Page 43 of Rebels Rising

Foryk had shuttered himself away in the furthest recesses of the room, unwilling to participate in the mourning traditions with us as an active member of our family. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. He hadn’t been my brother for a long time, his betrayal still a sting that burned its way through my veins. It wasn’t even that I hadn’t moved on from her, but the fact that I’d had to do so because my own flesh and blood had gone behind my back to steal her from me in the first place.

But that was neither here nor there. Our sire was dead. Our mother’s mate torn from her. Our family was nothing but tattered remains of what once was, and I had no idea where to begin to even try to sew it back together again. I didn’t think it was even possible.

I had never felt more alone than I did in that moment.

Mother was leaning against me, the weight of her grief too much for her to bear alone. I was struggling to hold myself up, let alone the both of us, but I did my best. With Father gone, that left me as the man of the family. It was now my duty to protect and provide, to support the rest of us to the best of my ability. Mother should have taken up the responsibility, but it was clear that she would be incapable of functioning well enough to take care of herself let alone others. I couldn’t leave her to face that fate, so I was taking it upon myself instead.

Not for the first time since we’d secluded ourselves away to complete our traditional mourning ceremonies I wished I had Artemis by my side. I’d seen the way she behave with Prince Brommyt. I’d even seen the way she’d interacted with others within the group, the slight flirtations or the even the outright sexual tension. Cadmus Alaida was the worst offender for that one besides the Griknot princeling.

It hurt beyond measure to watch her move on with not one but multiple other men, but I took solace in the fact that she was no longer alone. Sure, shestill had Liberty, but their relationship was purely platonic. Artemis deserved all the love the universe and beyond had to offer, and I would still provide that for her even if she no longer reciprocated those feelings back to me.

The most significant downside to that, however, was that I had no one to support me in moments like these where I would have supported her. The utter despair I felt over my loneliness only increased with the realisation. I had given my heart away and I didn’t want it back, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t suffering for it.

I took a steadying breath. I deserved this suffering. I had broken the trust between us and now I had to face the consequences of my actions. For her, for my mother, even for Foryk, the undeserving bastard, I would take this pain and let it forge me into something new. I would be their pillar of strength even when the cracks widened and the stone started to crumble. I would take their pain as my own, fight their battles alongside them, and provide a safety net from the shadows for as long as my breath filled my lungs.

My stomach grumbled loudly, breaking through the compressing silence of the room. Two more empty stomachs protested the lack of food, and I squashed my guilt over wishing the fasting would end. We were to mourn for three days, uninterrupted, with no food or water, no speaking, only silence as we remembered our fallen loved one. Personally, I never liked the practice, but I knew that Mother would have thrown a fit of epic proportions if we hadn’t all come together to perform our sacred duty. She would have seen it as dishonouring him and his memory, of all the things he had done for us.

I didn’t think Foryk much appreciated being stuck here, forced into hunger and silence in memory of the man who had disowned him. However, there was a sadness that emanated from him that made me believe he was taking part in the process with much more intent than I was. He had always taken the Tornu traditions seriously despite his singular infraction. I, however, was more interested in branching out and experiencing other cultures. My personal beliefs were that we should honour our traditions while merging with others. Growth and forward momentum that encompassed all races was something I strived to achieve, though this was a newer development. I had been like Foryk once, before everything went to shit. I had been loyal to my people’s culture to a fault.

Now, it didn’t seem so important. What was the point in being loyal to people who couldn’t care less if they were loyal to you? Not that Tornus were known for being backstabbers, but when it did happen it seemed that most people simply turned a blind eye. That, or they punished everyone associated with those who were responsible for the indiscretion. The latter was what had gotten us involved with The Program in the first place, no thanks to Foryk.

My blood boiled at the memory, but I shoved it back down to it’s usual simmer. I wasn’t going to get over Foryk’s betrayal any time soon, if ever, but I was going to have to find some way to be civil with him, especially while Artemis was in the picture. I didn’t think there was anything going on between the two of them, but if I ever found out he’d even so much as looked at her sideways all bets would be off. I’d tear the traitorous fuck in two before anyone could even so much as blink.

But those thoughts weren’t useful in this moment. My heart was torn in two over it anyway. Some part of me wanted to be his big brother like before, protective, loving, and loyal even to my own detriment. The other part wanted nothing to do with him. It was split pretty evenly down the middle, which made this entire ordeal even more painful.

Mother wasn’t even looking at him. She’d been a wreck when everything went down all those solars ago, and the shame of his actions had proven too much for her to handle. Banishing him from our family had chipped off a little piece of her soul that she’d never managed to get back, so I understood her need for him to be here for this. I always knew she wanted him back, to be a whole family again.

That would never be a possibility now that Father was gone. Foryk’s presence now was merely a paper-thin bandage that didn’t even try to cover the gaping wound of her loss. Our loss. Whether I liked it or not, Foryk had lost his father for good, too, and he deserved at least as much as this moment to grieve the proper way.

I just wished none of this was even necessary in the first place, but time travel wasn’t possible. Father was dead, mother was an empty shell, Foryk was still a piece of shit on the bottom of my shoe that refused to budge as it stank out my entire life, and I was still a lonely bastard bathing in his own misery and self-pity.

These past two days had given me enough time to mull over it all, and it had only succeeded in causing the pressure threatening to implode my heart to grow steadily and dangerously.

Exhausted from the mental toll, I decided to take a nap. Hopefully, sleep would allow the time to pass more quickly to be done with this. Three days wasn’t enough time to mourn my father, anyway. That would stay with me for the rest of my life.

???

I slept through the majority of the remaining time left in our mourning period, happy that I only awoke for the last stretch.

When the timer went off to signify the end, Foryk was up and out of the room before anyone could speak, leaving us behind without even a single glance back. Mother was still too far gone to notice, or even care, but I did. I wanted to chase after him and demand he show her the respect she deserved, but I knew that wouldn’t end well. This ship was filled with too many soldiers, all of which had just fought against the very people we were working for. I doubted they would take my side if it came to blows, protecting their own over the idiot that found himself working for the enemy.

I chose to focus me efforts on something more worthwhile. We needed sustenance, and Mother still wasn’t in any state of take care of herself so I would just have to do it for her. I pressed a kiss to her cheek and let her know I was heading out for some food, and her nod of acknowledgement filled me with hope that she would pull through. She wasn’t as far gone as I’d thought.

I headed into the connecting bathroom with a change of clothes, not wanting to head out into the belly of the beast whilst wearing a flashing neon sign to point out where my allegiances had once been. I quickly freshened up and changed into the jumpsuit that would let me blend in more with the rest of the ship’s occupants, stuffing my old Program uniform into a small ball that I hid in the cupboard beneath the sink. I could incinerate it later to destroy all evidence of my involvement with those psychopaths. It would be one of the most therapeutic moments of my life, and I was eager to get started on my new life away from them.

I gave myself a quick once-over in the mirror to ensure there was no visible signs of my previous employment status but realised how silly that was as I was doing it. With the uniform gone, no one would know unless they already did. I looked just like anyone else.

Satisfied, I left to hunt down the kitchens. I doubted there would be anything more than Nutri-Bars available, but sustenance was sustenance, and we couldn’t always be picky.

The corridors were bright and clean as I wound my way through them. The fluorescent lights caused a dull thudding in my head after three days spent in the dark with no food or drink. The metallic clang of my boots against the floor echoed around me, adding to the brewing headache.

Relief filled me as I noted the sign pointing me towards the cafeteria and the kitchens, but entering the cafeteria was a nightmare in and of itself. This was where the children had been set up, hundreds of them screaming and screeching, clawing at the walls as countless adults ran around in an attempt to corral them. There seemed to be some sort of method to the madness, but that didn’t stop the cacophony of chaos from blasting my skull to pieces. I didn’t even stop long enough to wonder over the fact that many of the children was floating in the air or spurting fur and claws. I simply ran through the chaos and burst through the door to the kitchen, slamming it closed behind me.

My eyes were scrunched shut as I massaged my temples in a desperate bid for relief, which was how I missed the fact that the kitchen was already occupied. The sound of a husky voice clearing their throat had my eyes snapping open and my head whipping in their direction.

There stood Artemis, Baldr held securely in her arms while the damn Kikshrut sat at her feet, lips pulled back menacingly to reveal fatally venomous teeth dripping red like it had already shredded its kill.

If the Nutri-Bar on a plate on the floor before it wasn’t there, I would have believed that were the case. Instead, it growled at me and stood protectively in front of Artemis and Baldr. Her eyes widened as they took me in, the air thickening with unspoken words and a deep tension that was practically tangible.

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