Page 45 of Rox

“That’s—”

“—No. You don’t get to talk. You don’t know shit! You don’t know a fuckin’ thing about the hell they went through. What everyone went through.”

“I want to!” I yell at him. I pull myself away from the ring as much as possible before speaking again. “I want to know everything about her. I want to know why she trembles in her sleep sometimes and why she flinches every once in a while. But she won’t tell me a fucking thing! She hides behind club business in a club I’m a fucking part of! How can I keep her safe if you all stand there, holding onto the secrets of the past?”

Dizz gets up in my face, causing my body to fall back against the pole that holds the ring in place. “Just because you’re a member now doesn’t mean I have to share everything that happened before you showed up.”

“The fuck you don’t. Do you honestly think we should blindly follow you? You said jump, so we all ask how high?”

“Watch your damn mouth, Mimic,” I hear Omen say from behind Dizz.

“Oh, fuck off, Omen. Because you had to open your mouth, my woman is putting herself in danger.”

“If you think for a fucking moment she wouldn’t still do this regardless of what we say, you don’t know her at all.” Angel chimes in.

“I don’t know her. You all and her are doing a real good fucking job at making sure I know nothing.”

I see Dizz flex his fist and get ready to pull back. Someone tells him I’m not worth it because I’m still drunk.

“Drunk words are nothing but sober thoughts, or whatever the saying is.”

It’s the last thing I remember before pain shoots through the side of my face, and I once again meet the darkness.

Twenty Three

Roxie

He left.

I remind myself he does it for a reason. He doesn’t want to say or do something he’ll regret and can’t take back. Blah, blah, blah. He also doesn’t know how to process what he feels because he’s never had to do that for someone before. He’s been on his own, working the way he feels is best for him. I get that opening yourself up to someone is new and challenging to navigate sometimes. But it still fucking sucks that he walked out the door.

It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. So is he. Time. That’s all either of you need right now. Time.

My phone ringing brings me to the present. I find it on the couch cushion; it must have fallen out of my pocket, and I answer when I see my mom’s name.

“Hey.”

“Roxie, what the hell happened? I got a text from Mimic saying you’re gonna need someone to talk to.”

“Uh,” and as much as I didn’t want to, I sniffled, no longer allowing myself the ability to lie about it. “Yeah. Probably.”

“What happened?”

“He asked about Neil.”

“What? Why?”

“Well, he didn’t ask about him specifically. He asked about my past. He thinks Dad, Angel, and Omen are hiding something from him. Which I can’t blame him for feeling that way because he knows nothing about my entire past!”

“Baby,” she sighs, and I can picture her shaking her head, “why didn’t you just tell him?”

“Because if I tell him everything, I tell himeverything. He’ll learn about everything that happened in Colorado, along with people’s stories I don’t have the right to tell.”

“Sweetheart, I love that you want to protect Manda and everyone else, but Mimic loves you. He wants to know why you are the way you are. Your past is a large part of why you’re one of the strongest people in this world. You’ve pushed past so much you never should have had to overcome. And frankly, him finding out about what happened in Colorado isn’t a bad thing.”

“But that’s not up to us, mom. That’s up to Dad if he wants to tell his members what went down.”

“I hate this fucking club shit sometimes.”

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