Page 67 of The Barren Luna

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March 30, 2021

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Dr. Jackson: “Did you have the opportunity to practice thought-stopping a bit more since our last conversation?”

Patient no. 49675: “I did. Adeline had invited me for lunch, and while I was getting ready, I managed to work myself up into an anxious mess. I started thinking that she invited me to trap me somehow, or attack me, or accuse me of something. I even thought that she might offer me money to leave David.”

Dr. Jackson: “Those are some very creative negative thoughts.”

Patient no. 49675: “Yeah. Then I remembered what we practiced and I told myself, “Adeline has been nothing but kind to you. You have no reason to think these things about her. She's not Catherine. You have been the victim of her venom for so long but you are safe now.”

And I just kept repeating that to myself over and over until I calmed down. And we ended up having the best lunch.”

Dr. Jackson: “I’m very proud of youRegina. That's no small feat. This may be the most useful skill you’ll ever learn, but like all other skills it needs to be mastered, practiced, and perfected.”

Patient no. 49675: “Thank you for saying you’re proud of me, it means a lot.”

Dr. Jackson: “You’re welcome. I can’t wait for the day when you’ll see yourself the way I see you.”

Patient no. 49675: “David said something similar once.”

Dr. Jackson: “That's very perceptive of him. Have you given any thought to the materials we looked at last time?”

Patient no. 49675: “I have, it’s just so difficult. I’ve been working on stopping the negative thoughts, and on confronting the negative beliefs about myself that I have internalized, and yet I feel I’m no closer to fully accepting myself than I was a month ago.”

Dr. Jackson: “Like I said, you don’t view yourself realistically, but it’s okay. You’re getting there. Just keep in mind, you can’t fully accept someone else when you can’t fully accept yourself.”

Patient no. 49675: “I wrote down a new quote yesterday, “Healing is about giving yourself love that you have always deserved.” Feels like it’s appropriate for the conversation we’re having.”

Dr. Jackson: “Absolutely. Together with that love, give yourself some grace, too. So many beautiful things were taken from youin such a short period of time, of course it’s difficult sometimes to let yourself believe that things can last and be good.”

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April 7, 2021

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Dr. Jackson: “What I find interesting is that both of your mates have told you and showed you who they were, yet you didn’t believe either of them. Why is that,Regina?”

Patient no. 49675: “With Henry, I was naïve, and with David, I am traumatized.”

Dr. Jackson: “Have you learned anything new about David in his absence?”

Patient no. 49675: “I have. My favorite thing I learned is that he does a lot of good for a lot of wolves and organizations, but he prefers to keep it a secret, and not to take credit for it. Helen, on the other hand, likes to sing his praises so she tells everyone behind his back and he hates it.”

Dr. Jackson: “Why is that your favorite thing?”

Patient no. 49675: “I guess it tells me that he doesn’t do things in order to be seen or admired by others. Which, in turn, leads me to believe that if he doesn’t crave their praise, he also won't be shaken by their criticism.”

Dr. Jackson: “That is an excellent point.”

Patient no. 49675: “Can I ask you something personal, Dr. Jackson?”

Dr. Jackson: “Sure.”

Patient no. 49675: “Would you like to have a second chance mate?”

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