Page 38 of The Barren Luna

I hesitated for the first time since he started questioning me.

“I guess... I guess I was trying to prove something to the pack. Prove my value, earn my keep. I may not have had pups, but I had worth nevertheless. Kind of sad when you think about it.”

“I don’t think it’s sad, I think it’s understandable. What were your thoughts about the aftermath of the infidelity, both during Miss Rogers’ heat and outside of it? What kind of future did you see after the three heat cycles were up?”

“All I kept thinking was that I saw no way forward after what Henry had done, and my heart made no distinction between the two infidelities. He had cheated on me the moment he accepted the idea of breeding another female, pack heir be damned. I didn't want that pup, a pup conceived that way. Do you know that they wanted to induce lactation so I could breastfeed the pup born from my mate’s infidelity?” I looked at him and he seemed hopelessly sad. “Just because someone is your mate doesn’t mean he’s a good, loving male, and it does not mean you should forgive and forget if the person doesn’t exhibit genuine remorse. I just wanted to leave and live alone in a cabin somewhere, be nobody’s mate and nobody’s Luna.”

It was hard to breathe at this point. My lungs were burning.

“Hm. Now, Luna, I will not ask you too much about your imprisonment as I can see it is extremely upsetting to you, but the one thing I will ask is whether you remember what Miss Rogers discussed with you when she came to see you?”

“Honestly, I zoned out for most of it because I didn’t want to hear her. I remember she taunted me about all the sex she and Henry were having and how she was pregnant and I was useless,” I said with a clenched jaw.

“What happened when you were back in the home you had shared with the Alpha?”

I blew out a breath.

“It was all so confusing at first – I had no idea Hannah was dead, or the whole drama with the pup, I knew nothing. One day I was in the dungeon, and the next I woke up in my old bed, withoutany explanation. I was terrified of Henry. I thought he wanted to harm me, and I knew I still was under orders not to leave pack territory. So I figured I’d throw myself out the window, and either the fall would kill me since I was so weak, or the guards would.”

A deathly silence fell over the courtroom. David seemed to have trouble breathing and he squeezed his eyes shut. The hand he held on the witness stand had started growing fur. I didn’t understand what was happening. Maybe he was strongly opposed to suicide.

“You were not trying to escape? You were trying to die?” he asked quietly.

“Yes,” I replied in an even quieter voice.

“Why?”

“I had nowhere to run and no one to help me. The female who was basically my mother was dead. Henry was behaving like a lunatic. Death seemed like the better option,” I shrugged, the gesture trying to minimize the whole thing like females often are taught to do.

“What happened then?” he opened his eyes, and I saw that they had become completely black.

“The guards took me back to the house, where Jessie bandaged my ribs, and then Henry commanded me again, so now suicide was off the table for me as well.”

“You were put in an impossible position.”

“I was. I just felt like giving up at that point.”

“But you didn’t,” the eyes were back to blue, and they were – admiring me?

“I did for a moment. I would just lie in bed, motionless, and listen to Henry rambling about how we would be happy again, how he was sorry, how I was the only real thing in his life, howwe used to be happy before he ruined us,” I focused my gaze on a painting in the distance, on the back wall of the courtroom.

“He would organize these dinners for us; in his mind, they must have been dates. He would choose my outfits for me, and he would reminisce about our past. When he started talking about us having sex after my ribs healed,” here I was interrupted by someone actually saying,oh my God. David turned around to look at whoever it was, but I was grateful for the reprieve.

I composed myself as much as I could before continuing, “I was scared I would be raped or that he would try to get me pregnant again. I just couldn’t go through that, and that is what led to my decision.”

“Walk us through your plan.”

“One day, when he was at the office, I found my old drug stash of poppy-filled syringes. I knew I wasn’t allowed to harm myself, but I figured if I could incapacitate and kill him, I would be free of him, even if the guards killed me once he was dead. So on New Year’s Eve, after dinner, I took the plates to the sink, approached him from behind, and stuck the syringe into his jugular,” I closed my eyes to stop the prickling, but the action just pushed the tears out. “As soon as he went down, I grabbed my bread knife and sawed his head off.”

“Do you think you deserve to die for what you did?”

“Yes,” I said, surprising myself. I hadn’t even realized that was how I felt.

“Why?” he asked, again in that gentle tone.

“I am a mate killer. I don’t deserve mercy,” I heard sobbing from the audience and opened my eyes. Several of the Lunas were crying. Lucy was inconsolable. I looked around, puzzled.

“Thank you for your testimony, Luna Regina,” David said hoarsely, and his eyes seemed a little misty as well.

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