Page 90 of Most Likely to Fear Love

And now here she was, opening up a wound of her own. Something told me that Cassidy didn’t share easily, that this was going to cost her something. Just like it had for me.

I turned my head slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of her profile. Her eyes were fixed on the fire, her jaw tight. I knew that look. I’d seen it enough times in the mirror. A person holding themselves together, barely.

“Married, sort of?” I asked gently.

She swallowed, and I felt her breath shudder as she shifted in my arms. When she finally spoke, her words came out almost too quiet to hear.

“His name was Brian. We met when I was still in college. He was older. Like, way older. Late thirties. Confident. Commanding. Well off. And I guess I thought... I thought I needed someone like that, someone who could help me, guideme. But it wasn’t that. He wanted control. Maybe part of me liked that, I don’t know. For years, I told myself we were happily married, because he didn’t hit me. My dad hits my mom. Used to hit me and Hannah, too. So, you know, the bar was pretty fucking low.”

Anger boiled under my skin, at this faceless man who’d made her question herself, who had broken down her spirit, piece by piece. I forced myself to stay quiet. This was her story, her pain. She didn’t need me to turn it into mine.

“It was a really nice wedding, though. We didn’t wait until I graduated, because Brian didn’t want to. He was impatient. We tied the knot at this small, picturesque chapel out in the countryside. It had these gorgeous stained-glass windows and ivy creeping up the sides, like something out of a fairytale.”

She paused, staring into the flames with a frown. “I wore an off-white lace dress. It wasn’t even a real wedding gown. It was just something I found on sale, but I loved it. Simple, elegant. I felt... I wanted to feel beautiful. For him. Worthy of him.”

I tightened my arm around her, feeling her tremble against me. I wished I could go back in time, reach into that memory, and pull her away from it before it turned sour. But I stayed silent, waiting for her to continue if she wanted to.

“So there I was, all grown up, balancing classes and marriage. Brian owned his own project management company, and his schedule was predictable. One week working in Esperance, one week away overseeing projects in other towns. The perfect setup, really.” Her voice took on a bitter edge. “Perfect for keeping two separate lives going, anyway. And there was me, just believing he was a hard worker.”

“No reason you wouldn’t believe that, darlin’,” I said when she paused again.

She sighed. I figured she was done with her story, but then,

“Brian began talking about starting a family not long after we got married. I wasn’t sure I was ready, but he had a way of convincing me. It seemed like the obvious next step, the way he framed it. We started trying. Month after month, nothing happened. I told myself it was just stress, or timing, or anything that might make sense of it. He kept insisting that he was one hundred percent sure he wasn’t the problem. He convinced me to get tested. I’d already booked the appointment. Then my whole world blew up in my face.”

I could feel her body tense against mine, like she was bracing herself to keep going. My gut clenched, already knowing this wasn’t going anywhere good.

“It was a Thursday afternoon. I was at home because my last class had been canceled. I remember I’d just finished folding laundry, and I heard a knock at the door. It wasn’t a polite knock. It was urgent, angry. I opened the door, and there she was. Michelle. She was a mess. Looked like she’d been crying for hours. I didn’t know her, but there was this weird sense of familiarity about her, you know? She asked me if Brian was home, and when I told her yes, she just pushed past me. She walked right in, as if she had every right to be there. And of course, she did.”

The muscles in my jaw tightened as I listened. Each word she spoke made me want to hunt this bastard down, but I forced myself to stay still, to be what she needed right now.

“Brian was in the living room when she barged in. He jumped to his feet, staring at her, his face white. And I... I had no idea what was going on. I asked who she was, and she looked at me, her eyes filled with so much hurt. ‘I’m his wife,’ she said.”

“Jesus Christ,” I breathed out, my arms instinctively tightening around her. The thought of Cassidy standing there, her world shattering in front of her made me physically sick. “What happened after that?”

Cassidy’s voice cracked, and I felt my stomach twist in anger. “Brian didn’t deny it. He just stood there, silent, while she poured out everything. How they’d been married for years, how they had kids, two girls. How she had no idea about me until a week ago. I remember her asking me how I could not know. And I didn’t have an answer. I just stood there, feeling like the ground had disappeared beneath me.”

Her shoulders sagged. “I don’t remember much after that. I walked out. Left them there. Brian called me, over and over, but I didn’t pick up. I went to Hannah’s place and stayed there for days.”

“What did Brian say? After?”

“He tried to apologize. Said he loved me, that it was all a mistake, that he’d make it right. He even tried to tell me he’d leave her.” She let out a hollow laugh. “Like somehow that would fix anything.”

I closed my eyes, trying to keep my breathing steady. “Cassidy. You didn’t deserve that. Not a single fucking part of it.”

“I feel so stupid, you know? He had a whole other life, a whole family, and I had no clue.”

My heart ached for her, for everything she’d gone through. I wished I could take it all back, erase the hurt. But all I could do was hold her and hope that somehow, that was enough.

“Yeah, so that’s my story. That’s why I’ll never marry again.” She snorted. “I can’t even say again. Brian’s first marriage was valid. The second, not so much. It was annulled, like it never existed. Like all those years of my life just didn’t happen.” Her voice caught. “I don’t even get to call him my ex-husband. It fucks with my head so much. That’s why I don’t talk about it. No one knows the full extent of it. Not even Hannah.”

The fact that she’d told me and no one else was a big fucking deal, but I figured mentioning that would be a bad idea. “What does she think happened?”

“Just that he cheated on me. Not that it was like cheating on steroids. The sheer effort he had to go to, to balance his two lives, to keep us separate. He was very, very committed to his lifestyle.”

“What a fuckstick.”

She actually laughed at that, which eased the iron band around my chest just a little. “You can say that again.”

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