Page 57 of Her Second-Hand Mate

I didn’t even know we were expecting a pup until two weeks ago, real father-of-the-year material. No wonder Alicia was looking at me like that.

“If this is your roundabout way of asking about having sex, as most fathers do, the answer is yes, you can, as long as the mother is comfortable,” Alicia said matter-of-factly, and I suddenly felt Penelope’s embarrassment.

I guess the comment really knocked her off balance if she let her guard slip. I, in turn, felt my guts twisting at the thought thatmy pregnant mate didn’t want me touching her. I’d never get to experience making love to her like this.

Despair washed over me, and I let it. I’d never get this time back. The first year of my mating. Penelope’s first pregnancy. And it was all my fault. It was difficult to even remember why I’d been so stupid, but then I did remember and it quickly sobered me up.

Penelope looked at me, confused.

“Thank you for your help, Alicia,” I said to the female and then turned to Penelope, “I’ll wait for you outside.”

???

“Hello, Alpha Dominic,” a surprised Dr. Jackson was looking at me over the top of her reading glasses as I barged into her office. “Did you need something?”

“I need some help,” I said, and when she didn’t respond, I added, “with Penelope. I kind of made a mess of things.”

She nodded and then took her glasses off and set them down on her desk.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to come see me, Alpha. Ever since your first mate died.”

“I don’t want to talk about that. Just tell me what I can do to fix things with Penelope.”

“I’m sorry, Alpha, but that’s not how this works. In order tofix things,” she said with exaggerated air quotes, which I, frankly, found repulsive, “you have to first fixyourself.And that can only happen if you heal the two wounds you’ve been carrying inside you all these years. Without confronting them, everything else will be useless,” she calmly explained, and I felt myself getting irrationally angry.

“I don’t think I can,” I said brusquely and left her office, only to show up again the next morning.

“I’m only doing this for Penelope,” I said, and she let me in with a small but smug smile.

???

“Dr. Jackson suggested I talk to you,” I told Penelope’s mating counselor friend. “You’re covered by confidentiality as well, right?”

“Of course, Alpha,” she answered with a blank face, the picture of professionalism, despite being my mate’s close friend and probably hating my guts.

“Let’s not pretend you don’t know how I messed things up,” I got straight to the point.

Talking to Vera left me raw and exposed for days afterward, and I was sure Penelope suffered from feeling the aftershocks of my intense therapy sessions, too. If I could minimize that pain for myself and for her, I’d seize that chance with both hands.

“What do you recommend I do? Do we need counseling?”

“You two are not good candidates for mating counselingright now, because you are the one who continuously eroded the trust between you two and thereby damaged your bond – so the onus is on you to repair it, not on you two to work on it together.

The bond alone only goes so far and without putting in the work, it can very quickly atrophy. Perhaps when that part is completed, you can come see me together to work on some communication techniques.”

“What do you suggest I do?”

“I have some books that might help you understand what you’ve done a bit better and give you some pointers on how to proceed. None of these are manuals, but they are suggestions to be tailored to your unique relationship with your unique mate,” she said as she turned to her bookshelf.

After she handed me three books, she said, “Once you’ve read these, I’m available for any concerns or questions you might have.”

I glanced at the book covers:Eight Dates, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage –was I studying for a math test? Why did they all have numbers in the title?

“Thank you, Ms. Cranch.”

“Good luck, Alpha.”

???

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