they’d just leave. Rubbing at my temples, I said, “He wanted me to be able to look into his past. To be sure of who he is. No surprises, you know? He said he wanted me to trust him completely.”

“Trust him?” Hannah echoed, a note of disbelief in her voice. “That sounds intense.”

“It wasn’t like that,” I murmured, shaking my head. “It was just that he wanted to make sure I knew everything. So I wouldn’t be afraid.”

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