Page 38 of Most Likely to Fear Love

I had to take a moment to steady myself before I squeezed my eyes shut and pushed it inside me, gently depressing the other end all the way down. Dropping the syringe on the bed next tome, I took a few moments to allow the sperm to settle, squirming a little as some of it leaked out.

I reached down and swiped the tip of my finger through it, raising my hand to look at it, glistening in the light.

“Fuck,” I breathed. Closing my eyes again, I dropped my hand to my clit, lightly rubbing Harle’s cum against myself once, twice.Stop!

My heart was racing and my breathing was ragged. How fucking creepy would I have to be, to make myself come in Harle’s bed, with his own cum?

Not fair to him. At all.

Wiping my hand against my skirt, I lay there, legs up against the wall, trying to focus on anything but the man outside. Instead, I focused on the ticking of a clock somewhere in the house. The soft breeze coming through the open window. The faint smell of Harle that clung to his sheets.

Fuck. There I went again, thinking thoughts that had no business being there.Fucking stop it, already.

After what felt like an eternity, I lowered my legs and sat up slowly. I tidied up, disposing of the syringe and making sure I hadn’t left any embarrassing evidence behind. As I smoothed down the quilt, my hand lingered on the spot where I imagined Harle usually slept.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. This was getting ridiculous. I needed to get out of here before I did something stupid. Again.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of the bedroom. The sound of chopping wood had stopped, and I wondered if Harle was waiting for me. Part of me hoped he wasn’t. I wasn’t sure I could face him right now. But another part, a part I was trying desperately to ignore, wanted to see him one more time before I left.

I made my way through the house, my footsteps echoing in the quiet. As I reached the front door, I hesitated, my hand on the doorknob. Should I say goodbye? Thank him? Pretend nothing had happened between us?

Before I could decide, the door opened, and there he was. And he didn’t look happy to see me. Actually, by the way he backpedaled, he was very fucking annoyed that I was still there.

What’s a girl gonna do at a time like that? Babble, that’s what. “I’m all finished, thank you. I’ll just get out of your way.” I moved by him, heading for my car. “Sorry to take up your time, I didn’t mean to be in the way. I’m sure you’ve got stuff to do, so I’ll just…”

“Cassidy.”

I stopped in my tracks, my back still to him. My heart was pounding so hard I was sure he could hear it.

“Yes?” I managed to squeak out.

“Are you okay?” His voice was softer than I expected.

There was something in his tone that made me turn around. I couldn’t quite place it. Concern? Regret? Whatever it was, it made my stomach do a little flip.

I looked up at him, taking in his furrowed brow and his hands shoved into his pockets. He looked... uncomfortable. And suddenly, I was terrified that I’d ruined everything.

“Are you mad at me?” I blurted out, my voice shaking a little. I hated how vulnerable I sounded, but I couldn’t help it. The thought of Harle being angry with me, of losing this, whatever it was we had, it scared me more than I was prepared to admit.

His shoulders dropped and he huffed out a breath. “No, darlin’, I’m not mad at you.”

“Then what is it? Because if I did something wrong, I’d like to apologize.”

“It’s nothing you did.” He hesitated for a moment, then when he spoke again, it was like the words were dragged out of him,against his will. “It’s just that the very idea of you standing there, dripping with my cum, makes me want to fuck you so bad it hurts.”

I stared at him, my mouth hanging open. His words hit me like a punch to the gut, leaving me breathless and dizzy. My cheeks burned, and I felt a rush of heat spread through my body.

“Oh,” I managed to squeak out.

He ran a hand through his hair, looking as flustered as I felt. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. It’s just... this situation is...”

“Complicated?” I offered, finding my voice.

He nodded, his blue eyes intense when they met mine. “Yeah. Complicated.”

We stood there for a moment, the tension between us crackling like electricity. I wanted to run to him, to feel his arms around me again, to taste his lips. But I also knew that would be a terrible idea. I was absolutely not equipped to face whatever this was.

“I should go,” I said, even though every fiber of my being was screaming at me to stay.

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