‘That’s… unusual for a Griknot,’ I commented lightly.
She snorted, but there was no real amusement to the sound. ‘That’s an understatement,’ she said, the bitterness resurfacing and confirming my suspicions.
‘Is Xander asexual too, then?’
She flinched, the topic apparently hitting an open wound I hadn’t realised was bleeding.‘Uh, no. No, he’s not.’
I tilted me head to the side, unable to comprehend how that relationship would work. ‘How do you satisfy him then?’
She reared back as if I’d hit her, a deep pain in her eyes as she tried her best to hold back her emotions.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said quickly, reaching out to lay a hand on her arm and rub soothing circles on her skin with my thumb. ‘I don’t mean to be insensitive. I’m just trying to understand the dynamics of your relationship. I’m notparticularly well-versed in these things. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. It’s none of my business.’
She slipped her hand beneath mine, tangling our fingers together tightly but the rest of her relaxed at my explanation. ‘No, it’s okay. It’s just hard for me to think about, that I’m not enough. My family exiled me when they realised I wasn’t as into sex like I was supposed to be, like everyone else, and Xander says he’s okay not having sex as long as we’re together but I don’t want to hold him back, you know? I’m not giving him up, but I know I can’t give him everything he needs. It’s an argument we have a lot, actually.’
I scowled at the agony in her words, the suffering she’d gone through at the hands of the people who were supposed to love her unconditionally. I wanted to beat them into their graves for making her feel like she was less than simply because she wasn’t interested in sex.
An image materialised in my mind of her parents pushing her to fuck people while she fought them off, some nameless, faceless Griknot attempting to force himself on her despite her protests while her parents stood back and watched.
I yanked her against me, wrapping my arms around her as rocked her back and forth. I stroked my hand over her hair, the thick strands smooth like drying seaweed, and pressed my lips to her forehead. ‘You’re giving him everything he needs, Addy. I promise you. I’ve seen the way that man looks at you. I’ve seen the way he would do anything for you. Just because you don’t want to fuck him doesn’t make you any less of a woman, or any less of a Griknot, or any less ofanything.’
I crushed her to me further when she burst into tears, her fingers clawing at my jumpsuit as the deep-seated pain from her past was validated and set free. At least in this room between the two of us, she didn’t have to pretend to be someone she wasn’t.
Light spilled into the room as the door was wrenched open, a masculine growl emanating from whomever had interrupted our moment.
‘What did you do?’ He demanded, his voice low and threatening. It was Xander, and he waspissed.
I twisted my head to look up at him, ensuring Addy remained in my embrace. ‘We’re bonding.’
My answer made Addy hiccup a laugh through her tears and she pulled back enough to look up at her boyfriend. ‘That’s a pretty good description, actually.’
I gazed back down at her, taking in her puffy eyes and the snot bubbling from her nose and held back a laugh at the state of her. ‘We switched.’
It took her a moment to understand, but she gave me a watery grin when she did. ‘I’m so glad we’re friends, Arty.’
My own eyes stung with tears at her genuine comment, and my lips wobbled as they stretched into an equally watery grin. She felt like home. Not like Libby, but no less comforting. I didn’t know how to explain it, but sitting here with Addy I felt like I belonged.
I heard more than saw Xander’s discomfort as he shuffled from foot to foot and he cleared his throat awkwardly. ‘Ah, right. Bonding.’
‘I was just explaining our relationship to her,’ Addy told him. ‘She was curious.’
Silence.
‘What?’
My cheeks burned as I gawped at her in mortification, then I quickly turned to address Xander and clear up any misunderstandings. ‘She means she was telling me about her asexuality. I wasn’t asking for any details, about the, um, intimacy between the two of you, I promise,’ I clarified.
Xander’s whole face flushed a deep crimson, all the way to the tips of his ears. His mouth opened and closed as if he were struggling to find a response and was coming up with nothing. Instead, a strangled sound escaped his throat that made his blush darken even further.
‘Right,’ he finally settled on, the word coming out gruffly. He cleared his throat.
I rose up from the nest –theirnest – and wiped at my jumpsuit like it was covered in dust or dirt just to give my hands something to do. ‘I’ll just…’ I pointed towards the open door that Xander was blocking. ‘I should go.’
‘No, wait,’ Addy grabbed my hand, preventing me from barrelling out of the room. ‘We got sidetracked. I still need to talk to you about Reece.’
Xander frowned, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. His large presence made the already cramped room stifling, and I was glad Iwasn’t claustrophobic. There was barely any room to breathe without the action brushing up against another body.
‘What’s going on with Reece?’ Xander asked her, and she blew out a shaky breath.