Page 27 of Rox

“Well, that won’t do, will it? I’ll talk to him. Go start your crafts, I’ll be back.” I turn and walk toward the barn before I stop and turn back to my siblings. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much. I’ve been working a lot, but I’ll try and be around more, too.” I’d walked back so I could give them each a hug before I headed off to find our dad.

I look around the farm I grew up on. I went from the farm in Wyman to the one here in Heart. I loved growing up this way. It’s a different life growing up in an atmosphere surrounded by animals. I loved being able to take care of them. Plus, I like animals a lot more than I like people, which is funny given my profession.

Sometimes, I think about how I should have gone to school to help the families my parents help, but I realized something right away with that: it would never work. My trauma from when I was younger, I’ve made peace with it. I’ve accepted that my life is what it is, but I can’t handle listening to others. There are times when I can discuss it with someone, especially if I care about them, but I wouldn’t be able to listen to new traumas day in and day out. I’m tough, but I know I’m not mentally tough enough for that. And it wouldn’t be fair to those who need the help.

Plus, there are times when I’d rather just take care of it the way my dad and his MC do. He shelters us from it, but I know the truth. My mom does, too.

I smile as I think back to when I wouldn’t stop asking questions. The older I got, the more I wanted to know. The more I wanted to learn. For a while, I was positive I was going to be amember. It was my calling. I would help my dad with everything, rise through the ranks, and when the time came, I’d take over and be the President.

I can’t help but thinking if I were a member, I wouldn’t need this backup plan he’s so desperate for me to have. At the same time, he’d probably pull rank and demand it.

“I said no!” I hear my dad bark as I knock on his office door. I try the handle, but he’s locked himself in there. “Get back to work! I am busy!” Geez, who pissed in his cornflakes?

I contemplate finding Mom, having her come here, and talking Dad down from his ledge. I want to talk it out with him, but I can’t if this mood continues. If you want to work it out with him, having your mom handle this is not the way to go about it. Fuck, I hate when I’m right. I knock softly and bring out the big gun, “Daddy?”

I hear boots shuffle, and a split second later, my dad, my first best friend in life and one of my fiercest protectors, is standing in front of me.

I’m not sure if it’s the adrenaline from being followed, missing my dad and who we were so much, or the broken look in his eyes when he opened the door for me, but I can’t help the emotions that bubble up to the surface. I jump to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He stands shocked still for a minute before he wraps his arms around my back, holding me against him.

I sob my apologies for being so stubborn and pushing him away. He makes soothing shush noises as he leads me into his office to close the door. He doesn’t break contact as he closes it. I can’t bring myself to let him go just yet. I need to be a little girl, holding her dad for comfort for just a few more moments.

“I let it get too far,” Dad tells me after a while of us standing there. “I was like a dog with a bone and couldn’t see reason. I wanted to think I knew better than you for what was best foryou.” He’s rambling now, and I can’t help the giggle that bubbles up. I pull back and look him in the eyes.

“Oh, what a pair we make, hmm, Dad?” I smile. It’s the first genuine smile in what feels like a year. He nods, using his hands to wipe away the wetness from my cheeks. Holding my face in his palms, he leans in to place a soft, loving kiss on my forehead.

“I am sorry. I see it now and understand why you were so mad at me. Why your mom was so mad at me.” I must make a face because he laughs while shaking his head, “Oh, yeah. She was, is maybe still, so mad because of, and I quote, “my dickhead mindset.” It’s taken a lot, and I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize I needed to let you make your own path in life. Trust me, clarity is here. I wanted to talk to you a while ago, but you weren’t ready to hear me yet.” he explains as he looks into my eyes so I can see his sincerity.

“I think I was more hurt than mad at that point. Pushing you away, I knew, would cause hurt, and I felt justified in that. Until you stopped coming by, stopped trying to call me. Stopped pushing for anything. You weren’t there anymore, and that opened my eyes to what you were trying to say. It also gave me the time to reflect and realize how much I still need you.

I’ll be fifty and still need my dad. Your bad advice and all.” I smile at him.

Seeing his smile light up his face is a sight I didn’t realize I missed. Who knew being chased by a psycho in a van was going to break the crap Dad and I have been going through? The thought of the guy or girl following me brings a stab of fear through me.

I contemplated telling him why I was there when his office door busted open to reveal Angel.

I know what he sees when he looks at me. He knows I’ve been crying. I’m guessing he doesn’t say anything about it becauseI’m here with my dad. Anyone else, he’d punch first and ask questions later.

Angel then turns his attention to Dad, and while I can’t read either of their expressions, they seem to be having one of their wordless conversations where they talk with only their eyes.

“Okay, that’s still annoying and creepy when you two do that. More annoying than when you and mom do it before you two hop and leave to…” I visibly shudder instead of continuing.

“Well, safe to say they haven’t been doing much of that lately,” Angel tells me with a smirk.

“Bleh, I don’t want to think about them not doing it, or them doing it… Nothing about the deed and my parents should enter my brain.” I gag and pull away from my dad to slap my pseudo-uncle and best friend.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop for now. Why are you here? Didn’t you have work today?”

“Stanford closed the shop. Everyone’s books cleared out, so he let us take the rest of the day off. I decided to put my time to good use. Figured it was time to talk to Dad and hear him out. Put this whole thing to bed. I guess I missed him almost as much as I missed you.” I smile at Angel and rest my head on his shoulder. He places a loving kiss on the top of my head.

“So, you’re all good now?” Angel asks as he looks from Dad to me.

“Yes,” my dad answers before I can. He then turns toward me, “Can you please text your mother and tell her that? I’d really like to sleep in my own bed when I get home.” Dad says as he pushes past us. I call out, letting him know I will, as he runs out the door. Shuddering, I turn to face Angel, and he laughs at me. Jerk.

“I would text your mom and then just pretend they’re away for the rest of the night.” Angel leads me away while I pretend to gag at the thought of what my parents are doing.

I text Mom to let her know Dad is in the clear and on his way to collect his prize. Angel then leads me to his truck, not his bike.

“What? No bike? And where are we going? I drove here.” I tell him as he drags me along.

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