Page 30 of Rebels Rising

Was that evil of me? Perhaps, but we all had to get our kicks somewhere.

I was hoping that he would take the rejection lightly and allow the experience to open him up to the possibility of letting someone else into our relationship. Obviously not Eloria, but I had a certain cyborg in mind.

This could be good. This could be very good.

Xander and Eloria continued their intellectual sparring with an enthusiasm that bordered on the absurd, but I watched on in amusement as Xander’s interest quickly morphed into something softer and more flirtatious. It was subtle, and I wasn’t sure anyone else in the room caught onto it, but I noticed the way he leaned forward a little more as if edging closer to her. I saw the way his eyes flashed with intrigue whenever she retorted, especially when her statements challenged his. I even noted how he shot her that little smirk that was usually only reserved for me.

Ha! Called it.

Eloria, however, remained oblivious and completely unfazed without a hint of reciprocation. While I was enjoying the back and forth between the two and the potential it could open up for him when he finally realised he could have his cake and eat it, too, it was also kind of sad. She would never see him in that light, and another part of me, separate from my mischievousness, rose up, ready to protect him from his own feelings if need be. The last thing I wanted was for him to feel any sort of pain at the inevitable rejection, but at the same time I knew it was best to just let things play out naturally. He hated meddling.

If things went too far, if his feelings for her grew too potent, then I would nip it in the bud, I vowed. For now, I would sit back and relax as he did his thing.

The door slid open then, halting the flow of the conversation as Artemis stepped through, her expression one of determination. Everyone’s backs went ramrod straight as we waited patiently for her to speak. Seeing that, however, only worked to ramp up the tension coiling her muscles, and she walked stiffly to the chair she had seemingly claimed as her own. The rest of us had given it a wide berth for her.

‘Good to see your feet back on the ground, Artemis,’ Eloria smirked, effectively ending the oppressive silence and the awkwardness that had come with it. ‘You ready to make that call now?’

‘Yes. I just want to get it out of the way,’ Arty said on a sigh. I couldn’t necessarily understand the reasons behind her reluctance from personal experience, but I at the very least understood how daunting it could be that she was meeting her lover’s parents for the first time. On top of that, I was fairly sure this would be her first time speaking with royalty. I had no clue if she even knew the proper etiquette and customs, but as Eloria brought up the hologram to connect the call I realised it was a bit too late for that now.

I caught Xander’s eye and tilted my head to indicate we should leave. He seemed reluctant to, his gaze catching first on Eloria until he acknowledged that their conversation was now over, and then on Artemis who was already in the process of connecting to the Griknot’s royal security in order to – hopefully – get transferred directly to the king and queen.

I didnotwant to stick around for that conversation. I was no longer welcome on Grik after my family had excommunicated me, the shame of my sexuality – or lack thereof, to be more specific – was a blight not only on them but on the Griknot race as a whole. The last thing I wanted was to have to face the damn leaders of the very people who found me lacking.

Not today, fates. Or ever, thank you very much.

Unfortunately, Artemis was patched through quicker than I thought possible. The holographic images of two green-hued Griknots in Royal Guard garb flickered into view. Their faces were stoic and severe as they inundated Artemis with questions, and I tugged on Xanders hand, desperate to leave.

He allowed me to lead him from the cockpit, keeping our fingers intertwined as we made our way through the narrow corridors and finally into the room we had claimed for ourselves. It was a closet, really, but everywhere else would have included roommates and rotations and we’d wanted our privacy. Instead of a bed, we’d piled blankets and pillows into a makeshift nest on the floor. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but both Xander and I had slept in worse places. What was important was that we were together, and that was enough. I could have slept peacefully on the cold hard floor if I had him by my side.

Plus, he made for an excellent mattress and his body was like a furnace, so I would have been comfortable and warm regardless. It was his comfort I was the most concerned about here.

Memories assaulted me from when I was strapped down to that damn metal table, and without conscious thought I began scratching at a phantom itch on my arm, directly over where a faint silver scar still remained from when the scientists had cut into me on that metal table when he turned to face me in the cramped room, a small smile tilting up the corners of his lips. It quickly fell, however, when he noticed the action and what I imagined was a suddenly sombre expression twisting my features. I felt the way my muscles pinched, pulling my lips down alongside my brows.

‘What is it?’ he demanded. ‘What’s wrong, my love?’

‘We haven’t talked about what happened to me yet,’ I blurted, almost regretting the words as they left my mouth before realising this conversation was very much needed. Both of us needed a nudge to open up about that particular topic, the gruesome details needing release even if we would rather bury our heads in the ground and pretend it never happened. It was currently an angry cloud hanging above us, dark and looming despite our efforts to ignore it. Watching Artemis push through all of the bullshit to do what needed to be done shone a light on our cowardice, and the last thing either of us were was cowardly.

It was time to put our brave faces on and stand tall against the mounting darkness.

He remained silent, patiently waiting for me to speak and tell this story however I saw fit. He didn’t reach out to me either, already knowing I wouldn’t be able to get through it if he showed me any sign of sympathy. If he touched me, we both knew I’d just break down into a trembling mess of snot and tears and intelligible mumblings. I needed to speak my truth and stand by it on my own.

I’d just let myself be a trembling mess as soon as it was done.

‘What happened to me and Reece…’ I started, my throat closing as my mouth went dry. I took a moment to wet my lips and open throat back up to let the words out. ‘The torture we went through at the hands of The Program… I’m not sure how much you want to know.’

‘Tell me whatever you’re comfortable telling me, my love,’ he assured me, and I sent him a wobbly smile.

‘They knocked us out, and when we woke up things weren’t so bad at first. All they did was send in some nurses to check our vitals and monitor us.But then the scientists would came. They went for Reece first, but they made me…’ I cleared my throat, the words stuck there and refusing to budge, but I forced them out. ‘They made me watch. We were shackled to metal tables, bound and unable to move. I couldn’t help him. I’d never felt so helpless…’

‘Addy,’ he breathed on a choked whisper, muscles bunching as he held himself back from scooping me into his arms.

I held up a hand between us to stop him, and he settled back against the shelves. He didn’t relax though, not matter how hard he tried to imitated calm.

‘They cut into him. No anaesthesia. No numbing or pain relief. They just started tearing into him right down to the bone. Then they took a syringe filled with this silver liquid and injected it straight into his marrow. He screamed. Stars, Xan, the way hescreamed… And they didn’t even flinch. I begged for them to stop, but they didn’t even glance in my direction. Not until they were done with him. Then they did the same to me, forcing him to watch while he bled out on the table and I…’

I paused to breathe, my inhalations deep and grounding as I attempted to push the emotions connected to these fresh memories to the side. I just needed to tell it, and then I could get let it all back in again.

My nails scratched stinging grooves down my arms, adding red lines parallel to the silver ones as the memories assaulted me. The way the pain took a few beats to register in my brain. The sharp sting of the scalpels slicing into my flesh, splitting apart skin and muscle alike. The stabbing of the needle as it was jabbed into my bones.The burn.

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