Page 66 of Her Second-Hand Mate

“You know,” I cleared my throat, getting my canines under control, “after Penelope gave birth, she was extremely grossed out after touching her soft belly the first time. She avoided touching it for days. I guess this is the part of me that I avoid touching. But I see your point.”

“Thank you for acknowledging that. Now, how haveyoubeen feeling this past week?”

I stretched my legs and exhaled. “Relaxed.”

“In what sense?”

“I’m not keeping myself on a leash anymore. I’m not tightly wound inside myself from sunrise til sunset.”

“Ah. I remember you telling me about letting your feelings run free after Penelope had gone to sleep. Why do you think you did that?”

“I sometimes believed if I didn’t let myself relax, love her, or believe in her, I could prevent bad things from happening.”

“Are you over that belief now?”

I scoffed, “Definitely. Look where it got me.”

She hummed.

“What changed? Why now?”

“I’ve been thinking about that when I was in Spruce Mountain. I changed, I guess. I trust Penelope. I love her. I want to have a deeper relationship with her even if it inevitably ends in the death of one of us.”

“Why?”

“Being without her is worse than all of the other things I was scared of.”

Vera’s smile was bright and gentle and coaxed out one of my own.

“But nowshedoesn’t trustyou.”

And my smile was gone, just like that.

“I know.”

“What are you doing to remedy that?”

I looked at the ceiling in exasperation. “Honestly, not much. She doesn’t leave me a lot of room to be more involved in her life, and she doesn’t even do it in a mean way. She just lives her life without me in it, like she’s used to doing. Thank God for Gabriel, otherwise I wouldn’t even have an excuse to come to her room so much.”

“What have you done so far?”

“I’ve been present and involved in our home life, I’ve been trying to unburden her as much as I can with regards to our pup, and I have taken steps to remedy my past behavior, such as unblocking my feelings and starting to build a new house for us,” I recited.

Being in therapy was like going to school sometimes.

Vera nodded as she made notes.

“What do you think the biggest obstacle you have to overcome is?”

“Winning her trust back, emotionally. I don’t think she’ll be vulnerable or open with me again that easily.”

“In a way, you’re perfect for the job because you know what it’s like to insulate yourself against hurt.”

“I do. A big part of what helped me trust her was time and consistency. She showed me, time and again, how good and right for me she was. And I plan on doing the same. It’s not easy being patient, but I had the best example in her.”

“That’s all you can do for now. Are you excited for the party tomorrow?”

“Yes,” I grinned. “My wolf is also looking forward to introducing his heir to his pack. And planning the party gave us a lot of time with Penelope.”

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