Page 81 of Most Likely to Fear Love

Now it was Emily’s turn to frown. “Packed lunch? You never pack lunch.”

There was a beat of silence, and I found myself suddenly fascinated by the condensation running down my water glass. But Hannah’s sharp intake of breath drew my eyes up just in time to see the realization hit her.

“Oh my god. Harle made you lunch, didn’t he?” The words tumbled out before she could stop them. Realizing what she’d just done, she slapped her hand over her mouth, sending me a silent apology.

The silence that followed was deafening. I could feel the heat creeping up my neck as Emily and Mia’s gazes snapped to me like heat-seeking missiles. Desperately searching for a distraction, I grabbed a paper napkin and methodically started shredding it into tiny pieces as I avoided eye contact.

“Who the fuck is Harle?” Emily leaned forward, elbows on the table, like she was settling in for story time. “And why is he making you lunch?”

“And is he hot?” This from Mia, who had that gleam in her eye that meant I wasn’t getting out of this conversation easily.

I let out a sigh and, accepting that resistance was futile at this point, said, “Very.”

“Okay, well, we’re gonna need details.” Emily’s voice had a tone that I knew meant she wouldn’t be taking no for an answer. “Like, all of them. Now.”

“There’s really not much to say.It’s not really... serious or anything. We’re just... spending time together. That’s all.” While he’s trying to help me have a baby. A fact I definitely was not ready to share.

Emily raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a small smirk. “Really? Because staying at his place and getting him to make you lunch sounds a little more than just ‘spending time’. Sounds like you’re getting the girlfriend treatment.”

I shook my head. “It’s not like that. It’s just convenient, you know?”

“Where does he live?”

“Up near Creswell, by the lake.”

That made Mia snort. “That’s a forty-five-minute drive. Not my idea of convenient.” Her expression softened and she reached across the table to poke me with her finger. “But it sounds like he’s treating you really well, Cass. And I think you deserve that, even if it’s just casual.”

Hannah nodded in agreement. “You do. After everything...” She trailed off, giving me a look that said everything she wasn’t saying. Brian’s name hung in the air between us. Imagine what she’d think if she knew the truth of what happened. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, without you having to question it.”

I swallowed, my throat suddenly tight. I hated how much those words hit me. “I know, it’s just hard. Letting my guard down, I mean.”

Emily bumped me with her shoulder. “That’s understandable, Cass. But maybe this is exactly what you need. Maybe this is a chance to see that it doesn’t always have to be so complicated. You don’t have to keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

I stared into my coffee cup. “That’s the thing though. Every time something feels good, feels safe...” I trailed off, remembering all those times with Brian when I’d thought things were finally okay, only to have him twist everything around until I was apologizing again.

“Hey.” Mia’s voice was gentle but firm. “Brian was a manipulative asshole who got off on making you doubt yourself. The way he treated you, that’s not normal. That’s not what relationships are supposed to be like.”

Fuck, she didn’t even know the half of it. “I know that. Logically, I know that,” I said, my voice smaller than I intended. “But it’s like my brain and my heart aren’t on speaking terms anymore.”

“Then maybe it’s time to let them have a conversation again. And this Harle guy...” Mia smiled softly. “Anyone who packs lunch for someone they’re just ‘spending time’ with? That’s someone who cares.”

“Exactly,” Emily chimed in. “You deserve that much, Cass. Someone who shows up, who does the little things without being asked. Someone who makes you feel safe instead of scared. You just have to let yourself trust him.”

Scaling Mount Everest or swimming to the bottom of the Mariana Trench sounded easier than just trusting, just letting go. Still, I wasn’t going to tell them that, so I said, “Okay. I’ll try.”

CASSIDY

The day after lunch with the girls, I pulled up to Harle’s cabin, the engine idling as I gripped the steering wheel tight, my knuckles turning white. I didn’t move to get out right away. I wasn’t sure I could. The ache in my chest was heavy, a kind of sadness that felt impossible to shake off. Today had been hard. Much harder than I’d expected. And as I sat there, staring at the cabin, I wondered if Harle would notice. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to or not.

It was kinda weird how this anniversary had crept up on me. Too distracted, I guess. Or I’d naively thought I was through the worst of it.I straightened and turned off the engine. My movements were stiff as I slowly opened the car door, stepping out into the fading evening light.

I walked up to the house, my feet dragging slightly. Fuck, I was a mess.

Pushing open the door, I saw Harle in the kitchen, his back to me as he stirred something on the stove.

Buddy let out a low, welcoming bark, letting Harle know I was there.He turned, giving me one of those warm, easy smiles that made my heart skip. “Hey there. Dinner’s not far off. You want to get comfortable?”

I nodded and headed straight to the bedroom.

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