Page 21 of Rebels Rising

When the man grinned at her, teeth on full display and happiness shining through so brightly it was almost blinding, I looked away. My heart clenched with the memory of what could have been, but betrayal stung, it’s barbs digging far deeper than ever before. Before I could stop it, a single tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. I didn’t bother to wipe it away.

My loneliness was an ever-present demon that latched on and sucked the joy out of me at the most random of moments. I could never guess when it was strike, and I was never quite prepared for the onslaught of agony and longing it caused.

That life wasn’t for me. I was doomed to be alone.

But one thing was for certain. Even if I had managed to escape, even if I had done so without Libby by my side like we’d always planned, I would return for her. I would make my way back and free her from that hell. And if I had to give my life to do it, then so be it.

???

I glared at the ruins of the building I had been calling home for the past few weeks. I wasn’t sure what had set me off this time, but I was kicking myself for my lack of control. My lapses were become more frequent as of late, and I couldn’t quite pinpoint the triggers.

And I knew it was more than one, because every time I managed to figure one out, another ten would take its place.

Objectively, I was aware that I was experiencing a form of post-traumatic stress, but there wasn’t much to be done for it. It wasn’t like I could just waltz into a therapist’s office and demand they fix me. I mean, I could, but it would be like shining a beacon on my whereabouts and I’d be back with the people who had left me in this state in the first place. Sure, I intended to return, but not to stay.

This was a delicate mission, but thanks to my blackouts and meltdowns I found I needed to move on more frequently that I would have liked.

I had only been in this location for a measly three weeks. The shortest I had ever been anywhere before I needed to move on. Now, I was going to have to run and hide as far away from here as possible. Likely, I would need to stowaway on a ship and find a new planet to hide on. I was running out of places to lay low.

Frustrated with myself and my lack of control, especially when I prided myself on my control, I pulled at my hair that had grown so long I had taken to wearing it in a single braid down my back to keep the dirt and tangles at bay.

I was going to have to cut it now, anyway. Each time I left I changed another aspect of myself to avoid detection. I didn’t want anyone to recognise me if I was caught on surveillance cameras. My hair would be the next part of me I altered.

I moved it over my shoulder, stroking down the long, brown strands as sorrow filled me up until I was ready to burst. When was I going to have the freedom to simply be myself? How many times was I going to need to change a part of me to pretend I was someone else?

Would I change too much that I no longer recognised the woman I had become?

???

I blinked my eyes open and stretched my limbs out wide as I returned to consciousness. I was comfortable in this bed, more comfortable than I could remember being in a long time. It was warm and cozy, the mattress soft and pliant beneath my body, yet still firm enough to support me. It was a fantastic bed, I had to admit.

But it was the feeling of being well-rested that made me not want to leave.

A small, warm body squirmed against me, and the reason for my awakening was quickly revealed. Baldr was wriggling to get out of the covers, reaching towards Dave Junior who was glaring at him from his spot on his own bed in the corner of the room. He caught me looking and huffed, hismuzzle pushing forward as if in a pout. It was adorable, quite frankly, but the jealousy he seemed to harbour over Baldr sleeping in my bed over him was something we would need to address eventually. It had nothing to do with Bal and everything to do with Junior’s sheer size. He simply wouldn’t fit.

It was clear Bal was eager and excited to explore and play with the young Kikshrut (it was nice to finally put a name to his species), but it was definitely not reciprocated. I would have to do some more research into Kikshruts to find out more on their social behaviours. I was hoping it was something Junior would grow out of, or at least learn to overcome, but I did have some concerns that they were naturally attention hoggers and sharing the limelight would cause tension.

Though when I thought more about it, it was probably just Dave Junior. He wasn’t used to my attention being split between him and any other children. After all I’d gleaned from his behavioural patterns, he acted more like a child than an animal, so I would continue to treat him as such and hope he’d mature like a person as he aged.

I picked Bal up, dodging his flailing limbs as he continued his attempts to reach Dave Junior, and walked us into the connected bathroom, placing him on top of the toilet seat. Once Dave Junior was out of sight, he seemed to forget about him, choosing to perform an incredible feat of acrobatics in order to wedge his foot firmly inside his mouth. I shook my head as drool dribbled down his chin and his leg, closing the door behind me securely so he couldn’t escape while my attention was on getting ready.

The shower was just like the ones on The Carina, so I stripped and stepped in to let it coat me with the dirt-eating bubbles and then blast me with air to dry me off. It was quick and efficient, which I was grateful for because when I stepped back out and began to dress, Baldr crawled off the toilet and toddled towards the door. The door that opened to let him out as soon as he placed his saliva-coated hands on the open button.

The button that too high for him to reach…

Everything that happened within the span of the next few ticks took me long enough to process that I didn’t immediately jump into action, stunned into a statue.

Bal was glowing the same blue that I emanated whenever I connected to my abilities, and he waslevitatingin the air to reach the button. Thedoors slid open at his request to reveal Dave Junior who had been sniffing at the door, waiting for us to come back out. Once he saw the floating, glowing toddler, he started growling in distress and confusion, his immediate response to attack and protect me from the perceived threat.

I finally snapped out of it when Bal was being dragged back down by his foot in Dave Junior’s mouth. ‘Dave Junior, you drop him this instant!’

Both children turned to look at me, shocked at the unusually sharp, shrill tone of my voice. Slowly, Dave Junior allowed Baldr’s foot to slip from his mouth, his sharp, venomous teeth snagging on the bottom of his little jumpsuit leg. Bal, however, was completely unfazed, taking my new tone as a game. He must have sensed that he wasn’t in the line of fire, but he was still levitating and steadily floating higher, right alongside my blood pressure.

‘Bal, come down now, please,’ I tried with a gentler tone, inching forward because I knew that he would dart out of my reach as soon as I got close. It was my own fault really. MineandLibby’s. We’d played games with him just like this while trapped inside The Program’s testing facility, so he hadn’t caught on that I was being serious.

I should have realised it would backfire on me one day.

When his eyes lit up and his face split into a wide, mischievous, gap-toothed grin, I knew I was screwed. All it took was one step forward and he was shooting out the still-damaged door and into the maze of corridors in the belly of the ship.

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