Page 13 of Rox

I tell her to call her mom, and I’ll be right back. I rush to my room and slip on a pair of basketball shorts and a tee. I’m back in the living room in two minutes, which was more than enough time for Angel to start mumbling while unsuccessfully attempting to leave. I take him into the kitchen and sit his ass down at the table. I grab him a glass of water and make him drink it all. Rox comes in a moment later, letting me know her mom is on her way with Goblin and Burrito.

Rox leaves the room, and Angel and I sit in silence for a moment. “You better not hurt her,” he says. He may be drunk, and we may have told him otherwise, but he sees the truth. But it’s not something I’m going to confirm with him yet. As much as I want her, as much as she’s mine to me, she still calls all the shots. And right now, she hasn’t said go.

“Again, nothing’s going on, but regardless, I have no intentions of hurting her.”

“I didn’t either, but nothing I do seems to be right anymore. With her or anyone.”

Seven

Roxie

“I’m sorry, you did what?” Manda asks me. She’s giving me a look like I’ve fucked up royally, and truth be told, I feel that way. I had him right there, wrapped around me, and I walked away. I was feeling everything and stopped it all. All the passion was washed away like a tsunami hit. Somehow, I allowed Angel to get in my head and ruin something that had the potential to be the best I’d ever have. “Girl, what the fuck? Like, what the actual fuck? Mimic obviously wants you. What were you thinking?”

“Obviously, I wasn’t. Or I was too much? I don’t even know. Angel showing up and saying all the shit he did, he got in my head,” I tell her sheepishly.

She lets out a dramatic sigh as she throws her head back before looking at me again. “Look, I get it. I was there. I understand this weird way of life we live, but babe, you can’t give Angel that much power. He’s so out of touch right now. It’s clear he’s struggling more than normal. You can’t take anything he says seriously right now.”

“While I know that, deep down, it’s also hard not to. He’s been in my life for so long and protected me when I needed it. Our lives are pretty similar, and it’s hard not to listen to him. I see his pain, and I don’t want to end up like him.”

“I get it, but you’re nothing alike. Sure, shits happened that’s fucked as all, but you two are still very different. I know he cares about you, but with whatever is hurting him right now, you can’t allow it to alter your decisions.”

I know she’s right, but what’s done is done. I already told Mimic we needed to stop, and I needed to figure my shit out. I can’t go back yet. I’d look desperate, or like a liar, or as someone who doesn’t know what she wants. And with our age difference, the last thing I want is to make him think he’s wrong and I’m too young, too immature for him.

“It’s clear you like him.”

“If it’s so clear, why didn’t it become clearer sooner? Why is it after he stood up for me that I noticed him?”

She sits there for a moment, clearly thinking of the best way to answer. She takes a sip of her wine, then rolls her wrist inward, placing the glass on her cheek. “I think it was simply the push you needed. You’ve been guarded regarding these men, and for good reason. We’ve had the talks before about how sexy they are and how attractive the guys back in Wyman are, too. You honestly can’t tell me you forgot about my obsession with Daddy Artem.”

I immediately started laughing because I had. She was so obsessed with that man. “I did. Oh my God, how could I have forgotten about that?”

“Fuck, he’s so hot. I wonder what he’s doing.”

“Not you,”

“Bitch!” She mock yells at me before wiping away a nonexistent tear from her eye, “I know, though. I wish.”

“I’ll make sure your husband never finds out.”

She waves her hand dismissively and takes another sip. “Naw, it’s fine. I know what I’ve got, and I love it. Anyway, we’ve had those conversations. You’ve said before that you find Mimic attractive. But you’ve been so reserved in allowing yourself to want a man because of your past. I think you naturally put your shields to keep yourself safe. Mimic broke through those shields, and you were able to see him more clearly. It was the push you needed. But deep down, you’ve felt this way about him.”

Thinking about what she’s laid out, I think she’s right. While I forgot about Daddy Artem, I didn’t forget about our late-night talks about the men that surround us almost daily. Mimic has always been the one who I’ve gravitated to, but she’s correct again with her comment about my shields. With what happened before, trusting people with my heart, mind, and body isn’t easy. Could it be that I was giving him a test without realizing it, and he passed?

“How long do I wait before I go back to him, though? I don’t want to look desperate.”

“Are you kidding me? That isn’t possible.”

“How so?”

“Look, it’s not obvious to any of the men here, but they’re stupid boys so that checks out, but it’s clear to me. And your mom—”

“—What!”

She again waves her hand dismissively, “Please, she’s good with it. I’ve seen the way she reacts to you two. Trust me, she supports it. Anyway, not clear to the men, clear to Mom and me, Mimic is obsessed with you. Probably already in love with you. It’s physically impossible for you to come off as desperate to him. He will give you everything you ask for and everything you don’t. You don’t need to make him wait.”

Taking a large gulp of wine, I finish off my drink, “You think?”

“I know.”

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