Page 5 of Rox

“That’s my girl,” the words escape my lips before I can overthink them. Because in my mind, she is my girl, and I will always be here to protect her.

They continue to fight before the poor excuse for a man takes her bucket and dumps it all over the floor, and points at it. The message is clear that she is to clean it up. I start mumbling for her not to give in because she is better than this job. Better than what they are putting her through. For the past three days, I have been here, watching her through the large picture window, cleaning, and setting up. Taking phone calls and trying to build relationships with clients. But every time she seemed to be making progress, he was quick to beat her back down.

I don’t know why he acts the way he does toward her. I noticed he only goes to these extremes when the owner isn’t around, which is always, or the manager. I’m not sure if his hatred is because she’s a woman or something else. I’m determined to find out. Every bone in my body wants to defend her and make him pay for the way he treats her. But I know I need to give her time to do this her way. She’s doing this for a reason, and I can’t be the reason she fails. I’d never forgive myself.

But it doesn’t change the fact that she needs more than this. Rox needs someone who is going to nurture and cherish her natural talent. This guy is just looking for a whipping boy while she is taking it. Being a lot more patient than I ever would be at this point in time, she is doing what she needs to do before he will teach her because this means so much to her. So much so that there is an actual family rift forming because she is just as stubborn as her father. Prez means well, but he is getting too caught up in the what if and not the now.

If he lived in the now, he would see the art she has hung everywhere, the tattoos on her legs that are amazing for someone with no formal training. If he stopped and actually saw, he would see that she was in her element, and she and Angel would be the best artistic duo out there. I want all of her dreamsto come true. I will do everything I can to make sure they can be achieved by her. Even if she isn’t truly mine, her happiness is.

I take a cigarette from my back pocket and light it up. It’s dark out, so the only thing visible after I light it is the cherry with every drag I take. She’ll be getting ready to pack up and leave for her car. I know my self-appointed job for the night is almost over. I will follow her home and then take my leave back to the clubhouse on the property. I have created this new routine, and it revolves around more than the club. It revolves around the woman I am quickly losing myself over.

I can only hide it under the guise of protection for so long. I can’t keep justifying surveillance to Prez or Omen, his VP, the longer she stays here and isn’t in any immediate danger. Dizz doesn’t seem to realize what I’m doing, but Omen looks at me as if he sees the truth. One I’m not sure if I can hide much longer.

I want Rox. She’s mine. I’ve felt this way from the moment I met her.

I watch her as she picks up the bucket and heads inside. She’s back out a moment later, folding up the ladder and taking that in as well. It isn’t long after that needle dick leaves, and once she watches his car drive off, I can see her visibly relax from where I stand. I want more than anything to go up to her and make her forget about everything she had to deal with today with him. I want her to take out all of her frustration on me, but I’ll never get to have that.

She continues to clean the shop when, all of a sudden, she stops. I stand up from my perch against the wall as she turns to face out the window. Her eyes connect with mine immediately. Or they would if she could actually see me. She feels me. She knows I’m here. She gives a small smile before she runs her hand through her hair and shakes her head. It’s not much longer after the moment we shared that she leaves.

I can still feel her gaze on me. Her beautiful eyes lock me in so easily. It’s a wonder she hasn’t even caught on to how obsessed I am. Try as I might, I can’t take my eyes off of her when she walks into the same room as me. Anytime I have to review security footage, if she shows up, I take even longer because I’m entrapped by her beauty. When she doesn’t think anyone is watching, when she’s at her most vulnerable, that’s when she’s the most beautiful. It comes so naturally to her, and she doesn’t even notice it.

“Rox,” I whisper to the wind. I wish so badly that my voice would travel to her ears and she’d know for sure I’m here. She’d know I’m watching over her, keeping her safe. She’d be happy to learn how I feel. She’d want me back. But she doesn’t. There’s no way she would. She doesn’t know me, not really. None of them do.

I’m the ghost of multiple people. My life giving me one name after another. The one I was born with long gone and forgotten. No one knows the truth about who I am, where I’m from, or what I can do.But I want her to know. I would tell her anything. Nothing would be a secret from her.

Dizz wasn’t sure about me when I showed up. I couldn’t give him the answers he wanted. His past didn’t allow him to trust easily. But I was determined. I wanted him to see that I was nothing but loyal and someone good.

I’ve done a lot of fucked up things in my past lives, but I know for a fact so has he. We share that similarity. He looked past the pasts I kept hidden, and I gave him my current life in return. But this life, I know I’ll lose it if I were to take what I really wanted from it. Rox. His daughter. His reason for being. I would lose everything I have, everything I was, and everything I could have with her if he found out.

It’s an unwritten rule—don’t fuck the president’s daughter. It’s a rule I don’t want to follow. One that I definitely don’t follow in my dreams.

Mounting my bike, I turn out onto the road to follow her home after she’s gotten to the corner of the street the shop sits on. I’m sure she knows it’s someone from the MC if she sees a bike behind her, but I want her to know it’s me. I want her to smile to herself simply because it’s me. Not because it’s anyone from the club.

I know I could fix this. I could make it known…what I feel. I could be honest with her. But I can’t. Not really. Not because of her father. Fact is, at the end of the day, I don’t give two shits about her dad. He should keep me away from her, but he doesn’t. Am I signing my own death certificate? Yes. Do I care? No. Would I do it a million times over if it gave me Rox? Again, yes. The reason I don’t do what I want is because of her. I wouldn’t be able to handle the rejection from her. I don’t know for a fact if she feels the same way.

Andthatis what scares me the most.

Three

Roxie

My mom stayed a while after she and two of my siblings crashed through my front door. After they had left, I took a giant glass of wine to my bedroom and got lost in a quick read that had zero plot, a lot of sex, and allowed me to shut my brain off while I drank and read. After the short read was finished, I was able to think about my dad’s standpoint on everything. Don’t get it twisted. I still don’t agree with it, and I’m not doing it, but I understand. It also helped that I had spoken to Manda before my mom barged in, and she helped explain her take on it as a mom. Even though my mom had told me she was on my side, it’s still hard to believe because he’s her husband. They need to be united and stand together on issues that revolve around their children.

So, I took the loss, I guess you could say, and agreed to dinner. I’m not sure how much of a loss it will be on my end outside of that, as I have no intention of changing my mind when it comes to school. I’m a stubborn ass, and I come by it naturally. My dad might not be mine biologically, but he’s mine. I’m myfather’s daughter. He’s prepared for the fight. Unfortunately for me, so is Angel. He and I have always had a stronger relationship than the others here. Our pasts brought us together in a way we shouldn’t have in common, but we can’t change the bricks that built us. We can only expand and remodel. Angel and I have been able to do that together. I know more about him than any of the others do, but that doesn’t give me the advantage of having him on my side. Angel is loyal to my father as a friend and a brother.

After I allowed myself to think about everything my mom had to say, along with my dad’s opinions on it all, I texted my mom and let her know I would be there. She, so helpfully I might add, noted I had already agreed. She didn’t like it when I told her I was a liar but actually meant it this time. I’m pissed. Sue me.

Fast forward to now.

Standing outside my parents’ house, I take a deep breath to prepare myself for the onslaught of questions I know are coming my way. There’s no avoiding it. And judging by the bikes, I’m going to have an audience, too.Maybe your mom will step in. You mentioned the embarrassment before.Maybe, but sadly, I doubt it. In front of the entire club, it isn’t usually when my mom goes against my dad.

Walking into the house, I’m hit with screams from my siblings living their best lives. They don’t have to care about a thing in this world. They didn’t grow up the way I did. They didn’t experience the hell I went through. Most would say I’m jealous because of it, but I’m not. I promise I’m not. It actually makes me smile more, knowing that they will never have to experience what I did. My mother did right by me. She got me out when she found out the truth. She didn’t hesitate. It’s how we met my dad. The worst thing in my life became the best thing for my mom and me. I wouldn’t change it. Without it, I wouldn’t be as strong as I am now that I know for a fact.

Monsters will either make you hide, or they’ll bring out the inner warrior.

I became a warrior.

“Roxie!” “Roxie!” “Sister!” “Oxi!”

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