Page 55 of Her Second-Hand Mate

“No need. I’m sure you have a lot of work to catch up on at the office,” she said and got up to put her plate in the sink.

That's fine, I told myself. If I said it enough, maybe I’d start believing it. I remembered how, in the beginning, she was shyly excited about every new thing and how she wanted to share everything with me, but I just couldn’t allow myself to relax and trust.

I was the one who taught her to be like this. I was so scared of getting hurt again, but ironically, the pain of loss would be preferable to the knowledge that you lost someone’s affection, respect, and trust. Maybe even love.

Had Penelope loved me? She’d never said so, but why would she? I didn’t exactly give out the green light for deep emotional conversations.

After she left, I went to the office. All the pack members I met along the way treated me very coldly, and the muffin I got at the bakery was stale. That old jerk sold his Alpha a stale muffin. I almost chuckled. My chest filled with pride for my pack and my Luna.

Now I was holding half of my stale muffin as I stared at our photo the way I always did when I was at the office. I’d never get any work done if it stayed on my desk. My wolf turned into a damn pup every time he caught sight of his mate, and I... Well, as long as I was alone in a room, I could allow myself to dream and hope, and give in to my feelings.

I didn’t know how to fix things. I’d been deceiving myself that it wasn’t so bad, but now I was faced with the extent of the damage I’d caused, and it was overwhelming. Whenever I’d lost something as a pup, my Dad would tell me to retrace my steps, and I’d find it.

That timeless piece of advice seemed appropriate in this situation, and, as much as it pained me, I started thinking back at the very first mistake I'd made in my mating with Penelope: the moment I started hiding my feelings from her after I'd marked her.

It was time to remove the veil and let her feel it all. Most of it was insecure and ugly, but she needed to know the real me.

As I willingly opened my mind to my mate for the first time, I sensed someone at the door. The smell of lavender greeted me as she knocked.

“Come in, Heather.”

“Dom, you’re finally back!” she greeted me with a huge grin on her face.

What was there to grin about? I tamped down my annoyance with her, as I always did. No need to take it out on her, she’d been through enough.

“Hello.”

There. I was being nice.

“Do you wanna grab lunch? Tell me about your trip?”

I frowned at the suggestion and wondered how I’d let her down gently, when I remembered Penelope’s words regarding Cassie’s stuff:you and Heather can decide what to do with it.

Penelope had told me she felt Heather was intruding on our time together, and I’d ignored her. I still wanted to keep my word and help Heather, but like my mother told me, maybe it was time to take the kid gloves off.

“Please sit down, Heather,” I told her, and her eyes widened in surprise at my tone.

“Is something wrong?”

“Look, I’ve been thinking. It’s been three years since the accident and you’re still afraid of not only driving, but of being driven by anyone but me. I think it’s time to talk to Vera. I said nothing when you refused in the aftermath of the accident, but now it’s time.”

“Dom, I - ” her eyes filled with tears. “You know how difficult this is, we’ve talked about it. You’ve never gone either.”

“I know. And I should have. I plan on stopping by her office today after work, and I suggest you do the same. It’s an official request.”

She swallowed and nodded. I nodded back to indicate this meeting was over, and she left without a word, for once. Thank God.

???

How long did exams last nowadays? Every day, she had to go see someone or help someone. Between her friends and sleeping in the nursery, I almost never saw her. She’d sometimes leave the door slightly open, which was a signal for my wolf to come in and cuddle. Lucky bastard.

But I wasn’t deterred by that. I let her feel my longing and my frustration. I let her feel my love and admiration when I looked at her. I tamped down a lot of the lust because I didn’t want her to think I was a sex maniac, but I let her feel some of that as well when I’d get a glimpse of her pregnancy curves.

It was a constant battle not to hide the fear and insecurity I felt. Showing her what a mess I was went against every instinct I had. I’d catch her looking at me in those moments, but what I’d see on her face wasn’t disgust. It was sympathy. I could live with sympathy.

“Do you have time to eat dinner with me tonight?” I asked her when she came to get ready in her walk-in.

“I’m sorry, I already made plans with Ophelia and your mom.”

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