Page 19 of Most Likely to Fear Love

Three dots appeared, then disappeared. She waited so long to type again that I figured she wasn’t going to. Then,

Cassidy:It’s so weird. Except for Hannah, you’re the only person I can talk to about this.

Me:You haven’t told anyone else?

Cassidy:No.I even only told Hannah because I didn’t want to be alone that first day, when you came by.

Cassidy:Sorry, that sounds rude.

Me:No, it doesn’t. It sounds sensible.

Cassidy:Thanks for understanding.

Me:No problem.

Cassidy:It’s really hard for me to open up to people, even my close friends. I just don’t want them to have to deal with my shit.

I frowned at my phone for a long moment, trying to think of how best to respond.

Me:I bet your friends don’t think of you as a burden, but I get it. It’s hard to open up sometimes.

Cassidy:Yeah, it is.

The three dots that followed that message let me know another was coming, so I held off replying.

Cassidy:I just wanted to say, even though you agreed to more than two rounds, if you’ve had enough, I understand.

I straightened in my chair, because that sounded an awful lot like she was throwing in the towel. Max whined softly, sensing my shift in mood. He nudged my leg with his wet nose, those soulful eyes peering up at me. I scratched his ears, grateful for the distraction.

“What do you think, boy? Should we offer to try again? Or has she had enough?”

The least I could do was reassure her that I was willing. I knew it wasn’t my place to push, but the thought of Cassidy giving up on her dream twisted something inside me. So,

Me:I don’t think the fact that it hasn’t worked after two rounds means it won’t. If you’re not ready to give up, then neither am I.

Again, she took so long to reply that I just started thinking I’d crossed a line I couldn’t walk back from.

Cassidy:Are you sure? It seems like so much to ask.

Me: Yes, I’m sure. It’s not that much effort. There are 30 days a month. This doesn’t even take up five of them.

Cassidy:Well, when you put it like that…

Me:I’ll see you in two weeks, then.

Cassidy: That’s amazing. Thank you. Really, thank you.

Me:No problem.

I lined up another nail,my grip tightening on the hammer. The goats on the other side of the fence watched me curiously for a few moments before going back to playing.

The sun was hot on my back, a reminder that summer was really just around the corner. Whack. The nail went in with a satisfying thud and I couldn’t stop thinking about Cassidy.

To check in, or to not check in. What an annoying fucking question. We weren’t friends, so I had no idea if she would find it intrusive. But I couldn’t stop thinking about her. And hey, what’s the worst she could do? Not answer back. That’s all.

Dropping the hammer onto the grass, I dusted off my hands and stepped back to inspect my work. Solid enough. With the fence patched up for now, I wandered back to the house, tugging my gloves off as I sat down on the edge of the deck.

Grabbing my phone, I scrolled back through our messages from the night before.

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