Page 111 of Most Likely to Fear Love

Michelle tilted her head toward the backyard. “There’s a fire pit out back. Want to burn it?”

For the first time in days, I felt a flicker of something other than despair. It was a small, simmering ember of resolve. I looked at Michelle and nodded. “Fuck, yeah. Let’s burn it.”

She glanced at the clock on the oven. “It’s getting late. You wanna eat crappy take out, drink wine andthenburn it?”

“Yep. That’s exactly what I want to do.”

CASSIDY

With our bellies full of greasy burgers and fries, Michelle and I stood by the fire pit.The stars were scattered like glitter against the dark velvet sky, and the flames crackled, filling the quiet.

I grabbed Brian’s journal from the box, holding it against my chest whileMichelle crouched near the pit, adding a piece of wood to the flames, making them leap higher. “One second.” She grabbed the wine bottle from the grass next to her chair and topped up our glasses. Once that was done, she held hers high. “To assholes. May they always trip on their lies and choke on their bullshit.”

“Fuck yes!”

We clinked our glasses together, then Michelle gestured with hers to the fire. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Holding the journal felt like holding the past, all its weight pressing against my chest. Time to let it go. I stepped up to the fire and dropped the journal into the flames, watching as the edges caught fire, curling and blackening. The pages were devoured quickly, the ink dissolving into smoke. It felt like exhaling after holding my breath for far too long. My chest hurt,but there was something freeing about the sight of it turning to ash.

“What else have we got in there?”

“Umm, let’s see.”I rummaged through the box, looking for the next burnable item. The only things I’d taken out were the scrapbook and the bracelet. Everything else could go.

While I was looking, Michelle put two more logs on the fire. They took flame immediately and I felt the heat on my face.

“Fuck it.” Without warning, I picked up the whole box and dropped it into the pit.

Michelle burst out laughing. “Fucking hell, that’s the spirit!”

We sat down and watched the box smolder and collapse in on itself, the memories inside reduced to nothing but ash. It was oddly mesmerizing, like watching the end of something and the beginning of something else all at once. I took a sip of my wine, letting the silence linger.

Michelle broke it first, her tone light but edged with something deeper. “You know, I never thought I’d find myself sitting by a fire with my husband’s other wife, burning his shit.”

I glanced over at her, a small smile on my face. “Same. Life’s funny like that.”

“Let’s hope it doesn’t happen with the next guy.”

I nearly choked on my drink. “Next guy? You’re considering dating again?”

Michelle gave a soft laugh.“Not considering it. Doing it.”

My eyebrows shot up. “Really? Wow, that’s... brave.”

“It doesn’t feel brave, honestly. Most of the time, I’m scared shitless. But he knows all about Brian and he’s agreed to take it slow, so that’s what we’re doing. I’m back to weekly therapy appointments, instead of every other week. Just so that I can deal with anything as and when it pops up. So far it’s going well.”

“How... how do you trust him? Or, more to the point, how do you trust yourself? Your judgement?”

“I’m very fucking vigilant, for starters. But honestly, Cassidy, this guy is waving green flags in my face all the live long day.”

“But how do you know he’s not faking?”

“In some ways, I don’t. But I’m on the lookout for those telltale signs and so far, this guy is an open book.” Michelle leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, her glass dangling loosely in her hand. “You know how it was with Brian. There were always those odd rules. Stuff that seemed normal at first but wasn’t, once you really thought about it.”

I frowned, swirling the wine in my glass absently. “Like what?”

“Like the whole ‘don’t post pictures of us online’ thing. I mean, this started well before he met you, which makes me wonder if he was playing the long game, looking for a second wife.”

“Fuck.”

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