Page 11 of The Barren Luna

“His pack, the Eryri, would begin carving lovespoons after their first shift, which they would give to their mate upon finding them. They were meant to symbolize them putting in the workand thinking of their mate even before ever meeting them,” she said wistfully.

“Wait, the spoon? Your pendant? It’s...?” I asked, astonished, referring to the intricately carved heart-shaped wooden spoon Dorothy had worn around her neck ever since I’d known her.

“Yes,” she smiled at me warmly. “It is the only thing I have left of his. And when I die, I want you to have it.”

“Dotty, please. No death talk. Not tonight.”

“Fine. Let me tell you about the English pack in which males give females handkerchiefs soaked in their sweat so they can enjoy their scent,” she laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh, too.

5 - Ginny

On my way to the hospital, I stopped for a brief moment to admire the fireworks. Sadly, I would not get to enjoy the 4th of July party I'd put so much effort into. Instead, I would be pumped full of poppy seed in order to survive my mate’s infidelity. Pardon, the insemination of a willing volunteer for the sake of the pack’s future. For some reason, using the politically correct language didn’t do anything to lessen the pain, be it physical or emotional.

After the fiasco of trying to stoically withstand their first fuck-fest, I’d decided that I would treat myself to sweet oblivion the second time. The added bonus of the painkillers was that my wolf was dormant for a few days afterward, so I didn’t have to smell the vanilla bitch on my mate before he could sweat her out, so I hoped for the same effect this time around.

I ran my tongue over all my teeth and theatrically sucked in my cheeks a few times to relax my face before entering the hospital; with the pitying looks awaiting me, I didn’t want to seem even more tense and pathetic. Deep down, I knew it was wrong to put on a serene face for them – who cared what they thought? Also, Iwastense. And my situationwaspathetic. Why not be honestabout it? Who was I doing favors by pretending to be okay with any of this?

“Good evening, Luna,” the young nurse greeted me.

“Let’s just get this over with,” I said and it was obvious that my abruptness unsettled her.

That was a start. They prepped me and put me in a gown, and all the while, I let my emotions play out on my face. It felt refreshing. When they attached the IV to my arm, and I felt the first hit of the calm, all I could think was,so this is what letting go feels like. I like this. I want more of this.

???

Two weeks later, I was visiting old Mrs. Hemsworth, one of our widowed wolves who had no one left. This time, Liam and I were scheduled to keep her company for an afternoon. She liked to bake, so that was mostly what we did in our time together, and I genuinely enjoyed her company. All of a sudden, I felt the first tell-tale signs of cramping in my lower abdomen. The pain was familiar, but it couldn’t be that? Pretty soon another wave hit me and knocked out all the remaining doubt I felt.

“Liam,” I clutched his arm with my claws. “Take me to the pack house.”

Both he and Mrs. Hemsworth looked at me, puzzled.

“Now!” I screamed with my canines extending.

With him supporting most of my weight, we made it to the car. I writhed and cried in pain while clutching my stomach, and pretty soon, he had a good idea of what was happening to me. The warrior we stumbled upon in front of the pack house told us that the Alpha was in his office so we made our way up the stairs,with Liam basically carrying me. All in all, I reckon it took us about 20 minutes from the moment I'd started feeling the pain.

I ripped the door open, wondering whether it would fall off its hinges from the force of it, and found my mate standing next to his whore. He was zipping up his pants while she was tucking her blouse back into her skirt. Their faces were flushed and their hair mussed - even without the mate bond pain, it was pretty clear what had happened here. I think both my and Liam’s face must have shown such disgust that Henry had the good sense to look away and appear ashamed, while she pulled her shoulders back and met my gaze squarely. She couldn’t hold it for too long, her wolf being weaker than mine, but nevertheless, she tried, thereby disrespecting me even more than she already had.

Now that the pain was gone, it took the anger with it, and all that was left was sad resignation. I did not want to fight for Henry. Our relationship was beyond repair as far as I was concerned. I just wanted to not be in it anymore, to not be here. And the only way I could do it was medicine. I turned around and went back downstairs, with Liam following behind me.

“Get me some more of those poppy seed tincture syringes from the hospital.”

“Luna, I - ,” he met my eyes, and whatever he saw in them had him swallowing the objection. “Alright, Luna,” he said sadly and I just nodded before walking back home.

I was too far gone in my thoughts to be able to appreciate the beauty of summer. My mind sifted through all the excuses Henry had thrown at me to justify taking a concubine, and intellectually I could even agree with some of them. But this, now? Having sex with her outside of heat, hiding in his office? That was the very definition of adultery. But then again, what was the difference between Council-sanctioned adultery and plain old adultery, really? Though my mate might disagree, my heart sawno difference. He’d cheated on me the moment he’d agreed to the concubine, before ever even touching her.

???

Some three weeks later, Henry shook me awake from my drug-induced stupor. At first, the pain forced me to sedate myself maybe once a week, but then they grew bolder, and now there was no telling when the mood may strike them or how often. Luckily, Liam kept me supplied, so I was always ready.

“We're expected at the doctor’s.”

I somehow made it through the motions of a normal female getting ready to interact with other normal wolves. It was a sickening deja vu, the three of us in that office again. Only this time, the doctor’s words sobered me up faster than anything else would:

“Congratulations, Alpha, the insemination has been successful. Miss Rogers is pregnant.”

I looked at both of them and it seemed like this wasn’t news to them. Maybe that was what had prompted the celebratory romp that had me reaching for the syringe earlier. She was pregnant. I hadn't thought I was capable of feeling any more pain, but this information hit me straight in the heart.

So it had been me. I was the problem. Now Henry and Catherine and everyone else would be justified in saying he needed a new womb. I’d never felt more worthless in my life. The tears were streaming down my face, but luckily, no one paid any attention to me. The future parents kept throwing questions at the doctor while I sat alone in my misery.

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