Page 23 of Her Second-Hand Mate

“You’re a future Alpha, how can you not care about history at least?”

“I don’t know what to tell you, sis, I just don’t. Give me accounting and business and math classes every day, force me to train until I drop from exhaustion, I’m good. But start talking about stuff someone did 300 years ago? I just... can’t get myself to care. But I’m happy for you and Nana,” he grinned.

“It’s so great to have this experience with her even though we’re apart. And the class is great. Next, we’re reading Walt Whitman.”

“I don’t know who that is. Make sure you keep your notes so you can give them to me when they force me to take that class.”

“This is like art class all over again.”

“See? You and I are also sharing experiences even though we’re apart, how great is that?” Isaac asked as he held me in a hug thatresembled a choke hold, another sibling memory that we shared, and I just rolled my eyes at him.

Two days later I was lounging on the deck, readingLeaves of Grass,thinking about the word “untranslatable”, when Grace came out onto her deck with a mug. She waved and smiled at me, and I smiled back.

“I see we’re both bored and alone,” she said.

This was obviously uncommon for her. Elliot must have gone away with Dominic, I realized.

“How are you doing?” I asked in order to test out my theory.

“Oh, you know how it is. I miss Elliot. But he’s also driving me crazy. Every time he’s on one of these work trips, he takes full advantage of the bond and lets me feel every ounce of boredom, annoyance, impatience, and hunger he feels,” she lamented as she checked the potted plants on her deck.

I couldn’t have been more grateful that she wasn’t looking at my face at the moment.

He lets her feel his feelings.

He. Lets. Her.

I fixed my face as best as I could before asking, so calmly that I managed to surprise myself, “He lets you feel his hunger, huh?”

She smiled, somewhat self-consciously, “Yeah, I mean, I know most people block these types of emotions, and he does as well when he’s home, but he says this makes him feel close to me, so I do the same and it does help a bit. Don’t knock it till you try it!”

I laughed, but there wasn't an ounce of joy in my heart. “Maybe I will. Can you imagine?”

“I’d pay good money to see our Alpha doubled over with hunger while he’s giving an important speech,” she laughed.

I needed her to stop saying things, and I needed to stop thinking about things.

“Next time Dominic is on a trip, I’m having a sleepover with some friends from class. Why don’t you join us?”

“Oh, I would love that! Can I bring Margaret with me? She was just complaining to me about not having a lot of friends in the pack yet.”

“Are you kidding? I would love to host her as well. I’ll let you know as soon as I have the dates.”

“Great. Thanks. I miss my females from my old pack,” she said wistfully.

“Well, I hope this will be your new group,” I smiled as I got up. “I’ll see you later.”

I calmly went into the house, closed the door, climbed the stairs, went into our bedroom, entered my walk-in closet, and slid down the wall to sit on the floor with my knees pressed to my chest.

As I stared at the wall, I kept thinking.

My mate was blocking his feelings from me. All of them. All the time.

Why? Why didn’t he want to share that part of himself with me? I didn’t even know how he did that.

Meanwhile, he could probably feeleverythingI was feeling and thinking. I was mortified. And I felt naked and vulnerable.

It was unfair. Nothing about this whole mess was fair. But like Nana always said, fair is a place where they judge pigs.

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