Page 55 of Rox

We’re stumbling into the house after Omen dropped us off. We’re laughing and doing a terrible job ripping each other’s clothes off. My arm gets stuck in my shirt, and he trips because he only took one boot off, and his pants got stuck. Thankfully, he didn’t fall over.

“God, we’re a fucking mess.”

“I don’t care. I want you.” I tell him as I drop to my knees and open his jeans. “No whiskey dick here.”

“Rox,” he starts but is cut off as I pull him completely out of his pants. Stroking this massive cock that he really does know how to use.

I don’t think I have appreciated the magnificentness of his cock before. I don’t care if that is not a word. It is tonight. And also, tonight, I am gonna make him scream when I take this monster in my mouth.

I spit on it like I’ve seen in porn because it looks sexy when they do it. But when I try, it just dribbles down my chin. Instead of trying to manage another glob, I run my wet chin over the head of his great cock. Getting it wet, I jerk him off at a fast pace. I run my tongue over the head and start to slowly suck him into my mouth.

After a few sloppy passes, I have enough confidence to try and take him the whole way down my throat. I want to try that swallowing technique I read about. I took him all the way back, and as soon as he hit the point of me gagging, I realized that in my full-blown desire and need for Max, I overestimated what drunk me could handle. As in, he moans, and I barf.

“Yeah, we’re a fucking mess,” I say and start to cry, and Max doesn’t think twice. He wraps me up in his arms and uses his shirt to wipe my mouth.

“Baby, it’s okay.”

“I threw up on you. It is not okay.”

“It was bound to happen. My dickishuge.”

That’s all I needed, apparently, because I forgot about the embarrassment I felt and laughed in his arms. I couldn’t be more thankful to have a man who loves me for everything I am and accepts what he can’t change or understand. And he doesn’t look down at me in disgust when I literally choke on his cock.

“You’re lucky I love you, Max.”

“I know I am.”

Twenty Seven

Mimic

Today’s the day.

Members from Wyman came here to help, and I’m grateful, but I’m still on edge. Anything can go wrong. I try to calm myself down, thinking about the good. Rox and I are great. We talked a lot more and worked it all out. The advice that Knuckles and Whitley gave us really helped, and I think having someone else she could talk to who’s been through the disappearing act helped the most.

It wasn’t an easy conversation to have. I was so fucking embarrassed by myself. Being in love with someone from afar is so different than actually having them in your arms and being able to call them yours. Rox has given me so much, and was a total dick to her.

I begged, and pleaded, and explained everything the best I could. My jumbled-up thoughts somehow made sense to her, and she understood my fears. I promised her I would be better and that I wouldn’t run anymore, and I mean it.

Since then, we’ve been talking every day, really talking, and working on ourselves. It’s been perfect.

But now, everything is less than, because everything can possibly go wrong.

I woke up at 3 am in a cold sweat, screaming for Rox. Nightmares aren’t new. I suffered from them for years after my time on the streets and in the military. Since Rox has been in my arms, they haven’t been a problem. But this new fear of the unknown is ramping them up in a way I’ve never experienced. It took me a moment to get my bearings, but when I did, I felt her stroking my face and saying my name. She also kept telling me how she’s right here and not going anywhere. She helped calm me down, but she didn’t erase my fear.

I clung to her the rest of the night. I refused to let her leave my arms. She drifted back to sleep while I stayed up in a silent panic. Her puffs of warm breath on the side of my neck were of little comfort. Nothing allowed me to go back to sleep.

I know this is important—not only for her career but for her life. Her doing this also plays a part in our ability to build a future together.

If we can’t make this threat disappear, she’ll never be able to live her life the way she deserves. She’ll have to constantly look over her shoulder while simultaneously being watched by myself and my brothers. That isn’t fair to anyone.

But the risks are making me lose my fucking mind.

This is a new level of fear. It’s one I’ve never experienced, and it’s encompassed my entire being. I’ve voiced my opinion, but it didn’t change anything.

Thankfully, the itch to run isn’t there like it was before. I know what is at stake if I leave her when she needs me the most, and I take comfort in that.

This flash sale is happening. Angel will be by her side in the open shop and will be bringing in a lot more business to raisemoney for the women’s shelter in town. It will also give Rox the exposure she needs to build her dream clientele. And if all goes right, we’ll catch Mark.

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