Page 24 of The Barren Luna

After finishing my tea, I decided to take a shower – someone had already scrubbed me clean, but I still felt grimy and sticky and dirty; the feeling never really went away after the dungeon, and now with what I had done, I doubted I’d ever feel clean again. Istopped in front of the mirror to look at the she-wolf I was now – sallow complexion, a protruding collarbone, and a faint, almost invisible mark on my neck. It would soon be gone completely, and the thought filled my body with unexpected, heavy grief.

Tears started pricking my eyes and nose, and I let them fall as I took off the hospital gown and stepped under the hot water. I cried because the second half of my soul was dead – in that very moment, it didn’t matter what had happened between us in the last year, or how he met his demise; what mattered was the sparkle in his eyes back when I first met him, the love and tenderness I’d experienced when he took my virginity, and all the dreams that a young, naive, love-struck Ginny had. Dreams that were now dead, as dead as my mate, rotting away somewhere in the ground. Sobs shook me so hard that my still-tender ribs began to ache.

I had once loved Henry with every fiber of my soul. I longed to go back to that time, to never have experienced all the horrors of the last months. I longed for Dotty to be alive, for my mark to be intact, for me to still be the proud, happy mate of Alpha Henry Giles, who loved curling up next to him and enjoying what she believed was her forever.

I didn’t want to be this hollow husk of a wolf, with my pale face and sloppily chopped-off hair, a she-wolf who had seen others die and had dealt death to those who once used to be her whole world. It was too much loss and too much pain, and for the first time in the last year, I really let myself feel all of it.

For once in this whole ordeal, I was glad my wolf was dormant. I’d heard many a horror story of how shifters were affected by their mate dying – I couldn’t even imagine what mate murder would do to one. I didn’t want her to die or go crazy from the pain. Maybe this short, wolfsbane-induced reprieve would actually do her some good.

When I left the bathroom after what felt like an hour, there was some loungewear on my bed, all of it in different shades of blue – leggings, joggers, Henleys, t-shirts. This hospital was clearly much better off than the one back home(what was my home now?– I decided to shelve that thought for a while for my own sanity), but then again, this was the Rocky Mountain pack, more commonly known as the Royal Pack, the strongest and largest pack in the country.

Contrary to the pack’s name and their ruler’s title, it was not a real monarchy. Having a King was simply (and ironically) a democratic choice of all packs in order to streamline administrative matters and conflict resolution by allowing the Alpha of the strongest and largest pack to be called King and to preside over territory, power, and mating disputes, as well as the occasional issue we encountered with humans.

I’d met the late King, Phillip Bell, quite a few times during various summits and functions I’d attended with Henry; he was a just and kind male. I remembered Lucy informing me of his death and telling me that his oldest son had taken over. Him I’d never met, since he was always away, either training abroad or commanding their armies during military campaigns in various packs.

I then wondered how Lucy and the pups were doing, what she thought about what I had done – was she appalled? Disappointed? Angry? Henry had been our Alpha, after all, and the entire pack was affected by my actions. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt at the thought. I had long ago given up on being their Luna, but it was still in my nature to be a pack animal – neglecting the duties that I had foolishly imposed on myself was one thing, but willingly inflicting harm on my pack mates was another.

The next day, doctor Matthews came to my room, once again accompanied by the dark-haired male, who, this time, was not wearing his suit-cage but an olive green T-shirt and black jeans. He looked much more comfortable and at ease. Seeing him relaxed, so tall and wide, unrestrained, he looked like a warrior if there ever was one. I wondered if that was his function in the pack, if he was here as some sort of guard assigned to me.

“Hello, Ms. Haines,” the doctor smiled and the other man raised an eyebrow at the address. He must have read “Giles” in my file.

“Hello, doctor Matthews. And hello - ” I looked awkwardly at the stranger whose name I didn’t know yet. He cleared his throat before saying, in a resonant voice, “David.”

“Hello, David.”

He closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath before turning to the doctor and asking:

“So, what’s the situation?”

“Well,” the good doctor looked up from the chart he was holding, “Due to her physical and mental state, I strongly advise against putting her in the dungeons,” here David growled lowly, maybe in disapproval? Maybe he thought I belonged in the dungeons and I couldn't blame him.

The doctor quickly continued: “I also recommend expediting the trial as much as possible since she shouldn’t be exposed to the wolfsbane a moment longer than absolutely necessary. She'll be discharged tomorrow afternoon, I hope you will have her accommodations ready by then?”

After David nodded, the doctor excused himself to go and check on other patients, and as soon as he left, David approached my bed in long strides.

“How are you feeling?” He asked in that voice of his.

“Better, I guess,” I shrugged, feeling a weird camaraderie with the male. He saw me in the aftermath of committing a murder, it felt like he knew everything there was to know about me.

“I’m glad,” he said softly. “Do you need anything?”

“No, thank you. The hospital has provided clothes and toiletries, and I guess wherever you take me tomorrow will be fine as well.”

He looked amused at that. “I’m glad you like the hospital.”

“Well, as far as hospitals are concerned, this is one of the nicer ones I’ve been to,” I smiled and suddenly wondered how I could be smiling and talking about meaningless things when I had my mate’s blood on my hands. David noticed the change in my expression immediately, and he got up.

“Don’t think too hard,” he said. “Everything will be okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

I took a deep breath with my eyes closed.

“Okay,” I whispered.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Ms. Haines.”

“Please, call me Regina.”

“Alright. Regina,” he said slowly, as if trying the name out. “Goodbye.”

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